I did try and help this friend. I can no longer do this.

Edited October 2, 201015 yr by Laundromatlady

This sounds serious and is a definite contraindication.

If she will not listen to you, I would play "narc" and call her doctor's office. While they cannot discuss her case with you, there is no reason you cannot express your concern. She could have serious complications including malnutrition and alcohol poisoning. Don't delay.

Hi all. I do hope someone can help me.

I have a friend who is 60 years old. When she was much younger she never had any kind of weight problem. But over the past 7 years or so, due to family problems, and stress, she has gained an enormous amount of weight. The problem is she is also an alcoholic. The one time she was willing to go to re-hab her insurance would not pay. So she took that as a sign that it was okay to continue to drink.

She is scheduled to have the lap-band procedure sometime in November.

She drinks day and night until she passes out. I told her "you cannot continue to drink and have this procedure". I said "I know what is going through your mind, you think because you will be on liquids after the procedure, that you can still drink because it's a liquid"

She, at first, tried to deny it, then she started laughing. She knew I hit the nail on the head.

So here's my question. If she continues on this road, and she goes ahead and has the lap-band surgery, and she drinks afterward what will happen to her?

Can she survive this?

I really fear for her safety.

thanks much

Honey

Before she has her surgery she still has to be medically&surgically clear from her physcians,incuding a psych eval. A competant MD will pick up on the etoh abuse. It is not your place to play narc!

While an occasional alcoholic drink is permissible for most of us, we are advised that we must not drink our calories. (We are also advised to stay away from beer and carbonated soft drinks.) Because we are significantly reducing the size of our stomach it is imperative that we use that limited space for nutrient rich Proteins and veggies.

If your friend is truly an alcoholic I would strongly suggest she get help for that issue before she addresses her obesity issue. My father is an alcoholic and much of his weight can be directly attributed to the amount of beer he consumes daily.

If your friend is not ready to make the changes necessary for banding, including giving up much of her drinking, I'd recommend you speak with her surgeon. As gracierose said, they will not be able to discuss her treatment with you, but that doesn't mean you can't voice your very real concerns for your friends health.

Good luck to you and your friend. I hope she, or her surgeon, recognizes this may not be in her best interest at this time.

ETA; Since your friend already has a surgery date scheduled, I'm curious if she was completely honest about her drinking with her surgeon and therapist during their evaluations.

Edited October 1, 201015 yr by MellieW

you have to a recovering alcoholic for a year before you can get the surgery. i don't know how it is with everyone else's insurance or drs but this is the way it is with mine. if she isn't willing to take the steps to stop drinking then the band isn't going to help. you have to have self control with the band and not eat or drink. i'd def go in or call the drs office. if you call they might blow you off but if you were to go in person it might be better. but i would open my mouth. she does have to do the other tests like was mentioned so they might pick up on it. good luck

Hi all. I do hope someone can help me.

I have a friend who is 60 years old. When she was much younger she never had any kind of weight problem. But over the past 7 years or so, due to family problems, and stress, she has gained an enormous amount of weight. The problem is she is also an alcoholic. The one time she was willing to go to re-hab her insurance would not pay. So she took that as a sign that it was okay to continue to drink.

She is scheduled to have the lap-band® procedure sometime in November.

She drinks day and night until she passes out. I told her "you cannot continue to drink and have this procedure". I said "I know what is going through your mind, you think because you will be on liquids after the procedure, that you can still drink because it's a liquid"

She, at first, tried to deny it, then she started laughing. She knew I hit the nail on the head.

So here's my question. If she continues on this road, and she goes ahead and has the lap-band® surgery, and she drinks afterward what will happen to her?

Can she survive this?

I really fear for her safety.

thanks much

Honey

Hopefully the psychologist will catch this during the psych eval and refuse to recommend her. She should absolutely NOT have the lap-band while an active alcoholic.

Alcoholism is such a sad and destructive disease. Being an adult child of an alcoholic I can understand your frustration and concern for your friend. Unfortunately, without knowing who her surgeon is there is little you can do other than what you are doing.

Keep talking to her and remind her that lap band surgery will not save her life if she is determined to destroy herself with the booze.

You are a good friend for trying to help her, but I will tell you what I told my father; We can protect our loved ones from anyone and anything in this world.... except themselves. Sadly, if your friend is determined to destroy herself with drink there is little you can do to save her.

I wish you both peace and good health.

The first thing I though was that they might get in there and discover she has liver damage. If you watch the real life lap band surgeries on YouTube (no blood at all so not gross). They show you how they lift and pull away the liver to get to the stomach. If she has been drinking for a long time she could have serious liver damage. I wonder if they would stop the surgery if it is bad enough.

She is not going to tell the doctor. I have a sibling who is a recovering alcoholic and they can and will rationalize ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. I am pretty sure my doctor's office asked if I drank and if so how much.

Also if she has to do a presurgery diet that is low carb clearly that won't work becuase alcohol is all carbs.

Her surgeon MUST know of her alcoholism prior to surgery. This is potentially a matter of life and death.

My mother was not honest with her doctor prior to a surgery near the end of her life. I pulled the anesthesiologist aside and told him---it was imperative.

She still experienced delirium tremens--a minor surgery landed her in ICU because of complications due to alcohol withdrawal. Had they not known in advance, they would not have been prepared, would have wasted time trying to determine what was wrong.

Alcohol withdrawal is very dangerous--very. It needs to be carefully medically managed.

It's utterly immoral to subject a surgeon to her risks without informing him. He puts his license on the line every time he performs a procedure. Knowingly jeopardizing HIM with her actions is pretty heinous. Legal liability aside, living with the knowledge that a patient came to harm on your watch is HORRENDOUS.

What a horrible, ill-thought plan.

I was asked how much I drank on a pre=psych form and then in the Psych's office. He asked a couple different times and ways. I drink a couple times a year and he had a hard time understanding that. Makes me sweat, makes me go to sleep...not as much fun as it was in college.

About your friend. She will have to run into a wall before she will change. All this fuss over her telling her doc is pointless, though I know you care much for her. Alcoholics and other addicts are fabulous at diverting attention away from their problems and slipping out of your questions.

She will stop when she has to or wants to. Then you can offer your kind words of encouragement and hugs.

Hopping over to youtube to watch the surgeries.

Her surgeon MUST know of her alcoholism prior to surgery. This is potentially a matter of life and death.

My mother was not honest with her doctor prior to a surgery near the end of her life. I pulled the anesthesiologist aside and told him---it was imperative.

She still experienced delirium tremens--a minor surgery landed her in ICU because of complications due to alcohol withdrawal. Had they not known in advance, they would not have been prepared, would have wasted time trying to determine what was wrong.

Alcohol withdrawal is very dangerous--very. It needs to be carefully medically managed.

It's utterly immoral to subject a surgeon to her risks without informing him. He puts his license on the line every time he performs a procedure. Knowingly jeopardizing HIM with her actions is pretty heinous. Legal liability aside, living with the knowledge that a patient came to harm on your watch is HORRENDOUS.

What a horrible, ill-thought plan.

I couldn't agree with BetsyB more. I hope you can discuss this with her husband and remind him as her spouse it's his responsibility to inform her surgeon of her health risks if she won't.

It's a horrible thing to put her surgeon, and his team, at risk in this way.

Well, he may drink. But the fact of the matter is that SOMEONE has to tell her surgeon that she's an alcoholic. It's immoral not to.

If you don't think he will, call yourself. Or find the surgeon's email online and send an email. "I am very concerned about my friend, your patient Jane Doe. She has a severe alcohol addiction, and has indicated she has not shared this information with you. I am concerned about surgical risks; in particular, I am concerned that she might experience delirium tremens during the immediate postop period. I have asked her to share this information with you, and she has indicated she will not--that she did not share it during her psych evaluation, and will not comply with any preop diet/postop rules you have about drinking alcohol. I know that HIPAA prevents you from discussing this patient with anyone, but I hope that this information is received in the spirit it is intended---to protect my friend, and to protect you."

Hi. This has backfired on me. I need to delete this whole thread and I do not know how to do it. If I'm not able to do it, can all of you who responded, well, in your response, it indicates MY question about my friend. Can you please take that information off of your response? Or if any of you know how I can delete the whole thread, can you please let me know?

Much appreciated.

How has it backfired? Making the thread go away does not remove the moral imperative to let her surgeon know that he is about to operate on someone who is likely to suffer severe consequences on his watch.

You don't like the answers you received. You wanted to be told, "You're right! She shouldn't have the surgery!"

And you were.

All of us know that you can't do a thing to influence your friend. She will drink---it's what she does. You are not expected to cure her alcoholism.

But when you are in possession of important information that jeopardizes not only her, but those caring for her---and the hospital---you are morally obligated to let the appropriate people know.

Having a thread deleted will not remove that responsibility.

Actually, let me put my .02 as a mental health professional here-- it is absolutely not the original posters responsibility to do anything more than she has. I think she's said numerous times that she doesn't know who the surgeon is-- she's talked to her friend, talked to her husband, and now for her own mental health she is doing the right thing by stepping away. The number one problem of friends and families of alcoholics is assuming responsibility in situations just like this and any Al-Anon or psychologist is going to say the same. The alcoholic's behavior and the consequences of that behavior are absolutely not the poster's responsibility, but the alcoholic's responsibility.

Ultimately, the people responsible for uncovering alcoholism is the psychologist who did the psych eval and the surgeon who is doing the surgery. There are ways to discover this if you do a thorough enough eval. It is a sad situation, but brow-beating this woman who seems to have really tried in this situation seems unnecessary to me, and I say that having the utmost respect for you, BetsyB.