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To tell or not to tell, that is the question...

When I went to get my LAP-BAND® I didn't plan on telling anyone but my close family (parents, spouse, siblings), but my mom told my sister before I did and she felt the need to tell almost everyone we know at a public function. So now everyone I know questions me on how its going. Its almost like being pregnant and everyone trying to touch your stomach. So I was wondering, what do yall think? Tell or not?

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To tell or not to tell 1 member has voted

  1. 1. To tell or not to tell

    • Tell nobody
      19%
      19
    • Tell close friends
      35%
      35
    • Tell friends, family and coworkers
      34%
      34
    • Tell everyone you meet
      12%
      12

Please sign in or register to vote in this poll.

Featured Replies

I don't judge anyone who chooses to keep this info to themselves...

Very few people know about my surgery... husband, kids, parents, and brother & his wife... and 2 of my closest friends. There are a few people i would LIKE to tell ----- eventually!!! But right now, I have enough stress learning how to eat all over again, how to drink differently, exercise, etc.... it's just overwhelming... the last thing I need are kind, well-intended, and not so-well-intended people asking me the HOW'S? and WHY'S? of my life-changing decision.... ya know?

Good luck to everyone!!!!!:thumbup:

You know chick, you're right. In my neck of the woods, people would criticize me for paying that much money (i was self pay) for something like this at my age. (54). So I chose not to tell anyone but my immediate family and 2 close friends. It's enough learning this new way of life without others telling me I made a mistake spending all that money.

But you know, today my good friend told me how thin i'm getting and it made my day. That feels real good.

I told my husband, my mother, and two friends. That's all. One friend is already acting differently and keeps telling me that we can't be friends if I get skinny. It's funny to me and she's says it in a sort of joking, but not joking manner...if that makes sense. I'm only two weeks post-op but she only calls to see how much weight I've lost - not how I'm feeling or anything else. *shrug* I guess as with every phase in life (marriage, babies etc.) you learn who your friends are and who aren't - sometimes you have to purge. We'll see how this goes - but I'm definitely not putting the surgery on blast.

The only people that know about my surgery are my friend who picked me up from the hospital and his wife who drove my car home. They are very supportive.

This is hard enough and as for me, the last thing I need is

a well meaning friend who has a few pounds to lose or has never had a problem with weight telling me that all I need to do is......................... Or the classics, "Just this little bit won't hurt", "It's a special occasion, treat yourself"............ The only advice I want is from my doctor, nutritionist or the support groups.

Unless someone has battled their weight as we all have, they can't begin to comprehend how difficult this is.

It seems that half of the state of Texas has had one form of WLS or another.

I tell anyone that cares and a lot that don't.

My boss told everyone at work, so though I planned to tell them over time, now it is too late. I do wish some of them did not know, because I have some who try to give advice or say what they do--I do not need their help, and it's about me, so I do not care what you do. Some are naturally curious, and I respect that, and have genuine questions. I am just upfront and tell them how I feel. I said all of that to say, whomever you tell, be prepared for how you will deal with their response

Does your boss realize that its against the law to divulge medical information? That's a big no no.

I had surgery today and no one knew but my b/f. We live together and since he is my SO it is only natural that he knows...he is taking care of me from my surgery. Other than that, the only other person that knows is his mom. I only shared it with her because I lost my mom in 1996 to cancer and my ex-MIL did NOT get along so I am hoping to the friendship I have with his mom continues. No one at work, my kids, my sister, my friends and family...none of them know and I am not sure I will ever tell them. I guess I just don't want to be judged, you know? So many people who DON'T struggle with their weight, don't understand. They think that if you just set your mind to dieting and exercising, then you should be able to lose the weight. I have even heard people I know make comments that having weight loss surgery is "the easy way out". They have NO IDEA what they are talking about! So for me...telling is not something I elected to do.

I told my mom and three friends at work but that was even hard for me. I was really afraid of their preconceived ideas about losing weight and what the best ways to do it were. My mom has been very supportive, but I'm not telling anyone else in my family. My sister was banded a year ago and she told everyone. She then did not follow the plan, never exercised, and has gone back to normal eating habits. Everyone was very judgmental of her decision and I don't want the same thing to happen to me. Plus, as I was going back and forth on whether I wanted to do this, I decided that I'm doing this for me, not for anyone else. I really don't want or need anyone's opinions on my decision. Although, the support would be nice, I think sometimes people don't understand that what they think is "support" is not really encouraging.

At first I didn't tell anyone other than my husband. Just before surgery I started telling some family and friends. Now I tell alot more people but I'm not telling anyone at work. It's no one's business and the people can be really judgemental and I don't need to be bothered with that.

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