Hi everyone,

I'm new here and feeling so discouraged . I need help and if anyone has ever been through this before,I would appreciate ANY feedback.

After my surgery,I had terrific success. Once I started the program,I was almost 300 pounds,291 to be exact. The day of my surgery ,I was 261. I'm not 249. I feel so disgusted with myself and so discouraged that I can hardly see straight. Actually ,for the first few months,things were great but right around September of 2009,I went in for my 3rd fill,at that time,I was probably around 215. I was feeling great,I had motivation unlike I've ever had before. Well not too long after that fill,I started to throw up all the time,I thought it was might fault,like maybe I ate too fast or too much but I wasn't doing anything different. Then I started to notice I wasn't losing any weight. So I went for months like this ,thinking it was my fault but what started to happen is that I was hungry all the time. I guess because I was throwing up all the time. I thought it was some sort of art form that I had yet to perfect with the new fill lol. Well it wasn't until December that I saw my surgeon and had a "unfill",so I thought it was ok but then I start gaining weight back so time goes by,they make me wait to give me another fill to give my band a break so to speak,so I have another fill and this sounds strange but for a while it was ok but I still wasn't losing weight hardly at all anymore and I started to get hungry all the time and then what I started doing was eating "around" the band just to fill feel. For example like ice cream because it tasted good,it was filling and it didn't make me vomit. I was seen a couple of weeks ago to have an "unfill". I think right now I'm only at a 3 ?? I am feeling really awful about my weight gain and I feel like I can't get that motivation I once had,back. What is wrong with me ?

The Surgeon and his nurses said their not worried,that I will get back on track and that it's their fault for giving me too many fills(I don't feel it's their fault though) and that it's really a trial and error type thing but I feel like a failure and I also feel like other people see me as that.

I really hate to admit this but there are a couple of people that I know that probably want to see me fail. I so badly want to prove them wrong.

Has anyone else been through this and did it finally change for you ,for the better ?

I need all the advice I can get . Thank you!!

Edited April 26, 201016 yr by eastcoastgirl

Wow, you have had a rough time of it! Sorry about that. Has the recent unfill helped?

Not sure how to motivate you except to think about how good you felt while loosing. Setting mini goals may help. Such as a spa treatment when you loose 10 pounds.

Excersise would help as well, if your not doing it already. It will help with the hunger and increase your metabolism. Higher metabolism = more weight loss.

I really hope you can get back on track! Best wishes!

I think your biggest challenge was lack of knowledge. You went for so long being too tight, and did not know it was too tight. You just need to keep reading everything you can about band life. Get a book, read forums, take part in chat rooms, etc. In the mean time, you need to pretend you just got your band. Allow time for healing to take place and go for smaller fills to allow sufficient healing in between them. My daughter can not tolerate very much of a fill. At less than half of the amount of fill I have, she is too tight and can not eat at all. It is never good to not eat, and it is never good to eat stuff you know will go down easy. You can turn over a new leaf, and you need to do it for you, not anyone else in the world. Even proving someone else wrong, is in itself the wrong reason to improve your situation.

When you do get stuck, go back to liquids for at least 12 hours, then go to mushies for a day, then gradually add back food so you can allow yourself to heal. When you start to eat again, be sure you take very small bites. This is the most important thing for me. If I remember to take small bites, and chew chew chew, I can tolerate a pretty tight fill. Now just forgive yourself, and start again, this time armed with all the knowledge you need to be successful. You are worth it!!! Hugs!!!!

It sounded like you were talking my story...I am in the same position... I was originally 215lbs when I started, I got down to 135lbs in the first 11 months, its been a year now since I've been banded but I gained some weight back Im now 149lbs, and Im scared Ill keep gaining if I dont turn things around. I PB daily b/c I want to eat or I feel deprived or something. So I turn to ice cream and chocolate bc I know it will stay down and make me feel "good" or "full" but Im like addicted to it. I exercise ALOT have a trainer plus run 4 miles nearly everyday. I really wanna do better but its been a real struggle...maybe im to tight, but im scared that ill gain more weight if she unfills me a bit. Its like im outta control all of sudden. i dont know what to do...i know im harming my body from all the PBing... and I dont like to do it but it just feels like a heavy weight on my chest and needs to come up... mucus, food, liquids...god its miserable, part of me wants to be "normal" again...part of me wants to go out to dinner with my friends and family and enjoy everything theyre having... yet its miserable being fat. This will always be a lifetime battle. I hope you figure it out, when u do tell me please...im in the same boat as you girlie... good luck keep me posted.

There are more of us then you might think. I myself am having a motivational problem. I have lost 51 pounds (need to update my ticker) but have been through the ringer with being too tight then an unfill and now I'm too loose and waiting for a fill. I understand that we all tend to go back to our old habits of comfort eating and that's natural. I do the same thing I'm just trying to limit myself as much as a girl with no willpower can. Nobody ever said this would be easy but I'm sure everybody has had a bad time, probably after barfing up a lung, where they say why did I pay for this. Sometimes I wonder myself, but I know in the long run I will overcome my illness of overeating and atleast be healthy enough to watch my kids grow old. I hope that you can see the light at the end of the tunnel and I hope your on the track that can get you there. Just do like the AA people do "one day at a time." I wish you all the best.

I have the perfect solution - a brain transplant!!!!!!

If you find a doctor who does it, please let me know because I NEED one :thumbup:

Seriously though, I try to brainwash myself with healthy eating messages by reading as many self help books as I can, as often as possible - I find it helps me a lot, but I have to keep at it because the moment I stop, I seem to slide backwards. So, my advice, make time for yourself each day to do whatever makes your heart sing - I know much easier said than done and I am definitely a hypocrite regarding this at the moment - but I think most people would agree that when we make time to look after ourself we succeed in all areas of life.

Now if only I would take my own advice :-)

It sounded like you were talking my story...I am in the same position... I was originally 215lbs when I started, I got down to 135lbs in the first 11 months, its been a year now since I've been banded but I gained some weight back Im now 149lbs, and Im scared Ill keep gaining if I dont turn things around. I PB daily b/c I want to eat or I feel deprived or something. So I turn to ice cream and chocolate bc I know it will stay down and make me feel "good" or "full" but Im like addicted to it. I exercise ALOT have a trainer plus run 4 miles nearly everyday. I really wanna do better but its been a real struggle...maybe im to tight, but im scared that ill gain more weight if she unfills me a bit. Its like im outta control all of sudden. i dont know what to do...i know im harming my body from all the PBing... and I dont like to do it but it just feels like a heavy weight on my chest and needs to come up... mucus, food, liquids...god its miserable, part of me wants to be "normal" again...part of me wants to go out to dinner with my friends and family and enjoy everything theyre having... yet its miserable being fat. This will always be a lifetime battle. I hope you figure it out, when u do tell me please...im in the same boat as you girlie... good luck keep me posted.

You need to get a small unfill. You probably need less than 1cc taken out. You will be able to eat healthier food and you exercise enough that you actually NEED this food. You may be surprised to actually lose a few more pounds if you are able to eat a little more food.

I understand, but dont be discouraged. I have been banded since Dec 07. I lost about 30 pounds the first six month, then nothing. Over the next year I gained about 10 of those back. Mainly because i dint get filled and made bad food choice. Last October, I went and had a fill and made a committment to use my "tool". I started going to the gym six days a week...no matter what. I started making better food choice. I aslo went through the feeling "too toght" phase and thought I was going to need an "unfill"...but after about a month...it adjusted and I adjusted. I realized I had to be careful with what I eat and the amount I eat. But most importantly I started going to the gym, or outside to just walk. I am now down another 50-55 pounds since i "got serious" and started using my tool. I am 20 pounds to my goal. Did it take over 2 years..,.yes...but it is worth it and I love my band. I am also finally at my "sweet spot" ...and that helps. BUT...I have to make choices everyday...like to have a piece of cake or ice cream. I choose to say no...the results I have received are not worth that peice of cake. I should say I do occasinoally splughe...but everything in moderation. One small slice or a few bites...and I am done. So dont give up...You can do it.

..maybe im to tight, but im scared that ill gain more weight if she unfills me a bit.

If you have to rely on high-calorie, high-fat slider foods in order to eat, then an unfill won't result in gain--it will protect the loss you've had and prevent additional gain.

What a frustrating situation!

It sounded like you were talking my story...I am in the same position... I was originally 215lbs when I started, I got down to 135lbs in the first 11 months, its been a year now since I've been banded but I gained some weight back Im now 149lbs, and Im scared Ill keep gaining if I dont turn things around. I PB daily b/c I want to eat or I feel deprived or something. So I turn to ice cream and chocolate bc I know it will stay down and make me feel "good" or "full" but Im like addicted to it. I exercise ALOT have a trainer plus run 4 miles nearly everyday. I really wanna do better but its been a real struggle...maybe im to tight, but im scared that ill gain more weight if she unfills me a bit. Its like im outta control all of sudden. i dont know what to do...i know im harming my body from all the PBing... and I dont like to do it but it just feels like a heavy weight on my chest and needs to come up... mucus, food, liquids...god its miserable, part of me wants to be "normal" again...part of me wants to go out to dinner with my friends and family and enjoy everything theyre having... yet its miserable being fat. This will always be a lifetime battle. I hope you figure it out, when u do tell me please...im in the same boat as you girlie... good luck keep me posted.

You should not be so tight you can not eat real food. All of us got where we are because of the erroneous idea that if a little bit is good, then a whole lot is better. If you could eat real food, you will be more satisfied and not desparate to get nutrition. Too tight is worse than not tight enough, because you can't lose, and you end up malnourished. I suggest you get a slight unfill and then start again, making sure you make good food choices!! Hugs!!!