you can look up my threads for backstory.

i am really a failure at this and don't know how to get out of this mess.

it's gotten so bad i'm even ashamed to post on support forums.

I've only lost about 40# since 1/09 and have completely fallen off the wagon. :frown:

i'm disgusted at hearing me make the same excuses ive made for 30yrs.

right now i have 5.2cc in a 10cc band, and i'm going to call for another adjustment see if i can get in next week.

*sigh*

Oh come on, don't be sad. Let me ask you a serious question.

When was the last time that you started a new year and you were down 40 pounds from the previous year? (Jan to Jan)

I can tell you the answer for me, maybe one time 12 years ago (on prescription diet pills). Every single year of my adult life I have gained weight. So even if I stayed the same weight every year for the rest of my life (instead of gaining 10 -15 pounds a year like I did in the past) wouldn't that still be a victory?

You know what? I feel your pain, trust me! YOu gotta get back on the horse though, you know what I mean? Stop looking so far in the future, try one day at a time. I found this post on another site. It might help -

Surgery Is Not a Magic Pill

Surgery is not the magic pill we have all been waiting for. You will not wake up thin. You must be willing to meet the band half way. You will lose weight at a different pace than your friends. You must change your behavior for this to work. It is a tool—and nothing more. An electric mixer is easier than mixing by hand but you still have to follow the recipe for the cake to taste good.

Right now you should be asking yourself one question—“Am I ready to go the distance?”

Good Luck! We are all rooting for you :frown:

GhostDog, if you are insane then so are a large percentage of the adult population of the developed world. Nearly everybody, statistically speaking, struggles with their weight these days. In fact, it is fast reaching the point where it is abnormal to have a normal weight.

You are not abnormal. You are not insane. Well, hang on a minute, maybe I should rephrase that along the lines of "you may well be insaane, but your struggle with your weight does not have any bearing on your sanity status".

Come on, cut yourself some slack. You lost 40 lbs in a year and you kept it off. I know a number of people who would have to have a limb amputated in order to lose that much weight and maintain the loss.

We think of weight in stones here in the UK. There are 14 pounds in a stone. And you lost nearly three of them. Your rockery is much reduced! OK, so it isn't coming off fast enough for you, but about the only way to drop 40 lbs overnight is to have an amputation or a baby!!!

Obviously, you are doing something right or you could not have lost 40lb. Maybe you need to do a bit more ofthe same. I know that an awful lot of us are able to embrace the food philosophy wholeheartedly but balk at the exercise bit! I don't know you - I did take a quick look back at some of your posts, but I didn't have time to read everything so all I really know is your age, whenyou were banded and howmuch you used to weigh (way back when). Maybe you need to take up a bit more exercise.

Statistically speaking, from NHANES data, the people who lose 30lb or more and keep it off for 10 yrs or more are the ones who build exercise into their lives on a permanent basis. On average, it seems to be an hour every day of vigorous exercise with walking and jogging being the most popular pursuits.

Then there is the settling point theory, which describes a weight point at which your body becomes comfortable and will do whatever is necessary to defend that point. It is possible to lower that weight point (many, many of us have done it) but it isn't easy. Having said that, it isn't rocket science either.

Tough love my dear. Take a look at what you did when you first managed to acheive a significant loss. Are you doing all that now? Honestly? Remember, even if you are doing the same exercise, you will need to either up the intensity or the duration to keep on burning the same number of calories because a body which is 40 lbs lighter (yay) doesn't burn up as many calories as a body which is 40lbs heavier when they are doing the same job of work.

And maybe you should drop in and see your physician - check that Fluid retention isn't masking a weight loss. Ensure that your bowels are working at optimum - you would be surprised how much extra weight a few days constipation can result in. Once you know that your body is functional then the only other factors you can influence are your diet and exercise regime. Even witha gastric bypass, which is harder to cheat onthan a band, your loss is related to what you put in your mouth and in what quantities and tempered by the amount of effort you put into maintaining an exercise regime of suitable and effective level.

Good luck. YOU CAN DO IT.

Ghostdog, I did not know what restriction was until I got past 5.3 cc's. Why would you be ashamed, we have all done this same thing a million times. I log everything I eat and drink, I have a body bugg which keeps track of my calories burned everyday, I have a fitbook and write down every work out and keep 12 week goals. Maybe you just need to start fresh and give yourself credit for the 40 pounds you have lost that is 40 less pounds than you had last time you started this process. Also I think many people loose their muscle mass and then it sets them up for failure down the road. Try adding some resistant training into your workout and build muscle so you can increase your base metabolism. Hang in there Rome wasn't built in a day...

Don't confuse having a bad spell for failure. Non-of us is perfect our we would not bee here. You have made progress on your journey. Take deep breath, rally you conviction and make good choices the next day. Then work hard to do it the next day. It is all any of us can do

Don't give up on yourself! Just go get your fill and get going again. We all struggle some days or for short periods. We are all wishing you good luck and you are not insane and you are not alone.

Cheri

I needed to read this today. It is comforting to know we aren't alone in the struggle to overcome our eating habits. Everyday we wake up is a day to make a decision to move forward or live in the past. Tomorrow when we wake up, let's look at ourselves in the mirror, smile and say You Rock and today will be so much better than yesterday and I will make healthier decisions!

Don't be ashamed. These are called Support forums for that reason....Support. We are all in this together. So you fell off...okay, get up, dust your self off and move forward.

We are here for you.

Cheryl

First of all, I love your user name Ghostdog. It's pretty cool. Next, I wanted to tell you what others have said. You are not insane. So many of us are in the same boat as you are. We all struggle. I came to the conclusion the other day that I am a foodaholic the way some people are alcoholics. And I have to take it one day at a time. Sometimes it is one minute at a time. But do remember you are 40 pounds down! That is great! I have read posts from people who have gained everything back and more. So you see, things are still going your way. I have been see- sawing for quite some time now. It is always, "I've ruined today, I'll start fresh tomorrow." Well, after reading some of the posts to you I have decided to go back to the basics and write everything down after I have measured it. Maybe you will try it also. You can do this! Please post again and let us know how you are doing because there are a lot of us who care.

To give you a little hope - I was in the same place. I got banded in Dec 08 and had lost about 15 lbs before surgery and only about 35 lbs after surgery!! even less than you!! Then about Feb this year I went to the mountains and the altitude did something to my band - it tightened it up and I lost 12 lbs in about 3 weeks --- clearly I wasn't using my 'tool' like it was meant to be used!! So when I came home, I tightened it up and managed to lose another 8 lbs pretty quickly. Now I'm almost at 70lbs total and about 55lbs since surgery.... I'm really happy with my progress and am happy to plateau for a bit to let my body adjust. Just go get tightened, try and eat properly and give yourself a break!!

Hey GhostDog,

You have enough courage to (1) look at yourself, and (2) admit what it is you see. Most people can never own their own BS. You have and that's true courage. Thanks for showing us some real courage. Best to you.

My Doctor had told me I was gaining about 30 lbs a year.

So even though I am a slow loser. I count those 30 lbs each year that Iwould have gained as a loss. Atleast in my brain.

I cant see myself getting smaller. But my mom told me my butt looks smaller. :thumbup: So that made me feel good. lol

Stop looking at what everyone else is doing. And just work on eatting healthy. And focus on YOU.

Your doing it. Keep your head up and look forward not back.

Hang in there!!! We all struggle . . . even those of us who have been at this for years. Just pick yourself up, dust off and keep trying again. Good luck.

First of all you are not insane!! And remember, you are addressing people who had to have their stomaches physically altered to lose weight. So I think we get where you are coming from!! You have lost 40 lbs. That is great!!! I know someone who had surgery 2 years ago and she has lost 25. I also know someone who had surgery and they lost 130 in the first 9 months. We are all different. Look for the good in what you have done and when you go to the doctor again tell him you are disappointed in yourself and move on! Keep your chin up and I wish you the best of luck!!!

Each day is the start to a new beginning, a better you. Don't give up. If losing weight were easy we would all be skinny. You can do it, we all can. Just hang in there. Tomorrow is another day.

Eileen

Dont beat yourself up. The band is always there, and you can decide to fire it back up at any time. Take a look at what you are eating, honeslty look at the calories. Maybe you need a fill to help you get moving again. Dont let yourself go for over 60 days with no scale movement, it it is not moving, look at what you are doing, and then evaluate the need for a fill or dietary adjustment. This is a slow process, I seem to loose abuot 4 lbs a month, I wish it were more, but it is steady and I am in this for the long haul, not a quick fix. Good luck.