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Visit with my primary care doc - not my fault
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Right.
I went to see my primary care doc to get a referral to the surgeon so that my insurance would cover that visit. Before know what happened, he has scolded me for not having taken my thyroid meds and he thinks that surgery is a bad idea. If I can't change my eating habits, then the surgery won't work. Yeah, I get that. He also said that any decent surgeon would refuse to operate on me till my thyroid is under control. I get that, too.
Then he said that he wants me to read about bupropion, which I did ravenously. It is used for many things, but an off-label usage is for people with eating disorders (not anorexia or bulimia, though) - like me, apparently. He tells me that he thinks (based on what I have told him over all my visits) that I have a food obsession and (now get this) that my overeating IS NOT MY FAULT. WHAT? I can see the food obsession thing since I do have some other compulsive behaviors like counting things or thoughts cycling though my head incessantly.
My fatness is not my fault?! I cannot tell you how that felt to hear. I mean, when I try to explain to my best friend (never been fat in his life) that I just cannot control myself, he doesn't get it. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I am about in tears. These are good tears.
I am going to get myself back on the thyroid medication and start the bupropion and see how that goes. If it works, then I can avoid having an invasive procedure. If not, then I can always come back to the surgical option. I am not going anywhere, though...I want to continue to learn more so that I feel comfortable in case I have to go the surgery route.
So...I have canceled my consult with the surgeon. (Though, interestingly, his office called me a few hours later - apparently they had not listened to my message yet - to tell me that the surgeon had to cancel my appointment. How funny!) I am, however, going to go to the learning session at Phoenixville Hospital on Thursday...should be interesting.