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Warning! When I started to write this post I thought it would be a few paragraphs. It has turned into a few pages (!!). It’s L_O_N_G! J<O:p</O:p

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Hi everyone, <O:p

This is my first post on this forum, however I must confess I have been lurking here for some time.....I have just been so busy with kids and work that I didn't feel it was fair of me to post if I couldn't be a regular contributor.<O:p</O:p

<O:p</O:pWith that said, I do feel like I have gotten to know many of you from your posts, and I wanted to share my story. And in all honesty, I need to share, and I could use support. I see that a few of you have been unbanded lately, and it's nice not to be alone.

<O:p</O:pI am now 32 years old. I struggled with my weight for a long time, up and down... up and down. At my wedding in 1999 I was down to around 70 kilo/150ish pounds and felt great. And then the weight began to come back again. In 2 short years I was up to around 99 kilo/ 218 pounds. I felt horrible, and I wasn't successful in getting pregnant after trying for over 1.5 years. In June of 2001 I got banded.

<O:p</O:pMy life changed - it was wonderful! Losing weight was not the only good thing about the band.... I loved that I felt 'full' nearly all of the time. I felt freedom from thinking about food constantly, and I felt freedom from feeling the need to eat every second of the day and night. It was great.

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Six months post-op I lost 27 kilo/ 60ish pounds. While I was far from thin, I had so much energy and just felt so good... and I loved being hunger-free. I was at the gym every day and felt so healthy. The BEST news of all though - I was pregnant!!!! Finally! I am certain it was my weight-loss and the band that got me there (in addition to my husband's help

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I really didn't gain weight during most of my pregnancy. Only the last three months after I had the band opened I gained around 4 kilo / 10ish pounds. My incredible daughter was born in July 2002.

A few months later I got a fill. This was followed by a bunch of fills and unfills over the next few months, but each time the band was still too 'tight', too 'lose'...never 'just right' like before.

<O:p</O:pThen the horrible reflux and heartburn started. I couldn't eat properly and began to gain weight. Before I could get full on healthy foods, now I was just eating whatever I could. Lettuce and salad and veggies didn't go down easily, but Cookies and ice-cream did Soups did. So this is what I ate.

<O:p</O:pIn the February of 2003 I had horrible stomach and port-area pain. I was sure there was a knife in me, and I couldn't move the pain was so intense. After a few visits to the ER and the doctor, I was admitted to the hospital and put on IV antibiotics and did a endoscope/endoscopy and a CT. Everything was fine and after 3 days on only IV / IV antibiotics I did feel better. The doctor said there could have been an infection in the port area - who knows. <O:p

Things didn't get better however. I never felt good. The heartburn was always there. I was taking huge doses of meds against acid reflux and nothing helped. In May 2003 I began waking up a few times a night coughing and vomiting in my sleep. This is the worst feeling. Like you are gagging and cannot breath. I had to sleep sitting up in my Lazy Boy chair, I couldn't think of lying down. I also had trouble swallowing and felt like there was a lump in my throat all the time. Ugh. I did lose weight at this point, but I was eating only liquids - not a way to survive. After about 4 months of hell, the vomiting in the night stopped. But I had zero energy and was exercising a lot less... and the weight came back more.

<O:p</O:pI was honestly doing everything right to make the band work - but I would go thru periods of extreme tightness where I would have to spit out my saliva in a cup (sorry to be 'graphic’), and then the band would get loose again. No way to live.

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From my journal in Feb of 2004: "I have been without a fill for about 2 months - no problems at all, so about three weeks ago I went back to the dr. and got a fill. For two weeks I was fine, and I have been eating perfectly... then boom. Last Tuesday all of a sudden my band just closed up. I ran to the bathroom just in time and vomited. This continued all last week... on Fri and Sat I got down about 1 glass of Water the entire day (and vomited about 20 times in-between)... yesterday I don't think I kept down even 1 spoonful of water.

Last night was HELL. Every time I feel asleep I would be woken up after 5 minutes chocking and coughing and vomiting... finally at 3am I went to sleep/sit on the Lazy Boy chair. No fun. To make matters worse, my husband is out of the country on business. Anyways, I am going back to dr. this afternoon. I am really thirsty... I took a super tiny sip of water about an hour ago and it put such pressure on my back that I had to vomit it up. *sigh*

I don't know what to do. Why is this happening? And I have been eating good - almost all liquid, mush foods, chewing really good and no eating and drinking together. Not fair!"

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So that was February 2004. Needless to say, I had the fill taken out. Relief. Soon after I found out I was pregnant again. I was beyond thrilled!!!! I didn't dare get another fill while I was pregnant. I gained a lot of weight (around 18 kilo / 40ish pounds) and in November 2004 I gave birth to my beautiful son (at home, which was very unplanned, but that's another story, and a wonderful one!!! <O:p

In March 2005 I had my first fill since my son was born, and the problems started again, and I had the fill taken out. And put in again. Same story.<O:p

In October I suddenly got "attacks" after I ate, that lasted around 1 - 2 hours. Extreme nausea (even after eating my baby's Gerber!) and pain that spread to my right shoulder blade and my back like a knife. I was sure it was my gallbladder as I have a few friends who had their gallbladder out and they told me attacks were like this. I did an ultrasound of the gallbladder, but everything was OK. I didn't really sleep or eat during October. I just felt bad all the time.

<O:p</O:pIn November the pain was so intense one night (and this wasn’t after eating)...it was like being in labor, but in my upper back. I went to the ER at 3am. I really didn't think it had to do anything with the band (though it was making crazy gurgling noises and I had some heartburn - so I guess I was in major denial). The doctor on duty in the ER took out my fill completely. I felt better, but that was because the "attack" passed. The next day the intense nausea continued and the back pain continued. Every time it hit my back I kept thinking 'this is more painful than having a baby'. I again went to the ER (a different one this time!), and they did a scan of the stomach/gallbladder, and said that everything was fine. I mentioned the band (this isn't a hospital that specializes in the band), but they said it wasn't connected. I went home crying.

<O:p</O:pLast week, on Sunday, November 27, along with everything else, the band suddenly got very tight. I was without a fill, so I knew this wasn't good. Monday afternoon, after a day without managing to get down water, I went back to my dr. He sent me back to the ER (again!), called to tell them I was coming, and to do an x-ray with me swallowing contrast stuff so they could see if anything was going down.

I somehow drank the stuff, had the x-rays, and vomited up black stuff. Very scary since the stuff I drank was clear, and I hadn't eaten in two days, and even before that I don't remember eating anything black. Was it blood? Anyways, whatever stayed down just sat in a pouch above the band. It didn’t go down.

<O:p</O:pI was put on IV and admitted to the hospital. Tuesday I had an endoscope/endoscopy done. No erosion in the band, but they saw that my esophagus was full of infection. My dr. told me the band was fine and in place.... and to try to drink water. I did, and got a bit down. And woke up in the night in the hospital coughing and choking on the few sips of water I had earlier. Not good.

Wednesday I had a CT. My dr. said everything was perfect with the band. He said "if you feel better you can go home". I just burst out crying. My doctor is a leading band doctor in the world. He was one of the first doctors to do the surgery 15 or so years ago (I don't live in America). He has banded over 6000 people. I began to think I would ruin his impressive statistics and that is why he didn't suggest to take out the band. He said we would talk again the next day. <O:p

Thursday morning I was depressed. Four nights in the hospital already, hooked up to IV and missing my kids sooooooooooooooo much. I hadn't had anything to eat except a few sips of water in nearly a week. (Though I wasn't hungry... I think the fear of having the horrible nausea/back pain kept any hunger pains away). I knew the band had to come out. My dr. then came and said that everything seems ok, “but if you cannot even drink, the band has to come out”. Thanks for the wise advice!!!!! He said he wouldn't leave me suffering, and promised to fit me in as an emergency the same day to remove the band, even if he had to do the surgery at midnight. (At least that was nice of him.)

I was actually quite relaxed. No real pre-surgery jitters. I did trust my dr. and I just felt so bad, I wanted the pain to end. I didn't let myself mourn or anything.... I just waited with my husband.

At 5pm they came and took me to the operating area. When I saw my dr. he said to me "I am sorry....". I started to cry and barely got out the words "Can I please keep my band after you remove it.....”?

Next thing I knew I was going to sleep, and then waking up. I have to say that coming out of the anesthetic was quite easy. I had no side effects from it, and was given a shot of morphine as soon as I awoke and really didn't have pain. I reached down where I had felt my port for the past 4 years and 6 months, and only felt a bandage.

The dr. told my husband after the surgery that when he went inside to remove the band he saw that I had a pretty severe infection both in the band area and the port area. He also said that both areas had extreme inflammation (thus causing the blockage).

I went back to my room at 8pm and was put on high doses of antibiotics via IV. By 1am I was up walking... physically I was doing OK. Mentally I didn't even let myself think about it.

Friday morning I was given a "gift" from my doctor. My band. Cut in two places when it was removed.

Finally this morning (Sunday) I came home from the hospital, with another 10 days supply of antibiotics. I have eaten some Soup with carrots, some yogurt, some of my baby's Gerber. Everything goes down. No pain. It feels weird.

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I haven't cried. Or rather I should say I haven't cried until now. Sitting here for the past hour writing this has brought on the flow of tears... it feels so good to get it out!

Should this very long post be called "Four years of hell...", or "Four wonderful years..." I am not at all sure. I went thru a lot. Weight has been an issue my entire life. I feel like a huge failure... even this I couldn't do right. But then I think that if I didn't have the band I most likely wouldn't be hearing someone say "Mommy, I want some juice please" this moment.

After my first prgnancy the band just never acted as it did before. I won't let myself regret getting pregnant so soon after being banded, but others considering the band and having a baby might want to take this into consideration.

So where am I? Still overweight (thought a bit less then where I started), and for some unexplained reason also optimistic. Maybe because I do have a completely different relationship with food then I had before I was banded. I have been eating to live for the past 4.5 years, not living to eat as I did before. Hmmmm. It's been a long trip; I am actually not sure what I am feeling yet.

It's getting quite late here so I am off to sleep. For anyone that has actually read this longest-post-in-the-world, thanks for listening!

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PS. I would love to be in contact with others that have been unbanded - we need each other for support.

PPS. If you are thinking about getting banded and you asked my opinion, I am honestly not sure what I would say. I absolutely did not write this to deter anyone. I just wrote it because it happened to me.

PPPS. If you are wondering where my broken band is now.... it's in my bed, under my pillow. :)<O:p</O:p

I am sorry you had to go through all that and I want to thank you for your post, it was informative and eye opening.

I was just wondering if the infection all clears is there a possibility you will be banded again, or would the infection come back or do you think it was just a one off that happened?

Tizag, thank you again for all your information. It must be wonderful to be pain-free and able to eat after so long!

Tizag,

That is great you are on the road to recovering from all your time in pain.

Did Your doctor ever explain why with all the test done they could never see the infection in your esophagus?

You see I have been unfilled since Oct and am getting stabbing pains here and there along my ribcage to where my port is. I put myself on Aloe Vera juice and am feeling better but without being filled I do have alot of restriction (could be stress or Aunt Flo). I also have an appt next week and have made myself a list of questioins to ask as well as your experinence.

All I can say is your trials and tribulations have given us a wealth of information, again, thank you for caring enough to share.

Thank you for your post. I am glad to hear you are doing better. With the attitude you have, I am sure you will be fine. Good luck!

5 years with the band, and you weren't at goal weight yet. That concerns me, but certainly not overlooking the horrible time you had with the band. As I'm researching and getting ready to get banded I read every post, good, bab or indifferent, because I know there are a lot of variants in the band and people's reaction. There are those doing great; those that seek support; I've seen stories like yours of being having to be unbanded; but still it is the safest almost non-evasive surgery there is.

I really feel so horribly sorry for what you have gone through. I wonder if you continue eating like a bandster after that length of time if you still may feel just like one from the built up scar tissue.

Please let us know and try and stay positive and focused on yourself and your wonderful family.

Hugs to U

Dody

5 years with the band, and you weren't at goal weight yet.

Out of the 30,000 people or so who have been banded (how many banded people are there?), has anyone ever got to goal weight? I never heard of anyone actually.....

From what I've read there was a girl named Michelle on here that only had her band a couple years and lost 105 lbs. and wears an 8-10. Her's got infected and she had to have it removed. God Bless Her she went through a lot, but she certainly is an inspiration to everyone here.

Yes I think people reach their goal weights long before 5 years is uf. I was told initially they don't lost as fast as GB patients but in the end they catch up. Let's here from you guys that are really gaining up on that goal weight after a yr. or so. I know you are here.

I have seen a lot of people on LBT get to their goal weight or withing 5lbs.

I have heard of a few,I think.There must be some.....show yourselves please.......

hi i just wanted to thank you for posting your story. i have had a lot of problems with to tight/to loose and have actually been contemplating a .1 cc fill. you have given me some food for thought. i also want you to know that i am sending you well wishes and healing vibes.

all the best to you and your family.

michelle

Tizag,

Thank you so much for your post. I read every line. As one who is not banded "yet"; I appreciate hearing the "good, the bad, and the ugly" part of being banded. I'm so sorry that you suffered so long before they got to the bottom of your problem.

I also feel that you have acquired the necessary tools to be successful in your wls. The infection you had was no reflection on your ability to use the band to it's fullest. Sometimes these things just happen. Be thankful that you came out of it with your life. Do you think you"ll get rebanded in the future?

But then I think that if I didn't have the band I most likely wouldn't be hearing someone say "Mommy, I want some juice please" this moment.

you have one of the best NSV's the band can ever give....a child

I can relate to the emotions you are feeling . I was unbanded 1 week ago due to eorsion.

For those of you that are banded, enjoy your band and be thankful everyday that it works good for you. And don't look back and have any regrets ever - have fun and look towards tomorrow with a smile.

Amen to that! My feelings exactly

I wishh you the best, and please fell free to PM me anytime there are 3 of us who were unbanded last week here on LBT, we can all help eachother through this new challenge and journey.

So sorry to hear about your band loss, but you have gained much much more with those beautiful children. And you said it, you now know how to eat!!! You can do it. Get back to that Gym and do everything you can to keep that weight off. Think of how good you felt when you were thin and the energy you had. Your children need that energy from their mommy, do it for them now. Good Luck and keep us posted on how you are doing.

Hi again everyone,

Still hanging in here! It's so strange that I still feel banded. Hmmmmmmm. Maybe it's like when people lose an arm or leg, but they still feel it?

To answer questions....

BigBellyKellie & Ceparano- I honestly have zero desire to be banded again right now. Maybe in the future I'll think differently, but right now I am not considering it an option.

Bubbame - After the gastroscopy I was told there was an infection in the esophagus, but the dr. didn't seem to think that was the cause, or that it was a big deal. He told me I would have to take meds for it (what's it called in America? Prilosec I think.) When I go back to see him I will ask why he thought this didn't have to do with the band.

Dody - I did lose about 60 pounds with the band and was 150 pounds when I was 6 months pregnant. Even if I never lost more with the band, I was very happy with this weight! I felt amazing....

La Madam - How are you doing unbanded? I will be in touch with you!!!

Thanks all!