Hello,

I have my surgery scheduled for September 20th, 2010. Very excited about it, got approved, all tests are done. I am ready.

Then there is a problem. I started seeing a guy and it's slowly getting serious. Actually, I'm head over heels with him, he doesn't know but seems like we are moving in the right direction. On top of it, he doesn't know about my surgery and I have no idea how to bring this subject to the table. I don't want to start our relationship with lie and I feel that he has the right to know at this point. He's a very conservative person, down to earth and honest. Please advise!

How long have you known him? Are you dating exclusively? I know that it can be hard not to tell someone when the surgery is the center of your life (which mine was to me). If you are seeing each other several days a week I would probably tell him. If by slow mean you go out once every couple weeks probably not.

I think you should go ahead and tell him. If he can't accept it being the right choice for you, than he's not the right guy for you. Good Luck.

I agree, tell him now and if he backs off or reacts badly then he is not the right person for you. It is hard to beileve this when you really like someone and want things to work. My guess is that he will be happy and supportive. What guy wouldn't like their lady to be a little smaller? Good luck.

We met only about 2 months ago but things went really fast between us. We see each other every weekend, as he lives in a different city and drives 4.5 hours one way every weekend just to see me. We talk by phone every night as well. I want to tell him about the surgery, just trying to find the right words and approach, not to be too blunt.

I know this isn't the same thing as telling a boyfriend, however, I told a friend of mine today that I was banded two weeks ago. We were getting ready to take our children out to lunch and I mentioned to her that I had to tell her something. Prior to telling her, I simply asked her not to be jugdemental. I told her that over the past few years I developed significant health issues and that I was having difficulty getting them under control even under the care of doctors and medications. After a year of research and consideration, I had lapband surgery. My decision was not one of vanity or the desire to be slim but it was for my health. It has been a long road. Last year I was taking 12 pills a day for my health related conditions and I am officially taking one pill a day now. I feel the best that I have felt in a very long time.

She was absolutely excited, supportive, and very happy for me.

Hopefully your friend will feel the same.

I haven't told many people outside of my husband and my parents ... but I don't see why anyone would disapprove of your decision to improve your health. I know some DO disapprove but I don't see how it's any different than saying, "Hey Sally. Can't go out to the buffet for lunch anymore - I'm on the South Beach diet" or whatever.

I don't know. I guess it's just something I couldn't grasp someone not accepting...

So after that rant, I say that if you feel comfortable enough with the guy to wanna share this personal information, tell him. If he reacts poorly, he's ridiculous and just doesn't understand. (In my opinion!)

And congrats to you.

Thank you for all replies and support. I spoke to him tonight but conversation didn't go in this direction. I'm going to try it tomorrow and first ask his opinion about the surgery in general and then we'll see. I obviously care about the guy too much to just lay down the facts but at the same time I realize that we haven't been together long enough for him to play key role in my decision.