I'm getting banded next Wednesday (YES, the day before Thanksgiving!) and the only person I've told is my boyfriend, and only him because he's my ride. I will have to get up Thanksgiving day and cook a big meal for my two teenage children. Think I can pull it off? Why the privacy? My kids would freak about my having an "elective" surgery, and I don't want my daughter to get the wrong idea about body image. I guess I'm doing this for me, and I don't want any opinions from the peanut gallery.

I was really good the day after the surgery but no way could I have cooked Thanksgiving dinner. I highly recommend getting one of those "catered meals" from the grocery store. You will need to make your order soon though.

As for your reasons for not telling your children I see your point. I do not however agree. The body image thing was something I worried about with my 13 year old neice. She has clearly seen both my and my sisters' struggle with weight. Though my sister has never been as overweight as me. Luckily my neice took after he maternal grandmother and will be tall and thin. I had no intention of having this be something that everone in the family knew about and she did'nt.

I don't know your children but teenagers are a lot smarter than perhaps we like to think. When you start to loose weight could they worry that you are sick or perhaps dying and not telling them? Not to sound alarmist but if my mother suddenly lost a lot of weight I may have dreamt up all kinds of stuff.

When I was a senior in college my mother decided to have a lump removed from her breast. It had been there a long time and the doctor did not think it was a problem. My mother who had lost 1 parent and 3 siblings to cancer decided it had to go. She had the procedure and did not tell any of us. Later when she told me she said she did'nt want to worry me during my exams but I was really hurt.