you can look up my threads for backstory.

i am really a failure at this and don't know how to get out of this mess.

it's gotten so bad i'm even ashamed to post on support forums.

I've only lost about 40# since 1/09 and have completely fallen off the wagon. :frown:

i'm disgusted at hearing me make the same excuses ive made for 30yrs.

right now i have 5.2cc in a 10cc band, and i'm going to call for another adjustment see if i can get in next week.

*sigh*

You are not insane and not alone-- look at all of us here that are having the same struggles.

I slacked off and didn't want to face that I was sabatoging myself. I sucked it up and just went and got a fill today. A couple of weeks ago I started by recommitting-- to tracking what I eat (on daily plate), focusing on working out, and following the rules. Seriously-- if I do not work out and do not eat right-- i will not lose. I cannot just eat less with my band--it has to be healthy and I have to work out.

I have a new fill doctor (i moved 4 months ago)and she is awesome. She is also re-testing my thyroid and helping me get back on track.

Refocus, go talk to your doctor, get a fill and set a short term goal for yourself. Vent to us. Don't look at what didn't happen or what your long term goal is--focus on just the next step in front of you. You can't change the past and if you only look at the end you'll never get there because the potholes (or donuts) in front of you will keep on making you fall.