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I had my psych consult this morning. The counselor said that we make decisions based on two things- emotions/feelings and wants. Emotions and feelings are our present or perhaps past things- but wants are future things.

The example he gave is- if you get up in the morning and aren't feeling super great, you still probably go to work anyways because you want a paycheck, or to save up your vacation for something else, or because you want to finish or do something important at work, etc. Even though you FEEL kind of crummy, your WANT for those other things dictate your decision to go ahead and go in to work. And the closer you get to work, usually you start feeling a bit better. Once in awhile we feel so bad that we do stay home, but that's not the usual course.

He said that making decisions based on what we WANT helps us to decide things based on future outcomes. Basing us on feelings and emotions keeps us stuck in the present, or even the past.

So make decisions based on WANTS- and not on emotions and feelings. Once in awhile the emotions and feelings take over, but if that becomes rare, then it's manageable.

Feelings and emotions pass. Wants- I want to be healthy, I want to sit in the airplane seat comfortably when I go on vacation, I want to look good at my daughter's wedding- those will lead us to better decision making in the long run.

I hope this is coherent. It was a good psych consult! :blink:

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I had my psych consult this morning. The counselor said that we make decisions based on two things- emotions/feelings and wants. Emotions and feelings are our present or perhaps past things- but wants are future things.

The example he gave is- if you get up in the morning and aren't feeling super great, you still probably go to work anyways because you want a paycheck, or to save up your vacation for something else, or because you want to finish or do something important at work, etc. Even though you FEEL kind of crummy, your WANT for those other things dictate your decision to go ahead and go in to work. And the closer you get to work, usually you start feeling a bit better. Once in awhile we feel so bad that we do stay home, but that's not the usual course.

He said that making decisions based on what we WANT helps us to decide things based on future outcomes. Basing us on feelings and emotions keeps us stuck in the present, or even the past.

So make decisions based on WANTS- and not on emotions and feelings. Once in awhile the emotions and feelings take over, but if that becomes rare, then it's manageable.

Feelings and emotions pass. Wants- I want to be healthy, I want to sit in the airplane seat comfortably when I go on vacation, I want to look good at my daughter's wedding- those will lead us to better decision making in the long run.

I hope this is coherent. It was a good psych consult! :blink:

Thank-you so much for sharing that. My last weigh-in is Novevmeber 1. I hope to be banded a month after that. I now share in your aha moment. I will look to my wants. You captured many of the things I want. My daughter is getting married. I want to travel. I want to fit into a comfortable chair or booth at a resturant. So now I know what I have to do. No matter what stumbleing blocks come up it is not an excuse to eat. Doing that is what has me on deaths door with almost 200 pounds to loose.

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I had my psych consult this morning. The counselor said that we make decisions based on two things- emotions/feelings and wants. Emotions and feelings are our present or perhaps past things- but wants are future things.

The example he gave is- if you get up in the morning and aren't feeling super great, you still probably go to work anyways because you want a paycheck, or to save up your vacation for something else, or because you want to finish or do something important at work, etc. Even though you FEEL kind of crummy, your WANT for those other things dictate your decision to go ahead and go in to work. And the closer you get to work, usually you start feeling a bit better. Once in awhile we feel so bad that we do stay home, but that's not the usual course.

He said that making decisions based on what we WANT helps us to decide things based on future outcomes. Basing us on feelings and emotions keeps us stuck in the present, or even the past.

So make decisions based on WANTS- and not on emotions and feelings. Once in awhile the emotions and feelings take over, but if that becomes rare, then it's manageable.

Feelings and emotions pass. Wants- I want to be healthy, I want to sit in the airplane seat comfortably when I go on vacation, I want to look good at my daughter's wedding- those will lead us to better decision making in the long run.

I hope this is coherent. It was a good psych consult! :blink:

What a great post! Just starting my journey, I'm already becoming more introspective, analyzing why I do what I do. Feelings and emotions have certainly played a big role, with my inner voice constantly saying "you don't deserve anything better". Probably why I constantly sabotage myself.

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thank you for this! I am going to think of this the next time I dont FEEL like working out! :)

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If you get a chance, write down a long list of your "wants" that relate to the band and getting healthier. I did one before my surgery, and I can not tell you how amazing it felt as I lost weight to check all of those things I was looking forward to off my list as I they became part of my reality. Having a standard bath towel wrap around with room to spare was an NSV that I would not have wanted to miss noting! :) I have just one more to check off... not being a fat bride... so hopefully my BF will step it up sometime soon! Hee hee...

Seriously though, I found that list really helpful (I did it as a pro/con list to use when I was having second thoughts about surgery) and hope that, if you do one, you'll get as much out of it as I did. Here's a link to mine if you want to take a look.

Congratulations on your Aha moment! And, best wishes for much success!!

Best,

Catherine

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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