I promised myself, that when I hit a year, I'd post a "success" story.

A year ago today, I lay in the "big" hospital bed at 274 pounds and completely miserable. The two days prior to surgery were the worst ever. I called my Dr's nurse the morning of surgery and told her "I think I need to cancel, I can't do this." She told me that she wasn't going to listen to me and that she expected to see me at the hospital in a few hours.

I'm so glad I did. There are very very few things in my life that I'm more happy about than my decision to have Lapband surgery.

I was 32 and miserable. Couldn't stand to look at myself, even more, couldn't stand to have my husband look at me. We got together when we were 17. I was fit then, always the bigger girl, but very active. Softball, cross country, track, etc. Almost immediately after HS, the weight just piled on. When we got married at 20, my wedding dress was a size 16. I hated my wedding photos, they are horrible. To this day, very few people have actually seen them. I still have them in proof form, in a box underneath my desk. I have no pictures of my wedding out on display. For that matter, I have very few pictures of myself in the last 14 years.

We have two kids, two boys, who are very active. It was so hard to want to do anything with them. My husband, thank goodness, is one of those people who could eat the world and couldn't weigh more than 160 if he tried. So, while I always took the pictures or sat on the sidelines, they had the fun.

I spent my 20's with no sexual drive whatsoever. I was disgusted with myself. If I couldn't even look at myself, how could my husband want to. It made him sad, he always said he didn't see me the way I did. I couldn't believe him.

So, after three years of research, I initially tried to get the band in 2007. My insurance changed at year end and no longer covered it. So scratch that. In 2010, I went to my GP and he asked if I'd thought about it. Yeah yeah, I did, but insurance. He encouraged me to call and check again. Unbeknownst to me, they covered it again. I cried and cried and cried. That was in Feb 2010. I quickly researched the two Dr's that I had chosen and decided on one. Went to the seminar, got my 6 month supervised diet in, all the other pre-req's and next thing I knew, I'm laying in the hospital bed seriously thinking I shouldn't be doing this.

Recovery was HARD, not hard hard, but not what I expected. The first week, I was sure that this was the worst decision I had ever made. Only a clinically insane person would put themselves through this, I was sure of it. However, things started getting better. I was losing weight and I was losing it quickly.

When I was around 3 weeks post op, I started walking/running. Eventually, I was running a mile, then two, then three. I was actually able to RUN and ENJOY it!!!

There have been some bumps along the way. Mainly mental. Around September, I was sure I was going insane. I was okay, but, it wasn't until then, that I actually realized my crutch, my addiction, was food. I was going through a "detox", lol. It made me for one very very grouchy and irritable woman.

I believe, I finally hit onederland on December 8th. 75 pounds gone since July 29th, a little over 4 months. By the end of 2010, I was down 80-85 pounds. Now, today, I'm down 106 pounds. I still have 15-20 pounds until I reach goal but I'm happy. I'm so happy! I'm plateaued, but I'm happy.

I run 5k's WITH my kids and husband now. I have energy. I'm the person, I think I always knew was inside of me.

Make no bones about it, it is difficult. It is a huge mental mind screw. There are days I look in the mirror and I don't see me now. I see me as I was a year ago. It's hard. But there are days, I look in the mirror, with the biggest smile on my face and I see me as I am now. I've made it and I've done it.

Hugs to everyone who does this journey. It's well worth it.

I was going to post some pics from my gallery, but they were insanely too big.

Here is the link. http://www.lapbandta.../7195-new-pics/

How did things go with your TT and breast lift surgery?

if i could find a better word than "awesome" i would. i just got banded a month ago, i hope to have a success story like yours in a year too ! i started this journey at 225 lbs, im down to 213 and have my first post op and fill in 2 days. thanks for sharing your story, i reconized myself in parts of your story too. good luck to you !

How did things go with your TT and breast lift surgery?

It went awesome. I'm putting a link to my surgery thread below. Everything is healed up and WONDERFUL! My scars are not bad and I would absolutely do it all over again!

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/topic/136852-full-tummy-tuck-and-breast-lift-done-one-month-ago-progress-and-pics/

• Wow!! What an inspiration you are!! You brought tears to my eyes. I am in the process of waiting for an approval...Everything has been submitted and the wait is killing me! I am trying to remain as positive as I can but, its so hard.
  

great post!!!! i don't think people fully realize it when writing ones like this but lots and lots of us read it and benefit from your words - even if the majority don't comment. I wish you all the best on those last 15-20 i hear those are the hardest - but you will do it!!!

I think Allison pretty much sums it up for me. It's inspirational stories like these that motivate me and give me some drive. Thanks for sharing.....