I had my psych consult this morning. The counselor said that we make decisions based on two things- emotions/feelings and wants. Emotions and feelings are our present or perhaps past things- but wants are future things.

The example he gave is- if you get up in the morning and aren't feeling super great, you still probably go to work anyways because you want a paycheck, or to save up your vacation for something else, or because you want to finish or do something important at work, etc. Even though you FEEL kind of crummy, your WANT for those other things dictate your decision to go ahead and go in to work. And the closer you get to work, usually you start feeling a bit better. Once in awhile we feel so bad that we do stay home, but that's not the usual course.

He said that making decisions based on what we WANT helps us to decide things based on future outcomes. Basing us on feelings and emotions keeps us stuck in the present, or even the past.

So make decisions based on WANTS- and not on emotions and feelings. Once in awhile the emotions and feelings take over, but if that becomes rare, then it's manageable.

Feelings and emotions pass. Wants- I want to be healthy, I want to sit in the airplane seat comfortably when I go on vacation, I want to look good at my daughter's wedding- those will lead us to better decision making in the long run.

I hope this is coherent. It was a good psych consult!

I had my psych consult this morning. The counselor said that we make decisions based on two things- emotions/feelings and wants. Emotions and feelings are our present or perhaps past things- but wants are future things.

The example he gave is- if you get up in the morning and aren't feeling super great, you still probably go to work anyways because you want a paycheck, or to save up your vacation for something else, or because you want to finish or do something important at work, etc. Even though you FEEL kind of crummy, your WANT for those other things dictate your decision to go ahead and go in to work. And the closer you get to work, usually you start feeling a bit better. Once in awhile we feel so bad that we do stay home, but that's not the usual course.

He said that making decisions based on what we WANT helps us to decide things based on future outcomes. Basing us on feelings and emotions keeps us stuck in the present, or even the past.

So make decisions based on WANTS- and not on emotions and feelings. Once in awhile the emotions and feelings take over, but if that becomes rare, then it's manageable.

Feelings and emotions pass. Wants- I want to be healthy, I want to sit in the airplane seat comfortably when I go on vacation, I want to look good at my daughter's wedding- those will lead us to better decision making in the long run.

I hope this is coherent. It was a good psych consult!

Thank-you so much for sharing that. My last weigh-in is Novevmeber 1. I hope to be banded a month after that. I now share in your aha moment. I will look to my wants. You captured many of the things I want. My daughter is getting married. I want to travel. I want to fit into a comfortable chair or booth at a resturant. So now I know what I have to do. No matter what stumbleing blocks come up it is not an excuse to eat. Doing that is what has me on deaths door with almost 200 pounds to loose.

I had my psych consult this morning. The counselor said that we make decisions based on two things- emotions/feelings and wants. Emotions and feelings are our present or perhaps past things- but wants are future things.

The example he gave is- if you get up in the morning and aren't feeling super great, you still probably go to work anyways because you want a paycheck, or to save up your vacation for something else, or because you want to finish or do something important at work, etc. Even though you FEEL kind of crummy, your WANT for those other things dictate your decision to go ahead and go in to work. And the closer you get to work, usually you start feeling a bit better. Once in awhile we feel so bad that we do stay home, but that's not the usual course.

He said that making decisions based on what we WANT helps us to decide things based on future outcomes. Basing us on feelings and emotions keeps us stuck in the present, or even the past.

So make decisions based on WANTS- and not on emotions and feelings. Once in awhile the emotions and feelings take over, but if that becomes rare, then it's manageable.

Feelings and emotions pass. Wants- I want to be healthy, I want to sit in the airplane seat comfortably when I go on vacation, I want to look good at my daughter's wedding- those will lead us to better decision making in the long run.

I hope this is coherent. It was a good psych consult!

What a great post! Just starting my journey, I'm already becoming more introspective, analyzing why I do what I do. Feelings and emotions have certainly played a big role, with my inner voice constantly saying "you don't deserve anything better". Probably why I constantly sabotage myself.

thank you for this! I am going to think of this the next time I dont FEEL like working out!

If you get a chance, write down a long list of your "wants" that relate to the band and getting healthier. I did one before my surgery, and I can not tell you how amazing it felt as I lost weight to check all of those things I was looking forward to off my list as I they became part of my reality. Having a standard bath towel wrap around with room to spare was an NSV that I would not have wanted to miss noting! I have just one more to check off... not being a fat bride... so hopefully my BF will step it up sometime soon! Hee hee...

Seriously though, I found that list really helpful (I did it as a pro/con list to use when I was having second thoughts about surgery) and hope that, if you do one, you'll get as much out of it as I did. Here's a link to mine if you want to take a look.

Congratulations on your Aha moment! And, best wishes for much success!!

Best,

Catherine