Here goes - Seems that my Husband and I have decided to call it quits after 2 children and 10 1/2 yrs of marriage. No it is not because I lost Wt but because of his family. We have gone rounds about the way my MIL was treating my children. For example my youngest (4) was and does call her Mommy - In order for him to get something from her she would have him call her Mommy or not get what ever he wanted. She would try this with my oldest but I would stress in front of her that this is your Grandma. To some it may sound petty but I cannot stand her so it makes it that much worse. She would not feed my children according to the food schedual meaning Breakfast, lunch or snack until she was hungry or they would have to tell her that they were hungry. I would find out about these things from my oldest son (8) and when I would ask her she would say it was not true and scold him the next time he would go down there. I would also talk to my husband and he would call her and ask her and she would deny it. Anyway so many other things started to go wrong starting with New years Eve. I was to meet him after a day with the kids in Denver to go to different houses to Celebrate. When he called me on my cell phone he was so drunk I decided to just get my brothers kids and go home. I was the baby sitter. Anyway he did not show up until after 1 in the morning - no phone call where he was. He usually just goes to his brothers house. Anyway I found out from my MIL that he was at the dance with her. How sad that the kids and I were waiting for him. He says that he just went with his brother to pick her up at a anniversay dance. I talked to her and told her that I did not like that at all and it was a sign to me of disrespect any way if you are still reading this thanks but it gets worse.

Three weeks ago my son fell and hit the toilet rim on his forehead while trying to take off his underwear. I called the hosp and was so upset that I thought he broke his skull. Anyway I told my MIL in the Am about the fall and to watch him and call me if he got sick or acted strange. When I went to pick up my childeren up my oldest told me that Grandma said that it was my fault my youngest fell and I do not know how to watch my kids. This was the straw that broke the camels Back. I went into the house with just the intention of asking her why she would say something like that and I had my son with me. Now she proceeded to call him a liar and said that he was just upset that she told him to sit down. I told her that the child care was not working out because everyday someone - my son - me - my other child is dirty - unfed - wet - you name it. Then she got completely hostile and crazy she starts yelling and telling me that my son was this and that and that is when I told her I would believe my son any day of the week compared to the pyscho family she has.

Anyway I am moving my son towards the door and she is still ranting about me having no respect. Granted maybe I should have just bit my tongue but these are my children and I could not and would not let her do this to them. Needless to say that my Husband took her side - He says that my son loves to tell stories and that was one of them. Anyway she has him tied to her - For the last Year she makes him lunch so he goes early in the morning to pick it up and sit with her. He gets home from work showers and goes eats dinner down there. I fix dinner for me and the boys and we eat together

Weekends around 4 or 5 in the morning he is back down there. He never spends time with the kids. I see him following in the same steps as his dad. I try everyday and weekend to always do something special with the kids but my oldest tells me MoM why does dad not want to ever be with us? I say I don't know he is just to busy..

Granted I have always stressed to him you have one Mother in this life time Treat her the best. Well he might as well live with her. My gut just wrenches when I think of going home. He sleeps in a different room and the boys either sleep in their room or with me. I wish I could just leave but money and paying off what we owe is a big issue. He is does not abuse me nor with words but he is a yeller. Granted he still gives me his paycheck to deposit in the account but I want so much more. I have tried to talk to him but he says that when I told his mom off that changed everything. I really should have told her more if I knew he was not going to defend his kids

My children are no longer with her and are alot happier - clean - fed - and loved

His family comes from Mexico and we are different Cultures - it has alot to do with it and through the years I have just blown some stuff off.

I hope I get through this weekend stress free:)

Thanks for reading this

Like everyone else has said, you are very brave, even if you don't feel like it, and someday, your kids will see that you stood up for them and for family. You mentioned your DH was like his father; well these sons may see a different example set, and you could be giving them the best gift ever. I am sorry you are going through this, and be sure to take care of yourself (one of the hardest jobs ever given to mothers!) (((hugs))), Cindy

Best wishes Mary and I know you will get through this. You are a strong woman who have 4 children who love you very much! Huggs!

((((hugs)))) Oh Mary, I'm so sorry. It is just terrible that you MIL can't let go. Something sick about that.

It's never easy, but you are strong, and you have all of us, those that post and all that lurk.

Hiyas Mary..

I have been in your shoes twice in my life. I survived it and I think that even tho there are always complications of divorce that seem to affect our kids forever more, I believe they were better off with just me rather than being treated like crap by anyone else.. family or not.

Be strong, think with your head not your emotions, consider long term consequences and dont ignore that 'nagging little voice' in your head that's telling you what you should be doing.

I don't support divorce as an answer to problems but then I've been divorced twice. And I swear, I can't say I'd do it any differently if I had it to do over again. But I also know the heartache that lingers long after. Tough spot to be in girl. Pray, lean on friends and family you trust, and keep trying until the bitter end to get thru to that man of yours.

Best of everything to you and your family,

Sincerely,

Susan

I know that this situation is hard for you, but I am so proud of you for doing what is right for your children. It's a shame that your husband is acting like this, and I'm sorry that it's happening to you. You are such a sweet woman and wonderful mother.

Many Hugs

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Some men just never grow up and leave their mommies, and some mothers encourage that because of their own insecurities or whatever. Your husband will someday realize he made the wrong choice, but for now you have to do what's best for you and your children. Divorce is never a good answer, but sometimes it's the ONLY answer. Sending hugs and good thoughts your way...you WILL get through this.

Emily

Wow! Mary ((hugs)) Kudos for standing up & saying that you & your kids deserve better. You truely do b/c I am sure what you wrote was barely the tip of the iceberg! Please be safe & smart & make sure you have a very very good lawyer. I would also say that if there was any small chance of him & his mother & you going to therapy that it may be worth it for the children's sake. However,IMO, I would never let the kids be watched daily by her now or in the future with what you have experienced.

May all Strength & Courage that you need be with you now & for years to come!