Hi everyone,

I was just reading another post where someone banded in April commented about having to deal with some issues in her friendships that were changing because of her friends' reactions to her now having the band.

I was wondering about this. I have a neighbor who is very, very thin (works hard at it) and is a bit older. She is very happy for me and this choice I have made, but she was just telling me to get ready because I am going to encounter people who are going to be very jealous and not happy for me now that I have done this. I had heard this pre-surgery, but it seems different post-surgery, now that I am finding myself aware I have not heard from certain people I know in a while.

On the other hand, I have had a few ravingly enthusiastic cheers from other people I have told, like some distant relatives, and some classmates I have not seen in decades. (Are they happy for me? Or just happy that I apparently got fat enough to get a lap band? Do they think it's funny? I have no idea. They could just be nice people. But they have been ... enthusiastic.)

And then there are the folks I interact with daily, and hmm, some of them haven't even picked up a phone or sent a text to see how I am.

Just wondering what's happening with everyone else!

Don't you love when people stare because they can tell you have lost but won't comment! The skinny freinds are defintately my best support.

This is my first post, I have yet to have my band placed and in the very starting phase of the process. I had to post here though because this is one of the prime issues I have with the band.

I have decided not to tell anyone but my husband and my immediate group of girlfriends. Not my expanded group of friends, not my extended family, not even my parents. I may decide this is a mistake and tell them, but I probably won't. I live on the other side of the country as my family so I'm pretty sure I can accomplish this, but part of me still feels like I'm cheating a bit. Logically I know this is untrue- this is a sound decision for my health. I just don't want to encounter any judgement. Most of my family is heavier than me and either struggling with their weight or not. I don't know...

I hope you can do it. I didn't want anyone to know but one person let it slip to another and so on, till everyone knows. I am really more than a little upset about it to the point that I just want to scream sometimes. EVERYONE has something to say, and not all of them are nice or supportive. It is my decision, MINE, so back off.:thumbup:

But I would have loved it to have it kept to just me and my husband.

My immediate family knows and one friend knows about my decision - and my one friend actually had gastric bypass about 5 years ago and is very supportive of my decision.

Others that I have mentioned I was "thinking" about lap band have not been supportive - I have had comments of "you are not fat enough" etc. I also have heard all of the horror stories from everyone.

I don't want people to be questioning me or judging me about my decision. So I am going to keep quiet about it.

My immediate family knows and one friend knows about my decision - and my one friend actually had gastric bypass about 5 years ago and is very supportive of my decision.

Others that I have mentioned I was "thinking" about LAP-BAND® have not been supportive - I have had comments of "you are not fat enough" etc. I also have heard all of the horror stories from everyone.

I don't want people to be questioning me or judging me about my decision. So I am going to keep quiet about it.

You go girl. That is my only regret on all this. I just wish all those others didn't know I did this....

NurseSophie,

I really love your last post. Your right life is too short to worry what other people think. My whole family knows and are so supportive. They know how miserable I've been all my life and are so happy for me. It makes me want to go and shout it out. Thanks for your words of wisdom.

Don't you love when people stare because they can tell you have lost but won't comment! The skinny freinds are defintately my best support.

I've not encountered any real negativity - but I have encountered some people who are "funny" around me and they dont even know i have a band.

Sadly, its fat women, who are often the first to cry discrimination against themselves, that exhibit a mean and jealous attitude. I'm not allowed to join a general conversation about body insecurities, for example, without eyerolling of the "what would YOU know" kind. Because they think I'm a naturally thin person. I cant leave lunch or dinner on my plate because apparently I do that just to show them up.

Its not blatant, and nasty, its more of a you can tell what people are thinking. These are not close friends, just part of a wider social group, it doesnt bother me at all, but I definitely think that people who ARE comfortable with their own bodies (thin or fat) and their own lives and achievements are generally tolerant of and supportive of others' choices.

Before I had surgery, my husband was really scared for me. Since surgery, he has been awesome and seems very proud of me.

Some members of my family, whom I have dieted with previously and attended Weight Watcher's meetings with, are acting a little strange. It's like they're watching me. I laugh because I think I might be their test dummy. If it works for me, maybe they will follow.

It's hard to know what other people are thinking. I'm going to assume the best. I'm VERY happy and everyone can see that.

I have encountered my first bit of snarkyness! I was really taken aback by it.

A friend of mine from my old hometown sent me a picture of a plateful of food that she was having while one a trip. It looked AMAZING! I told her she was killing me because I was on a liquid diet due to being banded. (I'll shout it from the rooftops. At this point, I don't care who knows!)

Her response, instead of what I expected, was more like "Wow, why did you do that?" She knows about my diabetes, my high blood pressure, my extreme obesity, etc. She also knows that I had a miscarriage last year that tore my life apart for a while thanks to my weight and other health issues.

When I told her because I felt like even if I lost all of the weight on WW, that I was destined to gain it back. She basically said, "Well, if that's what you felt like you needed to do, then ok."

She's usually a very kind, very loving, very supportive person. She also has a weight problem, so I had expected her to be happy for me. She wasn't mean or anything, just kind of like whatever.

It bothered me a bit, I have to admit. Hopefully, she'll come around eventually. But, at the end of the day, this is for me and my family. If she continues to be snarky about it, I'll just have to sever that tie. If you can't be happy/proud/whatever of me for saving my own life by having a procedure done, then I don't need you in my life.

I chose not to tell anyone but my immediate family and my work friends because a close work friend is doing it too. Now another person from work is having it done in Mexico, she is a size 12 and dont need the surgery. It is rather amazing to watch how others react. None the less, I am excited about my decision and look forward to reaching my goal!