I am worried that I am going to go out with a friend for dinner or something and I will be eating so little they will ask me why I am not eating. How do you all deal with this? My birthday is next week and I have to keep coming up with excuses to not meet people for lunch or let them take me out. I never want to tell my friends. Only my husband and mother. I am intensely private when it comes to my weight and I don't want anyone looking at me differently. How do you hide eating so little?

Other than family and two colleagues, one who's banded and the other who's considering it, I haven't told anyone. I go out for lunch alot at work and I order soup. If anyone comments that I'm not eating much, I simply tell them that I've decided to try and get my weight under control. No one seems to find this unusual, nor should they considering how common obesity is. They see me as being on a diet and I feel no need to tell them about the band,

I've told pretty much everyone.

I don't feel weird eating less.... I just don't eat all the bread, and an appetizer, and a salad, and dessert, and a soda etc etc. I don't feel like I eat little nibbles.. I eat a good cup or so of food, I don't think it looks like I eat special.

Oh but I see you were just banded... if anything just order soup an say you aren't that hungry. Or just tell em! None of my friends or family seemed to care, and I feel like it's your own built in will power, cause if everyone knows you won't cheat as much cause you know they are watching!

For now, if you don't want to tell them, then don't.

When it comes to eating, pick something that you know will go down( for safety) so you don't get stuck. Ask the waitress for a box or take out bag when you order. If they ask it's your reasons as to why... Eat sensibly, and take the remainder home.

Or if your husband or sister or mom is going with you too! Ask them if they would like to split something on the menu. I do that quite often.

Have a HAPPY BIRTHDAY ! ! !

Something to keep in mind when eating in a group. You need to be very aware of chewing and swallowing. When in a group we tend to get involved in conversation, and our mothers always told us not to speak with our mouths full. There is a tendency to swallow a large chunk of food to say something.

I've gotten food stuck this way on more than one occasion. So, cut the food up very small. If food gets stuck and you start to slime, it is very hard to explain that away.

I went out to eat with a group of people, I only knew 3 of them and only 1 knew I had surgery. No one said anything. Also at work people have noticed my weight loss and I've just said I'm watching what I eat and working out

Even with my big blabbing mouth telling too many people, I found eating out or at a party very stressful. Not from a questions point of view, but worrying constantly about what would be there to eat. Now I check menus on line and make a decision or have an idea about what to order beforehand. A party is different b/c the food is not known. I keep a can of soup in my car or something else I can manage OK. If anyone asks, I stick to the "diet" story. My downfall is chips and cheese and crackers stuff at parties. The meals I can manage, but the snacks kill me......Even after 1 year out I battle this a lot.

I had my surgery December 2010 and have lost 70 lbs...I chose not to tell anyone but my husband and two daughters. By now, of course people notice and I tell them Ive lost around 45 lbs...when they ask and its taken me over a year. I say that 'Ive cut out bread, Snacks and try to eat soup for one meal a day. No one ever questions me...they just noticed that I eat alot different. I want to lose a total of 100 lbs and at that time ..will probabally tell people Ive lost a little over 60 lbs..that way they really dont think its abnormal that Ive lost that much over that period of time...The reason I chose Lapband ..is its slower and less noticeable to people because you do lose alot slower than gastic bypass...I don't think you could ever hide that you've had that surgery, because the lost is too quick. I chose not to tell people because I dont want them to watch me, and judge what I eat..to me..its a very personal decision. I feel what people decide to tell others is their own decision and they should do what is right for them.

Poppyred

Living in Indonesia as I do eating out is a must - a social pastime enjoyed with family and friends at a moments notice - sometimes 3 or 4 times each week

All of my friends know I have been banded and are fully supportive - so much so that when dining out it becomes a game to find the most appropriate meal for me

Most menu items and ingredients are listed in Bahasa Indonesia - not English - and it can be very tricky to determine what is best so I welcome their input to my ever decreasing waistline and improving health

Everyone has an opinion based on their knowledge of what my dietitian has prescribed and what is on the menu and friendly arguments are the norm. Too many carbs says one - not enough Protein says another - No No No - that will get stuck says a third

So Bon Apetit ! and enjoy your life as a bandit without a care of what others will think - if they love you then they will support you

I have gone into the restaurants where I live with my husband, and shown them my Bariatric Card. Had them read it so they understand it, then ordered my meal the way I want it.

Now when I go out with friends, the waitress already knows the situation, so I order what I want, the way I want it, and at a discounted price. SO !

Show your card and save ! ! !

I don't think I could've not told.....as oftentimes when I am eating out I have had trouble with getting stuck....so if you are going to hide it be careful what you eat! Stick to things that you know are safe - chili, soup, stuff like that I know I never will have trouble with....steak, chicken, hamburger patties I know I can have trouble with! Nothing is worse than having to go to the bathroom to burp up some stuck food...especially if you are trying to hide it. I understand why you want to hide it - many do!

Kim