So, those of you who have been following the other thread ("My kids just don't like vegetables!") will know that it's now been locked. A disagreement arose there between two posters, one expressing her difficulties broadening the diet of her naturally picky-eater and the other responding that the concept of picky-eaters is a myth and that the child's attitude is the fault of the parent. As a side note, the poster with the picky-eater was nice enough to offer an apology to the entire thread for the ensuing argument. Now, I don't believe that she actually owes anyone an apology, not least because of the fact that these threads belong to all of us (not only the thread-starter). However, this is a new thread about a connected topic. This isn't meant to be a thread for the continuation of the personal quarrel between the two posters. If anyone would like to respond, please try to refrain from bringing up the subject of who was right and wrong in the previous dispute, who behaved poorly, who owes whom an apology etc. Anyone eager to share their opinions on those matters is welcome to leave comments on my profile page, or to begin a private conversation with others concerned. This thread is solely for a discussion of philosophical differences in the approach to feeding children healthy foods.

Bandsters, we all are trying to change our own approach to food for the better. Those bandsters with children are also faced with the exhausting task of changing their family's dietary habits as well.

The topic of this thread is: should parents physically or emotionally force their children to eat healthy foods? I don't mean to ask whether parents even have the right to try to influence their children in healthy-eating. I believe that they do have a natural authority over their children, for the children's own good. It is the parent's concern when a child is doing something wrong and it is their place to attempt to correct the child's detrimental behaviour (or do you disagree?). I doubt that most of us will disagree with that. Where our opinions may diverge is to what extent this authority exists and what strategies overstep the bounds of this authority.

Those of you who've read the previous thread will know that I believe that bandsters, while avoiding unhealthy foods for themselves, are wrong to continue to purchase bad foods for their children (soda, pop-tarts, fruit-loops, kool-aid, chicken nuggets, white bread etc). "If it's not healthy for you, it's not healthy for them!" I also believe that most, but not all, of the North American children who hate veggies and fruit do so because their own parents have negative attitudes toward healthy foods.

But what do you do about the naturally picky-eater? Or is there even such a thing? What if your child refused to even try new foods? Some follow that parents should force the child to sit at the dinner table until they've finished their food. Others argue that parents should respect at least a limited sense of a child's own autonomy and that it's wrong to force the child, physically or emotionally, to eat even a single bite of broccoli when it's against their will. Some will say that picky-eaters only exist because parents allow children free-reign over what they eat or make too many alternatives available to their child. Others will respond that a parent has no choice but to offer alternatives lest their child starves, and that, in fact, there is such a thing as the naturally picky-eater. Further, they argue that even if they could force their children to eat certain foods, these actions would only upset the child and, thereby, contribute to a negative psychological association with healthy foods in the child's mind. Also, is your strategy of broadening your child's diet immediate or gradual? In other words, do you try to introduce veggies and fruit over time, or do you expect that the child try at least a bite or all of each new food the first time that you offer it?

You don't need to answer all of the posed questions or address all issues mentioned. You can even pose relevant questions of your own and bring up issues related to the topic that I haven't even considered. This is just to get the ball rolling, whatever the direction it ends up taking. Everyone has their own perspective on the topic and I'm looking forward to hearing it. Don't be afraid to express an unpopular opinion; we don't have to agree with each other (that'd be too boring!). It may be difficult at times, but let's try to share our views with civility.

I was giving you the benefit of the doubt (obviously an error on my part) that you recognize that *your* way isn't the only right way. We'll let it go at that.

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Okay! Now I get it. Different strokes for different folks, yes I agree with you on that. Sorry, I'm a little slow on the uptake at times. I thought you meant we agreed about method and that didn't make any sense at all!

You guys make me smile!!

Cheri

I am a mother of 4 and I have found how true it is that our kids are all different.

My first two are a year and a week a part and I was very conscious of what a nutritionist once told me in not forcing them to finish their food and not making dessert a reward.

Then 3 years later came the third. He is the tricky one. Because I was pregnant my kids nutrition really suffered! Whatever was quick and easy is what we ate!

After my last pregnancy I realized what I had done and I have been paying for it ever since.

I do not believe that every child is different and what works for one parent may not work for another.

But what works for our family is that I cook completely healthy now if at all possible. This can even be an issue with my husband who is red meat man!~

I make sure they get veggies and fruits everyday and even if its a veggie I do not like I will a tleast eat a bite. I do not force my children to stay at the table when they say they do not want to eat but I do not allow them to eat in between meals if they do not finish their food. We do not eat dessert all the time but when we do they must have made an effort at dinner ( only because the 3 only wants dessert)

As for forcing my children to eat healthy my oldest 2 have always eaten salad and fruit and they love it but I have never and I mean never cooked a separate meal for my children! They either eat what they are given or nothing!

My children take after my husband and have metabolisms the size of Texas! HA But I think it is our responsibility as parents to teach our children to eat right. This is why we as a society have grown to being obese and our children have suffered.

As stated by another poster it is hard to not eat on the go. We live on the go and thankfully I do not work anymore but it is still hard. The one thing to remember is there are more healthy choices even at fast food places.

Okay! Now I get it. Different strokes for different folks, yes I agree with you on that. Sorry, I'm a little slow on the uptake at times. I thought you meant we agreed about method and that didn't make any sense at all!

Forgive my previous (in error thing) surly remark. I was having a bad day.