My adult daughter said I'm selfish for not having a 4th of July family cookout. Said its not their fault I decided to get bannded now. I think they are the ones being selfish. It has been pure torture watching them bring Chic-Fil-A and everything else in my home for themselves knowing I cant have any of it. Granted they shouldnt have to suffer because of my retrictions, but its my house, my money, my pool. Why should I shellout to buy food I cant eat? I do wnt to see my family, so I told them all hey are more than welcome to come over, but are responsible for bringing items they wish to how on the grill. I'm providing fresh NJ corn on the cob, a macaroni salad, and plates and utensils only. What do you think? Am I wrong?

Heck no you aren't wrong. She's an adult tell her if she wants a family bbq she should have one at HER house! She needs to be supportive of her mother.

You are absolutely NOT wrong. I think you took a very good approach for everyone. Even if you weren't on a liquid diet, it's not unheard of to ask people to bring their own main items to a cookout with the host providing other things, especially if the host is cleaning the house to get ready and offering up their pool. Sorry if this comes off tersely, but the reaction from your daughter seems a little selfish on her part Maybe this will become a new tradition, you know, unless your daughter wants a grilled veggie or salmon burger next year if you provide the meats Hang in there! You're making a great decision to protect yourself and health - that's most important.

My adult daughter said I'm selfish for not having a 4th of July family cookout. Said its not their fault I decided to get bannded now. I think they are the ones being selfish. It has been pure torture watching them bring Chic-Fil-A and everything else in my home for themselves knowing I cant have any of it. Granted they shouldnt have to suffer because of my retrictions, but its my house, my money, my pool. Why should I shellout to buy food I cant eat? I do wnt to see my family, so I told them all hey are more than welcome to come over, but are responsible for bringing items they wish to how on the grill. I'm providing fresh NJ corn on the cob, a macaroni salad, and plates and utensils only. What do you think? Am I wrong?

NO WAY, u are not wrong at all !! First of all i think ur daughter is being selfish, she should be supporting you and say u are right mom !!

Not that you are wrong for not having a barbeque but why cant you eat. A hamburger without the bread, and anything else there is no reason you cant eat some barbeque things. Let her have her own barbeque but still doesnt mean you cant eat

I'm only 5 days post-op so I'm not suppose to have anything but, Jello, carnation instant breakfasts, broths and cream of wheat. My restrictions suck, but I'm doing very good. Lost almost 6lbs already. The band only works if you follow your dr's instructions. I'd only be sabotaginging myself if I started off this early in the game allowing holidays and others opinions get me off course. I'm on a mission. If I can't do it forth July 4th holiday weekend I won't be able to long term either. Sticking to my guns. But I will tell my daughter she's the selfish one.

You are most definitely not wrong. And, while your daughter is an adult, I think that it is never too late to teach her the value of thinking of others before herself. It sounds to me like she is either extremely selfish or jealous. Is she heavy? Could it be that there is an aspect of jealousy behind her behavior?

I agree with you. There is always next year. Plus it sounds like there are more issues. Everyone always wants to eat at our house and we end up spending a fortune on food, really. Yet they never invite us to eat at their houses or if they do they don't put a lot of effort into it. I'm glad people like to come to our home and like the things we fix but damn! Have a good holiday. Go see some fireworks or go see a movie if you can deal with the popcorn smell. That's what I'm gonna do.

I agree, I think you're being totally reasonable. In fact, I think you're being generous by allowing everyone to come over and asking that they bring the food they want to eat; I don't see anything wrong with that at all! I think that's a great compromise. Happy 4th of July!!