^{Having moved over seas, I have new friends here. I consider them good friends but they dont know about my life long battle w/ my weight. I dont want to tell them about the lapband until sometime after surgery. It is not a "none of your biz thing." I just dont want to go into detail at this point. I needto tell them I am having a procedure. Because I will miss karate for 2 weeks & will need help with school pic up. What do I say if they pry?}

"I'm having an elective procedure that will put me out of commission for a while. At this point, I'm really not comfortable discussing it. Just know that I'll be fine and will tell you all about it when I feel more comfortable. In the mean time, I could really use your help with________________. Thank you so much for understanding."

Good Luck.

I would just tell them. If they are really your friends they will support you.

Tell them you're having a hernia repaired.

Cyst removal is a good one too.....

I have been telling people im going to have fibroids removed. Co workers at work I mean.

"I'm having an elective procedure that will put me out of commission for a while. At this point, I'm really not comfortable discussing it. Just know that I'll be fine and will tell you all about it when I feel more comfortable. In the mean time, I could really use your help with________________. Thank you so much for understanding."

Good Luck.

Wow, this is really good. Thank you!!!!

Thank you for all your suggestions. These are really helpful.

I told people I was having gallbladder surgery.

I met my boyfriend mid process... a perfect situation where I might want to hide what I was doing... But this is how I looked at it.. and the outcome, take it as you will. I was completely honest and upfront about my procedure, where I was in the process and why I was having the surgery. Just as I have been with EVERYONE I expected support from or wanted support from.

I feel that I have spent so much of my life lying to myself about my weight issue, that it was time to make a WHOLE LIFE change.. be honest and upfront, and most of all be proud that I was making a change to better myself.

My boyfriend (aside from my best friend and mother) has been my biggest support person, taking time off from work, offering to help with anything I might need. Telling me how PROUD he is that I am doing this for myself, and my daughter, and even making some changes in his own habits.

These women your expecting to jump in and help deserve honesty.. think about how betrayed they might feel in 3 months when you come clean? This is just my take on it, be open and honest and your going to get more long term solid support than if you hide and lie.

Good Luck to you!

Excellent! Thanks!

Mike

"I'm having an elective procedure that will put me out of commission for a while. At this point, I'm really not comfortable discussing it. Just know that I'll be fine and will tell you all about it when I feel more comfortable. In the mean time, I could really use your help with________________. Thank you so much for understanding."

Good Luck.

I vote for hernia repair - they do that a lot while doing the surgery anyway. You've got enough to worry about without having the burden of needing to explain yourself to everyone. Good luck!

i went with hernia repair....that's my story, and i'm sticking to it.

<br />I met my boyfriend mid process... a perfect situation where I might want to hide what I was doing... But this is how I looked at it.. and the outcome, take it as you will. I was completely honest and upfront about my procedure, where I was in the process and why I was having the surgery. Just as I have been with EVERYONE I expected support from or wanted support from. <br /><br />I feel that I have spent so much of my life lying to myself about my weight issue, that it was time to make a WHOLE LIFE change.. be honest and upfront, and most of all be proud that I was making a change to better myself.<br /><br />My boyfriend (aside from my best friend and mother) has been my biggest support person, taking time off from work, offering to help with anything I might need. Telling me how PROUD he is that I am doing this for myself, and my daughter, and even making some changes in his own habits.<br /><br />These women your expecting to jump in and help deserve honesty.. think about how betrayed they might feel in 3 months when you come clean? This is just my take on it, be open and honest and your going to get more long term solid support than if you hide and lie.<br /><br />Good Luck to you!<br /><br /><br />

<br /><br /><br />

Thanks for responding. I have no intention of lying about the surgery. I just dont want to say what it is at this point. I plan to tell them I am having a procedure. One friend will probably ask what type of surgery. I just want to just say I am having a procedure without going into detail at this point. But, they are my friends and I have not intention of lying. If she presses, I will just tell her I dont want to talk about it now. Sometime after the surgery, I will feel more comfortable telling people. Again, thanks!!!!

Vu

Thank you all for your responses. I am not going to lie about it. I just dont want to talk about it at this point. I do plan on dealing with the shame of it all. I have always been embarrased by my weight. And, having done a partial 12 step program, I know the shame often keeps me in the vicious cycle of overeating and self loathing. So, I do plan on addressing this issue in a big way after the surgery. A friend of mine is a photojournalist and she wants to document my surgery and subsequent weight loss and possibly sell the feature to a national or international South African magazine, which means it may end up in a US mag as well. We are just waiting to find out what, if any, of the surgery, the doctor is willing to let her film. So, we shall see!!!! Again, thanks and best wishes to all of you and I will keep you posted.