So when i was in for my first fill last week, I had a lady that had the procedure done the same day say a comment to me that I wasnt sure how to take.

My surgeon does the post op class for "how to understand fill process" on the 6 week mark and all the people that had the procedure done that day comes in to the class and then goes and has thier fill done right afterwards. There were 4 of us that was banded on 4/14. So I have met these people twice in the last month and 1/2. Both at classes. This one lady is kinda big and walks with a cane. But I could tell that she has done well and she seems to be moving around better than she did the last time I saw her.

Well we got to talking a little bit before the class and then again right after our fills were done as we sat next to each other while we were sipping on our waters. We talked about how the fills went and all that. Then she said "not to be mean, but why did you have the procedure done, you dont even look overweight"

I wasnt quite sure how to respond. I just said that I definately needed it done and that I was happy that I had done it. My bmi was 37, which makes me severely obese. I would say this lady is probably under morbid obese. I kinda switched the subject after that to something else.

Im just wondering if this is the norm on how people feel about someone that is not over 40 bmi having the procedure done. I hope I am not opening up a big can of worms asking this question. Either way, would not bother me because I am so glad that I did it. When she said it, I almost wanted to say "well why didnt you get the bypass done" But I didnt think that would be nice at all to say and I am not a person that would hurt someone just to hurt them. It is up to her what procedure she wanted to have done, just like it was up to me on having this procedure done. That was just a quick thing that went through my mind when I was trying to decide if I was offended or not by her comment.

Anyway, was just thinking about it and was curious if anyone has had a comment like this before.

LVG...OHMYGOODNESS...Thanks for that laugh!!!! That was great. (Love your reply to the anesthesiologist...)

I love what you wrote about all the benefits of having the surgery. While I have a BMI over 40, I have been able to camoflague my weight pretty good over the years. I wore skirts and dresses most of the time and that would hide the huge thighs, but not the "behind", my breasts aren't that big so I was always just considered more bottom heavy than top heavy. I had a very obese woman say the same thing to me. She had the gastric sleeve done and she had lost a lot of weight, but still looked to be about 350-400 lbs. So I guess to her she thought I could lose it on my own. I don't know everyone has an opinion. I wouldnt be offended, I would take it as a compliment that you hide the weight well. And like you, I so want to be around for my grandkids graduations, marriages and great grand children, and at this weight and these co-morbidities, i probably would not.

K

I had a similar experience, but kinda on the flip side. I'm 5'2" ona good day and started this at 297 pounds. So, my BMI was well over 50. I consider myself REALLy fat. Am starting to have health issues from it. Well, we all know that story. But, my BMI wa sonc ein the 30's....and see where I got...

Anyway, I work at a major hospital with a lot of other women. Come to find out there's several who ar ebanded or who have had bypass. One night one of each grabbed me fromt he hall, took me to the staff lounge, and sat me down for what they actually called an INTERVENTION to opt out of lap band and into bypass. They basically suggested I was too fat for lapband and needed the more drastic bypass. It really hurt my feelings.

My reasons for going with the band I'm sure are so similar to everyone else on here. I know it'll be a struggle to get to goal. But, I want to take that on. I am taking that on. They may not have met their goal and one converted to bypass after her band...but I am me, I am really fat, and I CAN DO THIS.

As overweight people of all BMIs, and of all surgical procedures, we need to support each other. I'm hoping the other patient didn't mean anything bad and just chose to speak poorly. * hugs *

Hi Marcy:

May I ask why you were denied the first time and what you had to do to get approved? Thanks. Insurance is going to be submitted tomorrow and I have some concerns.

K

I had something similar happen. The day after my surgery, I was admitted into the hospital for a few days with some gnarly post-operative nausea. My BMI was probably 41 at the time and my nurse said "you don't look like you needed this surgery". Sure, she probably was trying to be nice or something, but I had just paid $10k, went through the surgery, and was suffering in the hospital because of it, and here this nurse was telling me it was all unneeded? Granted, I was pretty worn out, sick and bitchy at the time, but the question kinda ticked me off.

I replied that I had the surgery because of my ankle (It's just about ready to be fused), but I had been seriously thinking about this surgery for about two years before my ankle issues came about. I wanted the surgery because I felt horrible about myself. I have endured decades of feeling horrible about myself, and it has only gotten worse and worse. I didn't want my BMI any higher.

I worked for 2 years to get my surgery..and in that time, I dieted, I exercised, I worked my butt off..all for the love of myself..

and in that time, I only told a FEW people what I was doing..

and in the end, 2 were super supportive..

and 1 keeps me going with telling me how great I look..

and the one person who had the surgery before me..and got an erosion..and has now gained back her 100 lbs lost..

is my worst supporter..

I have tried everything to get her moving and back into being motivated..

and I find myself floundering..

so no more..

I am my biggest supporter..

GO ME! it's not about others..

it's only about you..own it and embrace it..

You know I confided in a couple of people about 2 years ago when I was thinking of having the band and they poo-pooed it saying I wasn't big enough, etc. So I thought maybe I wasn't. So then I gained another 20lbs. Ugh. Unintentionally...but even before that I knew I was on the path to heavier and heavier. It wasn't that I didn't have faith that I could lose 30 or maybe even 50 lbs on weight watchers...but I knew I couldn't lose all the weight..and for damn sure I knew I couldn't keep it off long-term.

So I got the band and loving it and wishing I HAD done it years before.

I am one of the smaller patients in my doctor's waiting room and I'm going to the group support for the first time on the 1st of June. Most of his patients did bypass, I think...I'm hoping enough did lapband so that I have some buddies to chat with.

I'm just under 5 feet so my weight wasn't the number..it was the bmi and the early stage diabetes and my knees killing me on the stairs..it was my chins and my constant exhaustion...it was not wanting to do much socially because I was embarassed...it was getting depressed...it was hiding out from life. That's why I did it

This is a journey to self, I think. I think it's a journey to who we really are. And only we can see that.

hugs to you warm and friendly bandsters.

Bandedkitten

I got the same comment from a nurse on my surgery day!

I got my gown on and laid up on the bed and while she was asking me my birth day and other questions she says..."Your not even big enough for this surgery" I was like um well I have high blood pressure, cholestrol, sleep apnea, etc...

I generally hold my wieght well...and maybe it was because i'm a guy? who knows...

Same here bmi 33 5 feet 7 1/2 and I hide it well. I was considered obese and a self pay but I tell very few because by whatever their standard are I shouldn't do wls. I am over it I know my struggles and my doctor absolutely supported my decision. Don't give it much thought. Feel good about your decision and nothing else matters.

I would be flattered. If this person is very large like you described, she is probably dreaming of looking like you. Take it like a compliment