Well I read the material and listened, but I just didn't think it was possible...some people are more comfortable around me as a fat person.

I've recently been banded and so far I've lost about 37 lbs (pre and post op diets). I was out the other night and a close friend made mention of my weight. At first it was very nice...wow Teesh you look awesome, you've lost ....I can tell. But then they went on to say how my attitude had changed and I thought I was all that. Don't forget where you came from...don't forget you used to be fat!!

What in the world!!! I thought to myself...but you know what....I spoke up and said "I will never forget where I came from...I feel good about my weight loss and each time I drop my outfits and personality are going to reflect the new found confidence....I am not staying fat for you or anyone else."

So I just wanted to post that little short to let you all know that it's true...everyone's not going to be happy for you as you lose. Some folks are going to think you're being conceted and stuck up when you start branching out with new clothes and confidence. But don't let it get to you...you don't owe anyone anything but yourself. I've realized, this journey is about me and all that I can squeeze out of my short time here on earth. I want to be healthy and look great, I want kids and a fulfilled life...NOTHING CAN STOP ME NOW.

Good luck on your journey.

I was just saying this on another thread, In the begining people were quite kind, But as I am aproaching goal I get smart comments from some of my so called friends such as one stated: My sister lost 100lbs but she lost it the real way. Another friend said I was lucky because I got to take the easy way out. Now I know she doesn't know what she's talking about because there has been nothing easy about this journey. It just goes on and on. And my best friend said the weightloss is great to bad it's making me look so old. It's the old saying: with friends like that who needs enemies. I wish I had people around me that have had this done, There's not even a support group in my area. That's why I'm greatful to LBT. It really helps me get through.

I was just saying this on another thread, In the begining people were quite kind, But as I am aproaching goal I get smart comments from some of my so called friends such as one stated: My sister lost 100lbs but she lost it the real way. Another friend said I was lucky because I got to take the easy way out. Now I know she doesn't know what she's talking about because there has been nothing easy about this journey. It just goes on and on. And my best friend said the weightloss is great to bad it's making me look so old. It's the old saying: with friends like that who needs enemies. I wish I had people around me that have had this done, There's not even a support group in my area. That's why I'm greatful to LBT. It really helps me get through.

O....M....G....I think the first thing I'd do, is go find some new friends!!! Good grief - you're absolutely right! With friends like that, who really needs enemies?? Errr....people like that make me sooo mad! They do not even deserve your friendship! Sorry - I'm the resident bully-hater. It just amazes me what comes out of people's mouths!

Your right, I really don't hang with most of them anymore. They think it's because I think I'm better then them now that I've lost so much of the weight but I know it's simply because I'm a better person then that and I've learned not to allow anyones negitivity into my positve world. Now of coarse I do have some wonderful friends that have been nothing but supportive. I find the ones I get the most greif from are my overweight friends. Maybe they feel left behind or just plain jealous, I'm not really sure and really don't feel I need to take the time out to find out. A true friend will stand by you and have your back and maybe this is just the part of the journey where we need to take a minute and weed through the good and the bad.

Amen Sister!! I've been letting go of a lot of poisonous relationships, too. I just don't have the time or energy to entertain their negativity! It just drains the life out of me! This is my time, my life, and nobody's going to rain on my parade! :mad2: Woot woot!! :eek:

No one has outwardly mentioned my WL but I do notice several friends that have drifted off to never never land. My friends don't all know that I had this done, and when you get positive feedback and your friends are standing there listening, it doesn't go quite as planned.

I guess I have to look at it as not having quite as much in common as some of my friends. I don't focus my life around food anymore, I don't really enjoy food and eating, there are days I have to remind myself to eat(almost all days), and I tend to spend about 10 hours a week at the gym.

I guess I have to look at it as not having quite as much in common as some of my friends. I don't focus my life around food anymore, I don't really enjoy food and eating, there are days I have to remind myself to eat(almost all days), and I tend to spend about 10 hours a week at the gym.

Eating is a chore for me now too. I just got my third fill on Monday and now I'm having a hard time eating. I've Pb'd twice since Monday. But I'm giving it time for the swelling to go down. I can eat and have eaten but very little. Trying to keep my Protein up. Can drink easily also...so I know I'm not too tight. But I can see over time how I'll just say, the heck with it and be done with obsessing over food. I'm getting there already. Feels good...:eek::thumbup::mad2:

Well I guess we should add my Mother to the hater list. My older step sister had gastric bypass probably 5 years ago. All I have heard since then is how nice and young she looks since she has lost her weight and had her plastic surgeries. I am very happy for her and she does look good. My Mother called me last night and wanted to know how much I have lost, after I told her she said "Don't lose too much, you don't want to look old." So after weight loss I guess my step sister looks good but I will just look old. :eek:

Well I guess we should add my Mother to the hater list. My older step sister had gastric bypass probably 5 years ago. All I have heard since then is how nice and young she looks since she has lost her weight and had her plastic surgeries. I am very happy for her and she does look good. My Mother called me last night and wanted to know how much I have lost, after I told her she said "Don't lose too much, you don't want to look old." So after weight loss I guess my step sister looks good but I will just look old. :eek:

My reponse to folks that bring up the "looking old" thing....

"Well, at least I'll have the opportunity to look old now - which probably wouldn't have been possible if I hadn't decided to lose the weight. I'd rather look old, than look dead."

That usually shuts them up - either they're so confused by what I've said, or they become uncomfortable with the subject of death. I don't know...they usually change the subject, though. :mad2:

I must say, I love that response. It's now on the list to use.

This is so strange to me. I always thought that being FAT was the big friend detector. The ones who were happy to have their still cool on the inside friend at their parties got extra points in my book. I can't really understand why anyone would be bothered by my being thin! It should be interesting though. Time will tell. Sounds like a good problem to have though because it means you've lost a ton of weight and look great!

This is so strange to me. I always thought that being FAT was the big friend detector. The ones who were happy to have their still cool on the inside friend at their parties got extra points in my book. I can't really understand why anyone would be bothered by my being thin! It should be interesting though. Time will tell. Sounds like a good problem to have though because it means you've lost a ton of weight and look great!

Amen !!!!!

My reponse to folks that bring up the "looking old" thing....

"Well, at least I'll have the opportunity to look old now - which probably wouldn't have been possible if I hadn't decided to lose the weight. I'd rather look old, than look dead."

That usually shuts them up - either they're so confused by what I've said, or they become uncomfortable with the subject of death. I don't know...they usually change the subject, though. :cursing:

I really like that response too.

But the sad thing is right now I feel like I am looking thin (thinner) and dead. Is that the negative self talk in that other thread? If that's the case, I sure don't need negative talk from friends and family. I'm lucky I have not had any at this point.

I was always larger than my best friend - not by much but that's the way it was. It didn't bother me, I never felt like I was competing against her. Sadly, she felt she was competing with me. Around the time I got banded, she was put on medication that prompted weight gain, so I was going down while she was going up.

She told me I would die from the band. She printed out information off the internet (from questionable sources) outlining all the bad things that would happen. She went so far as to tell me to get it removed merely weeks after I got the surgery.

I honestly thought my best friend would be there for me but she changed completely (or maybe she was always nasty deep down). I eventually told her to get lost and we haven't spoken since and that's fine with me. I'm not here to be anyone's 'fat' friend.

First off, the majority of people are threatened by change, good or bad.

Having a "fat friend" is an ace in the hole. No matter how bad you are feeling about yourself that day, you know that your "fat friend" will look worse than you. Now imagine your "fat friend" is getting thinner. Holy, chit! Their safety net is gone. They are forced to look at themselves and resent the change in status quo.

I try to downplay my weightloss to those most sensitive. I don't tell them how much I have actually lost. It does not diminish my success. It does not sabotage me to only tell an intimate few the actual numbers. I don't have to shout it off the rooftops..they can see it for themselves. They have eyes don't they? lol

Yow will lose friends. Some of their husbands will now hit on you. That would piss me off too. People will talk to you, that never gave you the time of day. It's weird and at times uncomfortable.

I try to be mindful of how insecure and unattractive I felt when I was fat. Now I have lose skin and do look older since the surgery. I have wrinkles I have never had before and I don't like it! But, people only see the weight loss, they don't know or care how I feel now. Imagine wanting plastic surgery..how selfish can I be? (sigh) Human nature and all that.

By the way, I'm in a size 10 now..did I forget to tell you? lol

Samantha

I think what it boils down to is if they were a real friend they would be happy that your happy, and not act like a jealous child. I guess when I look back the person I thought was my best friend was always a little selfish and jealous when anything good happens to someone other then her. I guess I just didn't pay much attention to it and maybe I just notice it more now. So out with the old and in with the new. it's still hard to drift away from people you once cared so much about even if you can't figure out why you cared so much in the first place.