Just some stuff that has been tumbling around in my brain. I have ALWAYS considered myself fat. Never have I thought I was normal. All of my friends were normal, but not me.

With 40 pounds lost, things are changing... Something is awakening inside me! I have always longed to be the flirty gal that all the guys want to talk to (even though I am VERY happily married) You know the girl, the one that walks past a table and all the heads turn. I want to be her!

Well, Saturday night we went to a fish fry with some of our closest friends. I was the only girl there, like I usually am, but it was different this time. The guys were treating me like a girl, not like one of the guys! They are always nothing but nice to me, but it was like I was getting a lot more special attention. Only one of our friends knows that I had surgery and I haven't seen him since 1 month post op. He took me aside and said "WOW, you have really lost a lot of weight"

I just wanted to cry! These guys that don't even know I am not one of the guys, noticing weight loss. I was blown away. Well his brother heard him say that and said, Yeah, you are looking really good. Mind you, the alcohol was flowing, and I was 3 sheets to the wind, but I was in Heaven.

This time there was another guy there that knew my DH but I had never met him. Well, he was HOT. He is a guy that you never would think would lood twice at a big girl (that is my messed up way of thinking) Anyways... as the nite progressed, this big girl (very pretty) came out of the house and it was his wife!!! I just loved him even more for being such a hottie and loving one of us curvacious women.

I know, a lot of rambling, but I am trying to find myself and get out of my shell when it comes to guys!!! I don't need to come all the way out since I am married, but you know, I want to be able to talk to them and to dance with them.

How do you react to men thinking you are hot???? I have been getting noticed a lot more, and it scares me a little!!!

Thanks for listening to my rambling.

I think it's great that you are getting the attention...you deserve it! I am in the same boat as you...happily married!! And I think it makes a marriage and a sex life better!!! Because if you are getting cat-calls and it makes you feel more confident in yourself and feel more sexier, to me...it makes the sexy come out! I feel smaller in his arms and not as frumpy! Make sense? My husband and I are around alot of men because of the fact that he belongs to a motorcycle club and all of our friends, especially the men, tell me how great I look and that DH better watch out and treat me right or they are coming after me! :faint: That is a great compliment and I know they are teasing too so it makes for good fun! Don't be scared of it girl! Enjoy it! :clap2: Just wait until you change something else like your hair or your make-up even...they notice that too! :biggrin1: And along with the weightloss comes a new style...wear clothing that you would have never worn before...it is so worth it! Enjoy this time and cherish it...don't fret about it...it's all good! And it gets better!

It is a strange feeling to suddenly be the center of attention...especially after spending so much time trying to blend in and not be noticed.

My advice...

1. Learn how to graciously accept a compliment...you deserve it.

2. Enjoy the attention!

3. Realize that you are deserving of it.

Congrats!

i alwasy have said either u have sex appeal or u don't... like ur born with that inherent nature to 'work what yo' mama gave u' or not! The problem is when ur a bigger curvier women- like most of us here - society doesnt ALLLLLOW u to explore that side of urself. They basically make anyone who is curvy or overweight seem and feel unattractive and unsexual...which is OBVIOUSLY NOT THE CASE.

And while it might be IN YOU (like u said u have always wanted to be) for whatever reason - psychologically- u have stopped urself from thinking that anyone would even consider u to be sexy and flirty and womanly bc u are 'heavier'. Its not abnormal to feel that way!!!! Im sure that the attention that ur getting now makes u feel AWESOME and SCARED all at the same time bc ur not used to allowing urself to feel good about urself. The thing is that u need to STOP urself from being ur worst critic... alot of times people react to US the way we react to THEM. So all these years that u have been thinking that ur friends have treated u like 'just one of the guys' might have just been bc u were reluctant and insecure about urself and thus putting up a front. One of being seen more as "friend" then as something more! do u get what im saying here? The second that u start believing in urself and having confidence people are going to instantly be attracted to that... whether or not ur 300 lbs or 120 lbs. Believe me there are mannny men that find plus size women attractive and would pick them over a skinny annorexic arm charm anyday (im guessing ur husband is supportive of u and has been thru the best and worst time of ur weight).

i never had a problem picking up men even when i was at my heaviest (not to sound like im bragging bc im tooootally not) but it was alllllllll about my attitude and personality...not about how i looked. I mean i just tried to work what i had and not constantly dwell on what i didnt like about myself. That was something my parents instilled in me at a young age- they alwasy made me feel like i could conquer the world not matter what. And that just proves to me that u have to be comfortable in ur own skin in order to really allow that side of u to come out...

In my opinion i get PISSED when guys that i have known for a while all of a sudden start complimenting me and saying im hot or this and that after i have lost a few pounds. I basically want to punch them in the face and ask them what the hell was so wrong with me in the first place? THAT annoys me and i think i'd rather NOT hear it then hear it...bc it just confirms the fact to me that society is filled with a bunch of superfical loosers. HAHA wow im not bitter!

If men start hitting on me, I might actually appreciate it - it would mean that they think I'm hot and sharply dressed!!

And I have to say, I'm looking forward to having men hit on my wife! I think she's fabulous now - but I can't wait to see the color red that hits her face when she realizes the cat-calls and whistles are aimed at her! That'll be fun!!

Overall, I'd say that Apryl's advice is some of the best I've read. Enjoy yourselves!!

Ah, Heather

Feel the Power! You can amp it up or tone it down. You can use it for good or evil. Revel in it. Love it. Love yourself. Radiate!!

Take the compliments as your due. You are a goddess, a queen.

You have now begun to experience the Power of Woman. All of us have it - some of us just don't know it (deep down) yet.

Wear it well.

:]

Having been sexy all my life, it is hard for me to imagine not getting the cat calls and such. It is a difficult road, but it is a cross I have been destined to bear.

Seriously, I went to a bar in old town Alexandria with a friend a while back. We were walking through a crowded section, his friend in front of me, and he behind me, when I felt a grab on my ass. Not a little grab, mind you, but an "i've gotta get me some of this meat" kind of grab. By the time I turned, I saw this table of men, and thought... oh great, a guy just grabbed my ass. When we got to our table my friend was laughing, and I told him someone grabbed my ass, and I thought it was a guy. he wa laughing the whole time,and pointed to a 20-something attractive blond at a table with a bunch of friends. He said that she did it, i looked that direction, and the whole table started waving at me. Now for a 40 year old fat man, I was astonished, until they sent a pitcher of beer to my table. Whadda ya know! And this was before my surgery.

My wife thought it was hilarious.

So, the moral of the story is... whenever any of you meet me in person, you're gonna want to grab my ass, and buy me beer. Sorry, I just wanted to warn you.

Thanks for the warning Paul! I am sure all of us will be ready with beer in one hand and the other ready to get a firm hold! :beer: :eyebrows:

Right ladies??

For a moment I was scared that it was me that grabbed your ass! But I have never been to Alexandria! Whew, thank goodness.

I have a bad habit of taking dares!

Before I gained the weight, I used to be the one in the group of women who was ogled, whistled at..and all that. I have missed that since I have gotten older and fat....but I want to lose the weight for ME! I want to look in the mirror and say...Sharon...you look GOOD again. I want to feel comfortable in my clothes and when I sit in the car or in a small chair I don't want to look like a stuffed sausage or feel like one. I can't stand wearing a bra anymore because I can't find one I like (I have two of the $80 Ophrah bras and I hate them), one that doesn't cut me in half and push everything up to where my chin (and I only have one chin) sits on my boobs. I have always had large boobs and they are not absolutely huge now but clothes just don't feel comfy when you are fat...even with elastic waists! LOL. And...a cat call once in a while wouldn't hurt anything either!