Happy New Year bandsters! A new thread start for a new year?

For those struggling, this is a great time to recommit!

Melody

Hi Everyone!!

Ok, DH's family is whacked! His sister dragged his mother to the casino today. After DH told the sister that doc said its a bad idea for her to go anywhere right now, she takes her to a germ infested smoke stack. Whatever!

We booked a two week cruise to Hawaii. DH is done. No more fighting with them. No more trying to make them see through their denial. Drag her around the world, put her on a ventilator to keep her alive. Live off her social security. Enjoy.

We'll have friends house and dog sit and we are outta here! We got a great deal, and couldn't pass it up. Mini-suite, here we come!! We leave in a couple of weeks.

Denise,

Is it possible that your mil really isn't as ill as she says she is? I have a 70 year old aunt who's been at death's door several times and was even had hospice nurses coming out...which didn't seem to stop her from going out to country bars and line dancing, traveling all around the country with her sisters...or taking enough medications to kill a stable of horses.

My .02...you and your husband have tried to be the voice of reason but as long as she's going to allow herself to be influenced by the daughters, you can walk away with a clear conscience...unless she's gotten to the point where she really is mentally incompetent and is being led astray. Only you know best on that score.

A cruise to Hawaii? Wow...the Hawaii part sounds nice, but cruise? No thanks. Not enough Dramamine in the world.

.

Amazing...just truly freaking amazing. I have been in such a blah mood this last week, not wanting to do anything...even eat. My calories were ranging from 800-1000 (vs the 1200 I usually have) and mostly in protein shakes...AND I GAINED 3 LBS!!

I know that I was eating 3000-4000 calories a day to maintain a weight of 260 lbs...so this just boggles the mind. I'm going back to bed and I may not get out until spring.

.

Denise,

Enjoy that Hawaiian cruise!!

Deb

Hi Elfie, I truly believe she is feeling very poorly. Her kidneys are failing and she is not making red blood cells. Week before last when she was admitted her hemoglobin was 8.5. Normal should be minimum of 12. Even with 2 units of whole blood they could only get her to 11. She is retaining over 20 lbs of Fluid.

After her appt on Friday, DH took her to the medical supply store to look at lift-chair recliners (Doc is on board with her getting one of those). She wasn't interested in getting out of the car, especially after she heard the price ($600-700). This is not a destitute woman. She can afford that without breaking the bank. She is not rich, by a long shot, but deserves to be comfortable. But her daughter can drag her to the casino!

Oh oh oh...get this! Same sister doesn't want to take her to the doctor because her car is too small and Mom prefers to ride in our car...oh? But you can drive her to the freakin' casino 30 minutes away????????

Taking her to the doctor stresses my DH to no end. He worries that she will fall and break a hip. Worries that she will get a germ to land her with pneumonia again. Worries that it is too taxing on her limited energy. Add to that, anything medical freaks him out, and the day is just shot for him. He doesn't need to be involved in that when the sisters hold more influence over her decisions.

I don't believe she is incompetent. And, really, when it comes to the end of HER life, who are we to say the sisters are wrong. My problem is that Mom doesn't make any decisions. She does the deer in the headlights and lets everyone else make them. So, seeing as the two sisters want to do everything to keep her alive, at whatever expense, it is 2 to 1. The 4th sibling has removed himself from the drama by moving to Las Vegas (smart man!). We have decided to remove ourselves from the equation as well.

There are the two sisters, 1 son-in-law, 4 adult grand children, 3 grand children-in-law all in the local area. So, us being gone for two weeks is not abandoning someone in their time of need.

Ok, rant over..thanks for listening.....er, reading

Elfie..is your period coming?? Are you preggers?? It is probably just a temporary readjustment in fluid levels. Sort of like changing your oil in your car. Drain 12 quarts, you weigh less. Filler back up and you weigh more.

Denise,

Well on the bright side. If your mom really is doing that poorly and her daughters keep dragging her around, she won't suffer long. This is not the type of behavior that will keep her around.

Feel free to rant. Sometimes it feels good just to get it off our chest and keeps us from going to the person causing it and slapping some sense into them...if only that was possible, eh?

Oh...and NO I'M NOT PREGNANT! Bite your tongue! I turn 55 in June and I'm soooo ready for another baby or two or three but I'd rather they were grandkids, thank you very much! No period either. Haven't had one since I got pregnant 19 years ago.

I'm just ready take a vacation from the whole weight loss thing and just keep focusing on the blood sugar levels because that's really why I got the band in the first place and at that I've been successful since I no longer take insulin and am controlled with diet alone. I'm just so tired of focusing on weight loss with so little result. Yeah, I know, a pound a week is nothing to sneeze at, but it just seems to take so much effort and I'm tired.

Eh...just ignore me. This is probably my February blahs.

.

Denise,

Well on the bright side. If your mom really is doing that poorly and her daughters keep dragging her around, she won't suffer long. This is not the type of behavior that will keep her around.

Feel free to rant. Sometimes it feels good just to get it off our chest and keeps us from going to the person causing it and slapping some sense into them...if only that was possible, eh?

Oh...and NO I'M NOT PREGNANT! Bite your tongue! I turn 55 in June and I'm soooo ready for another baby or two or three but I'd rather they were grandkids, thank you very much! No period either. Haven't had one since I got pregnant 19 years ago.

I'm just ready take a vacation from the whole weight loss thing and just keep focusing on the blood sugar levels because that's really why I got the band in the first place and at that I've been successful since I no longer take insulin and am controlled with diet alone. I'm just so tired of focusing on weight loss with so little result. Yeah, I know, a pound a week is nothing to sneeze at, but it just seems to take so much effort and I'm tired.

Eh...just ignore me. This is probably my February blahs.

.

Elfie, you will NOT be ignored! I was just trying to be helpful in my suggestion of periods and preggers. Speaking of which I hadn't had a TOM since Nov 20. Until last night. Thought maybe I was done...maybe not. Thank you very much.

Do take a break from the weight loss focus. Diabetes control is nothing to take lightly either. Keep doing what you are doing and stay away from the scale!

Oh, Happy Bandiversary to me!!! 3 years ago today!! Wow, so many changes. We are going out to lunch to Celebrate. That somehow seems wrong to do a food celebration of my band! tee hee!

DH and sister talked for a bit yesterday. Sister cannot accept that Mom is in final stages of life because her brain is still sharp. Ok, denial is not just a river in Egypt. But who are we to say what is right or wrong. The doctor did say that without the hospice type of program Mom will be in and out of the hospital with one crisis or another. Mom has stated she does not want that, but I don't believe she understands what she is choosing by turning down the hospice program--Doc told her that it will be done in the home with priority on symptoms and comfort. However, Mom has decided to do what the sisters want, and we have to graciously accept that. The sisters will just have to understand that we will not be a party to it. DH told sister #1 that we will be out of town for two weeks. She did not ask why-probably assuming it is for my work, as that is usually what takes us away. He left it at that.

So, now she will see another round of specialists. Hematologists and nephrologists (sp?). More poking and prodding. More trips out of the house to doctors. Good times!

Hi all

I was banded on 1/18/11 - i've lost about 18 pounds - and I lost it all WEEK ONE and not one pound after!

I'm bummed because I feel like I'm "failing" --- here's why: I'm starving! I can't eat just about anything! I have zero restriction and I have that "always hungry" feeling - I start each day saying I'm going to do the right thing and fall off somewhere after lunch or on a good day - closer to dinner! Sounds like life BEFORE LapBand --- well that's the problem - I had my heart set on not being like that ever again - that horrible guilt dieting and scale obsession. I ended up hiding the scale downstairs though

I have to wonder if I did any damage to my band by eating whole foods at 3 weeks - and eating more than I should. I KNOW that I shouldn't have but I did.....so now what?

I keep saying I'll start exercising this week but haven't yet - I use to work out all the time (a couple years ago) so I know once you start you really get into it but I can't seem to get STARTED.

I believe I'm doing what I've always done because I presently feel like I've always felt

Anyone know of something magical to say? lol Cause I'd really appreciate a little help

MEANT TO SAY "CAN" EAT ANYTHING I WANT

Hi all

I was banded on 1/18/11 - i've lost about 18 pounds - and I lost it all WEEK ONE and not one pound after!

I'm bummed because I feel like I'm "failing" --- here's why: I'm starving! I can't eat just about anything! I have zero restriction and I have that "always hungry" feeling - I start each day saying I'm going to do the right thing and fall off somewhere after lunch or on a good day - closer to dinner! Sounds like life BEFORE LapBand --- well that's the problem - I had my heart set on not being like that ever again - that horrible guilt dieting and scale obsession. I ended up hiding the scale downstairs though

I have to wonder if I did any damage to my band by eating whole foods at 3 weeks - and eating more than I should. I KNOW that I shouldn't have but I did.....so now what?

I keep saying I'll start exercising this week but haven't yet - I use to work out all the time (a couple years ago) so I know once you start you really get into it but I can't seem to get STARTED.

I believe I'm doing what I've always done because I presently feel like I've always felt

Anyone know of something magical to say? lol Cause I'd really appreciate a little help

Hi all

I was banded on 1/18/11 - i've lost about 18 pounds - and I lost it all WEEK ONE and not one pound after!

I'm bummed because I feel like I'm "failing" --- here's why: I'm starving! I can't eat just about anything! I have zero restriction and I have that "always hungry" feeling - I start each day saying I'm going to do the right thing and fall off somewhere after lunch or on a good day - closer to dinner! Sounds like life BEFORE LapBand --- well that's the problem - I had my heart set on not being like that ever again - that horrible guilt dieting and scale obsession. I ended up hiding the scale downstairs though

I have to wonder if I did any damage to my band by eating whole foods at 3 weeks - and eating more than I should. I KNOW that I shouldn't have but I did.....so now what?

I keep saying I'll start exercising this week but haven't yet - I use to work out all the time (a couple years ago) so I know once you start you really get into it but I can't seem to get STARTED.

I believe I'm doing what I've always done because I presently feel like I've always felt

Anyone know of something magical to say? lol Cause I'd really appreciate a little help

I do not have a magical bullet but I can tell you what is typical that may at least make you feel not alone. First of all if you are like most of us, our band was placed empty--any restriction you had is from swelling--when the swelling is gone--hunger because the band is not doing anything. This time until your first fill is bandster hell because you have to eat like you have a full band, but you don't. The band is not doing anything now.

Secondly, by my third week--I lost no weight. I did not lose again until I started solids. Your body is healing--you may fine you gain weight from post surgery fluids. Losing weight during this time is plus and not really an expectation--it is all about healing and learning your new band. I am not a big journaler, but it was the only way during that time that I could ensure I was eating the right things and plannning.

Hope this helps.

Renee, welcome to the thread! You are not even a month out. Don't panic!! I didn't start losing until my second fill. Until you get to good restriction, you are relying on the old-fashioned form of dieting that got us to needing a band in the first place.

I was back on a regular diet by three weeks, but if you are not supposed to be, get back on track! Immediate post-op is for healing. It's tough, cause you're hungry.

Also, what Shad said!

Did anyone else's content disappear?????? Crazy site.

Denise: Congrats on the 3 years and how well you're doing!

Renee: My doctor had me back on solids at 2 weeks so I doubt you did your band any harm...and I'll just ditto what Shammah said. Hang in there, once you get to your sweet spot, the hunger goes away. Do yourself a favor though. Think of restriction as a cessation of hunger. Don't look for the band to physically restrict how much you can eat...doesn't work that way for most of us. Many people end up overfilled and deal with constant stuck and urping episodes because they're too full. Not good for the band.

.

And, like clockwork, two weeks following my fill I'm so tight I can't even eat solid foods. Since Tuesday afternoon I've mainly been eating Protein drinks with the occasional yogurt. Then yesterday I forgot I was tight, took a gulp of Water and it immediately rebounded up and out my nostrils and mouth. Fortunately I was not out in public.

My husband and my son's wife just left to drive 12 hrs to DC where my son is staying at Walter Reed hospital. I wish I could have gone but the arthritis in my hip would just make me miserable on such a long drive. Oh well, 4 days of just *me* will be lovely.

.

I know I have been MIA. My whole life is now school. Luckily I am doing very well, but yeah work and school. I'll pop on FB every now and then. I have been a horrible bandster and have not exercised (not even once) in over a month and eaten horribly......and somehow lost 3lbs . I don't expect it to last lol. I am home from work today because my gallbladder has flared yet again. They found out that I am full of stones. I suppose I will get the darn thing removed. I'm a little scared to make that decision, but trust me this pain is killer. The narcotic painkillers aren't even helping all that much. It's just you know no one WANTS to have surgery. That's really all that is new with me. I work and do schoolwork. I'm getting all A's and I am tired and worn out. I don't exercise and sometimes eat like crap, but I haven't gained weight. I got a fill last week and was told that no my current lifestyle is not great, but if I didn't lose another pound they were happy with my loss because I am now only overweight and the major health problems normally occur with obese or morbidly obese. I still want to be "normal" (hehehe I'll never be normal ), but I do agree that not everyone is meant to be 120lbs. I do miss you all and wish I had more time.

Melody-I think you can get those lbs off before the wedding...just remember not to beat yourself up if you don't. You gave it your all.

Denise-life does sound like a soap opera! Kudos for not turning to food

Renee-The majority of my weight loss occured months after my surgery. Yes I dropped weight immediatly, but once I was allowed to move to mushies, I GAINED WEIGHT! It all came back off and then some. I know it's hard to stay positive, but your restriction isn't where it should be. You've been starving your body with liquids and as soon as it gets some real food (if it was like mine), it wants to hold on to that fat. Once it realizes that you aren't going to keep starving it, it will start to let go. Remember, we chose the band and our weightloss is not going to be as dramatic as bypass, but will be gradual and if you look at the numbers in the long run we average out because bypass will gain some back. Just try to keep it up and have faith that it will work. I was also told that it does take a lot to stretch your pouch. Repeated (like longer than you've been banded) overeating and throwing up or too much restriction not letting food pass quickly enough into the lower stomach. Even if you do, sometimes it can be fixed. I had either a slip or esophageal dilatation (my pouch was so big they didn't know which it was because it was covering up the band!). They drained my band for 6 weeks in an effort to save me from surgery. It worked! They won't ever fill me back up to the 7.2cc's I was at, but I am now at 6cc's and able to eat more than I should, but it lasts for 4hrs or longer...so I am in a good place.

Speaking of all this...since I have no time and have been bad, I am no longer a scale whore at least! I am really going to try to post/read more often. I missed you all! -Stacie

Stacie, I was just thinking of you on my drive into work today. Good to see you!

Yes, my life is a true soap opera right now! A friend said I should write a book about the shenanigans of family on the way to Hawaii.

So DH last night -- while I was eating my dinner (we were having pork chops, so I was eating slowly) says, what are you doing? Eating each pea one at a time? Damn, it's taking you forever?!?!?

Uhmmmm......you know I have to eat slowly. You know when I eat drier meats I eat even MORE slowly. I got started eating a tad late because like a dork I had forgotten I started a load of laundry after work and needed to get it into the dryer. And YOU ARE BEING A JERK!!!

Ok, none of which I said, because I am being a supportive wife. But I really did want to smack him. Instead I tossed what was left on my plate, did the dishes, put away the laundry, and went to bed. The weenie.