My wife is scheduled for surgery...concerned

[healthierdiva 0]

Congrats Spa! We have the same surgery date! How are you feeling?

[LOJACK 0]

I think your awesome for wanting to support your wife in this new life adventure. My husband is also being supportive as well. I have pre-op appts schedule, but not an actual surgery date scheduled...but it should be about 2wks after first pre-op appts. I am nervous too. It is scary, and I don't want anyone to judge me. I have other health issues that contribute to my needing to have the lap band. It is not just an easy way out for me. My doctor has been trying to get me to do it for over 3yrs and my last reports indiciated I now have to make this change or my health will continue to decline and my weight will continue to increase. Your wife is blessed to have you there for her. I have a question for the fellow bandsters...How long is the post op recovery time...when can i return to work? Thanks for your support.

[A New Woman 1]

I think you deserve a "#1 Supportive Spouse of a Bandster" award! I've never seen a spouse sign on to this board and ask such a thoughtful question. She is a truly lucky woman. Follow the advise the others have given -- don't police her food, allow her to learn from her experiences because it is a learning experience and be extra kind to her during bandster hell when she feels like she did the surgery for nothing (since most people stop losing or even gain during this time and feel like they can eat post-band) -- remind her that she WILL get to her proper restriction in time.

My husband and kids have been great. Like you, my husband was concerned about the aspect of surgery but once he learned the risks and advantages he was on board like you are. Your wife has an advantage in that you know what it's like to struggle with weight. My husband is super thin and can eat a whole pizza and a half gallon of ice cream in one sitting and stay at 150 lbs, but on the other hand he doesn't pick or eat when he's not hungry so he doesn't understand the concept of just stop eating. The one thing my husband has done that has been a great support for me is that when the weather was nice (I live in Michigan) he would go on my walks with me. Actually he's disabled and can't walk long distances so he would ride his Razor scooter while I'd walk. It has become "our" thing to do together every day and it's been great for my weight loss and great for our relationship.

Keep up the awesome work of being the #1 Supportive Spouse and she'll do great. Don't be afraid to ask more questions on here as she goes through the process.

[Cocoabean 430]

My husband does not have a weight problem and never has, so my struggle was never his.

Things my husband does that I love...

He'll say "chew, chew, chew" at the beginning of a meal to remind me, as I tend to eat too fast and take bites that are too big.

He shares meals with me when we eat out. Saves money and calories!

He can identify when I am getting something stuck before I can and will say, "you OK?"

Never blames me if I get stuck, unless I blame myself first, and only then in a loving manner.

Leaves me alone when stuck.

Was right there with the pain meds after surgery.

Things I hate:

He used to tend to be the food police. He's worked hard to knock that off.

When I was getting close to getting to a weight below his he decided to "teach me a lesson" about controlling food intake and started restricting his food and lost about 7 lbs in short order.

Best wishes to both of you!

Denise

[NCIS 0]

Are you for real? Seriously? Do you have a brother or a cousin? If so, here is my advice. Support her. Just support her.

[sndycnrd 1]

Be there for her.

Hold her hand.

Listen - don't talk, dont' scold, just listen.

Don't be the food police.

Listen.

Let her tell you everything - don't judge - just listen.

Oh, did I mention, just listen.

Don't bring her trigger foods into the house.

Tell her you love her no matter what.

For, goodness sakes, LISTEN.:biggrin:

[krstjump03 0]

Are you for real? Seriously? Do you have a brother or a cousin? If so, here is my advice. Support her. Just support her.

ok...so is being snotty really neccessary? I thought this site was to help people...not put them down for inquiring...no matter who they are or WHY they are inquiring. I know my husband has asked why I am not telling people and he doesnt understand and acts aggrevated with me when I tell him my reasoning. And I dont know how my husband is going to respond to my new lifestyle...new eating, exercising etc. I couldnt even get my husband to read the material I brought home. So, if a man is on here inquiring about how to make things easier on his wife, I think that more spouses should take note.

[crzytchr 3]

How long is the post op recovery time...when can i return to work? Thanks for your support.

Ask your surgeon. Most people return within one week, some as soon a couple of days. Physically, you should be ready at one week as long as you don't lift anything over 5 lbs (again, check with your surgeon to be certain). As for me, I needed at least a week off. If you can stay off of work during your post op liquids, do so, since you tend to not have as much energy during this phase.

[chickadee81 0]

My best advice would be to just BE THERE! I was totally depressed after surgery for about 2 weeks (I think because of the pre/post op diet restrictions) and wanted this thing OUT!! I wanted to be normal. My husband was great and listened and never judged or made me feel like maybe I did make a bad decision. Now that i am on soft foods, we have even gone to a restaurant to eat and I feel almost normal again! Also she will need you for things. He had to put on my socks/shoes for about a week. He even had to help me up from the toilet for the few days. When I had to sleep on the recliner, he slept in the living room with me. He is my rock. Be hers! :biggrin:

[A New Woman 1]

ok...so is being snotty really neccessary? I thought this site was to help people...not put them down for inquiring...no matter who they are or WHY they are inquiring. I know my husband has asked why I am not telling people and he doesnt understand and acts aggrevated with me when I tell him my reasoning. And I dont know how my husband is going to respond to my new lifestyle...new eating, exercising etc. I couldnt even get my husband to read the material I brought home. So, if a man is on here inquiring about how to make things easier on his wife, I think that more spouses should take note.

Funny how tone on posts can be intrepreted differently. I read it completely different. I thought she was blown away by his support and that's why she asked if he had a brother or a cousin (so she could hook up with someone like him).

[crzytchr 3]

Funny how tone on posts can be intrepreted differently. I read it completely different. I thought she was blown away by his support and that's why she asked if he had a brother or a cousin (so she could hook up with someone like him).

I also thought she wanted a man just like him.:biggrin:

[Cocoabean 430]

I also wanted to add, he cheers when I let loose a big burp. Burps are good when banded. It means the food is moving along and the banded purson is not stuck.

Might not be ladylike, but it feels soooooo good!

Thanks for being there for her!

Denise

[Cocoabean 430]

Funny how tone on posts can be intrepreted differently. I read it completely different. I thought she was blown away by his support and that's why she asked if he had a brother or a cousin (so she could hook up with someone like him).

Me too!

Denise

[krstjump03 0]

Ok ya'll...you are probably right. I was having a rough afternoon and honestly someone could have told me the sky was blue and I could have very easily taken offense to it. So i apologize for being the snotty one...when i initially read it I took it that his manhood was being attacked....and we can't have that. So yes rej1977....we could all use more men in this world like you! Happy New Year Everyone.

[A New Woman 1]

Ok ya'll...you are probably right. I was having a rough afternoon and honestly someone could have told me the sky was blue and I could have very easily taken offense to it. So i apologize for being the snotty one...when i initially read it I took it that his manhood was being attacked....and we can't have that. So yes rej1977....we could all use more men in this world like you! Happy New Year Everyone.

No, you weren't being snotty. It's easy to mis-intrepret tone on here. You meant well by sticking up for him.