Skip to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

BariatricPal

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.

Join BariatricPal free

  • Ask your own questions
  • Reply and follow topics
  • Message other members
  • No cost, no spam

Where have you BEEN all my life?

I’m so glad to have found a group of people who really understand, but sometimes coming to this board makes me so sad. I’ve felt so alone in my struggles with my weight. I stood there and pretended like I didn’t care

when my father told me I was fat, ugly and stupid,

when my sister complained about gaining 5 pounds and having to buy a size 6,

when my friends went to the club and flirted and learned how to date and talk to boys, while I sat there, invisible,

when my friends went to the beach and I stayed home because I didn’t want to be the sweaty fat girl,

when I went shopping with my friends who did not realize that if there was no Lane Bryant store, there was not one item of clothing in the whole entire mall that would fit on me.

I see that so many of you have led similar lives and it makes me so sad because we’ve all been ashamed. We’ve all been the odd one out. We’ve all pretended like it didn’t bother us. We’re all in so much pain that we’re willing to put our lives at risk to lose weight. I know the surgery is safe, but it’s still surgery, you know?

Maybe I’m just in a “mood,” but I can’t help but think how my life would be so different if ten or fifteen years ago, I had even ONE person who understood. It’s been so lonely.

I’m just glad I found you all now.

  • Replies 7
  • Views 1k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Featured Replies

I agree Jean.

I've often said, I could be in a room full of people, friends, family and still feel alone.

If we could only put our shame aside and enjoy life huh.

God is Good, He brought us all together :)

Hugs !!!

I am glad that you have found a place to be yourself. My theory is that it gets easier as you get older; at least it was true for me. My weight problem really didn't begin until my late 20s, but I know there are so many things I've had to do differently because of it. I blame my attitude toward weight on Twiggy. If you don't know who that is, then you are very young! Why should weight be the issue for which we feel embarrassed? Let's all feel bad about the cause of the problem, instead of the symptom. That should keep us busy! And yes, I do think some weight issues are somehow genetic/body chemistry related...AND I think some of the problems are caused by little ol' me and the way I have chosen to cope with conflict.

I wholeheartedly agree that is great to find all of the supportive and understanding friends here at LBT! Cindy

ahh i feel you completely sleepyjean ...

where have you been in all those endless sadness? :):D

(((sleepy)))

Problem is..when people see overweight people, they only see the weight, POUNDS, nothing further. They don't assume we as a group have the same thoughts, cares, concerns, needs, and problems they do. What can I say, they're idiots.

I count myself truly blessed; I do have a few close (skinny) friends who know my struggle, love me anyway, and are very supportive of me ... regardless of my clothing size.

I'm glad you found us too.

I suppose I have no shame :) I haven't been ashamed of my body in a long, long time. I mean, a really long time. I'm not embarased by my size, as a general rule.

Don't get me wrong, I've felt like my weight has held me back, like it is the one thing in my life I'm a failure-- I've managed to so some remarkable things, but I could never over come my weight.

sleepyjean -

I feel your pain....I can relate to your sadness and I am glad that you are here to share with us these feelings that we so much can relate to.

It will get better....we have hope now!!!

Nancy

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

Account

Navigation

Search

Search

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.