Chooky

Nobody ever said "Hey you are getting really fat these day's". If I am honest I wouldn't of listened anyway but........ Holy Sh***t when did it happen???:thumbup: What has brought this on? Well the whole house is asleep and not a creature is stirring not even a mouse, except for me who was lokking for a book and then started looking at a couple of old photo albums and it has left me in shock. Fat engagement , fat birthdays , fat weddings, (mine and others) fat look at my new baby's , fat on a camel ( i am so sorry but I had lost weight!!!):frown:fat in the pool, fat on holiday.. fat fat fat.... HUGE . My poor baby looked so tiny, I look miserable in all the photo's, I wasn't it was just the way the fat pulled my face down. I feel such sadness looking at this person, which is strange because it's as if I am grieving for someone or something I don't even know. Really its just horriffic to see myself like that and know how bad I felt all the time. 7 Months down the lapband track and lost 40kg I just think of all the hate and anger I carried around all the time, it's like as the wieght has gone that has too. But how do I say sorry to all those people I hid from, or lashed out at because I couldn't stand being me so made up all sort of irrattional ways in my head to excuse myself from the situations or pick at the slightest faults, to hide my huge one, how do I get back those lost years with my babies, who just annoyed me with thier demands for my time and making me do things other mums could and I couldn't, not because of some terrible thing but because i was fat, I can't get it back. How could I of loved food more than them??? I feel truly sorry for that woman who has wasted so much time and hated herself and so many around her for so long and I am sorry for her stupidity because those people still love her and the shame is a killer, but.... I've written this with out a real connection to her, its as if I am looking at someone I knew a long time ago and strangly feel as if I am grieving For Her???????? Moved on and away from her, n ot feeling confused because I am happy and sunny days are fun, not looking over my shoulder for something all the time and wondering whats missing. Well it's her and finding those photo's made me realise it, she's gone and I am moving on and it's sad but it's good, I am done with her and her crap so is my family. I feel everyday I am finding something in me that was always there but I wouldn't look for and its peaceful, its not confused and angry its just nice, there are a lot of butterflies in my garden I never noticed them before but they are everywhere and I just sit and watch them, they just resonate calm, they have always been there year in year out I got told, go figure hey I just noticed them. Peace + calm to you all Cheers Chooky

Switch off the computer!!! or just keep away from the negative sites.. This will change your life. We all have down days and people will vent it gets it out of the system. Overall my bnad experience has been great. Everyday brings something new that I can do. goodluck Chooky

What can you expect???? From my experience... A whole new wonderful Life. goodluck Chooky

I go thru these phases too.. Check my blogs, highs and lows. But 6 months down the track and the lows are less and the moods are evening out some. This is a huge mental undertaking and I always say the band is not around my brain. Hang in there. Have a great day. Cheers Chooky. Like lucky I have also lost over 70lbs

I did the same thing, all I can say is it meant I had more to lose...... Think about it... before you munch, then if your like me you will munch anyway. Cheers Chooky

WOW you must be so tight if tea is not passing straight through for you!!! I had this problem last fill, had .5 of aml put in and went back and got .2 taken out and its better now. Cos as soon as anything came back i closed over and couldn't even swallow spit. Hey my date was 28 May and am now under 200..... good luck Chooky

Be soooo careful.... You want to heal well, it only takes a crumb to rub and bam you swell closed..... good luck chooky

I have noo idea how to cope with the mind games that go on in my head. The food side is easy its just not possible but the rest????? I just ake each day as it comes and work thru the hard moments by doing something else or having a breakdown whichever way I go I have to pick up again and get going. Its a lot easier now and and the act of wanting to eat more is a battle I am winning. Try using a side plate for your meals this way its full not tragically a huge expanse of crockery. Good luck Chooky

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but they have no right what so ever to ram it down your throat. You can only tell mil, keep the basic facts excactly the same and your reasons for the choices you are making simple and try not to get emotional, everytime it comes up use the same facts and reasons. Some people will never accept it, that is their decision and you have to respect that just as they must respect yours. good luck Chooky

:wink2:Well that's the xmas decorating done and the lights on and it's funny to see my 4 year olds face at the tree getting lit up, she thinks it's just the ducks nuts to see all that twinkle twinkle, I just think, thankgod that job is outta the way now I can start on the dish'es. We even made some Santa Button biscuits and due to yesterday's fill and the band in general there will be still biscuits tomorrow. Met a friend for coffee who has'nt seen me for about 30kg and even though it killed her say it she said you just look normal ( thanks to very big knickers and scaffolding for a bra) and that was the best compliment I have ever heard, also because her battle of the fridge and drive thru mirrors my own and we have been on every diet together. Got a text tonite telling me she has rejoined wieght watcher's again. I am so glad I dont have to go through that shit again, like I said before no more mind game's.. Dont get me wrong there are still alot that go on in my head bbut the band has really put paid to 90% of them, you just don't have a chioce when it comes to pigging out after wiegh in anymore because you have a week to get rid of it :eek:That is my biggest gift from the band easy calmness off the head and no constant obession with food anymore.:drool::biggrin: Cheers Chooky

:thumbup:Well that's the xmas decorating done and the lights on and it's funny to see my 4 year olds face at the tree getting lit up, she thinks it's just the ducks nuts to see all that twinkle twinkle, I just think, thankgod that job is outta the way now I can start on the dish'es. We even made some Santa Button biscuits and due to yesterday's fill and the band in general there will be still biscuits tomorrow. Met a friend for coffee who has'nt seen me for about 30kg and even though it killed her say it she said you just look normal ( thanks to very big knickers and scaffolding for a bra) and that was the best compliment I have ever heard, also because her battle of the fridge and drive thru mirrors my own and we have been on every diet together. Got a text tonite telling me she has rejoined wieght watcher's again. I am so glad I dont have to go through that shit again, like I said before no more mind game's.. Dont get me wrong there are still alot that go on in my head bbut the band has really put paid to 90% of them, you just don't have a chioce when it comes to pigging out after wiegh in anymore because you have a week to get rid of it :eek:That is my biggest gift from the band easy calmness off the head and no constant obession with food anymore.:sleep::sleep2: Cheers Chooky

Went for fill yesterday and had the weigh in and it was a flat 100kg!!!! Not 99.9 noooo 100, the nurse said take your pants off , go on, But I didn't because thats just going back to all those mind games that I promised myself I wouln't resort to with the lapband:mellow:I know it says 99 in the mornings so...... It was still dissappointing though. We are going to turn the Christmas lights on tonight and have a bbq, but the next couple of weeks while school finishs up is just pack ed with play's, carol nites, nativity nite (please supply beard) presentaion nite ( please supply pirate custume???) dance concerts and birthdays, plus i have to remember the dog needs her christmas shave and hopefully fit mine in too.:thumbup: So back on liquids for a couple of days now so that should definatley put it under 100 all the time. Off to shop for guinea pigs and drop b1 and b2 at school. Have a great day Cheers Chooky:thumbup:

Went for fill yesterday and had the weigh in and it was a flat 100kg!!!! Not 99.9 noooo 100, the nurse said take your pants off , go on, But I didn't because thats just going back to all those mind games that I promised myself I wouln't resort to with the lapband:mellow:I know it says 99 in the mornings so...... It was still dissappointing though. We are going to turn the Christmas lights on tonight and have a bbq, but the next couple of weeks while school finishs up is just pack ed with play's, carol nites, nativity nite (please supply beard) presentaion nite ( please supply pirate custume???) dance concerts and birthdays, plus i have to remember the dog needs her christmas shave and hopefully fit mine in too.:thumbup: So back on liquids for a couple of days now so that should definatley put it under 100 all the time. Off to shop for guinea pigs and drop b1 and b2 at school. Have a great day Cheers Chooky:thumbup:

HA, I know exactly where you are. Just get through it making the best choices you can. I am over it today. Chooky Happy turkey days

:cool2::cursing:Y Y Y Y am I still so GGRRRRR???????? HELP. The caffine has not fixed it, (I Know it makes it worse). Just biting everybodies heads off and needing to lay down on the floor and go to sleep, like that is gunna happen with 2 kids. Suggestions welcome........ You know what would help A BBBBIIIIGGGGGG juicy steak and mushroom sauce and fries and sour cream and grease and chocolate and all the yummy yummy yummy stuff.:laugh: Right I am off to yell at someone or something.... Cheers Chooky

:cursing::cursing:Y Y Y Y am I still so GGRRRRR???????? HELP. The caffine has not fixed it, (I Know it makes it worse). Just biting everybodies heads off and needing to lay down on the floor and go to sleep, like that is gunna happen with 2 kids. Suggestions welcome........ You know what would help A BBBBIIIIGGGGGG juicy steak and mushroom sauce and fries and sour cream and grease and chocolate and all the yummy yummy yummy stuff.:ohmy: Right I am off to yell at someone or something.... Cheers Chooky

GRRRRR I am so argh today, must be pms....:cool2::cursing::laugh: HAPPY TURKEY DAY to all the americans out there. Christmas is comming and all the choccies are in the study saying eat me.......:angry:Going to take them to mums so I cant eat them before Christmas agian this year. I am just a moody bitch today and grr at anyone who looks sideways at me, this is so not me, give it a coulpe of hours and it will be tears, this is worse today because i will not succumb to the choccies to make things better, although i am sure husband will soon ram them down my throat to shut me up.... God what an awful whingee blog Sorry but today is just the pits. The next few weeks are really busy so this mood will go but ...... I know afew cans of d.coke and a bag of lindt balls would help but i am not doing that anymore and i've been for a walk so the world will have to put up with a p**sed off chooky for today, I will stay inside to limit the damage and not answer the phone. Still 99kg but even that does not lift me today. Sorry Chooky:cursing::ohmy::ohmy:

GRRRRR I am so argh today, must be pms....:cursing::cursing::ohmy: HAPPY TURKEY DAY to all the americans out there. Christmas is comming and all the choccies are in the study saying eat me.......:angry:Going to take them to mums so I cant eat them before Christmas agian this year. I am just a moody bitch today and grr at anyone who looks sideways at me, this is so not me, give it a coulpe of hours and it will be tears, this is worse today because i will not succumb to the choccies to make things better, although i am sure husband will soon ram them down my throat to shut me up.... God what an awful whingee blog Sorry but today is just the pits. The next few weeks are really busy so this mood will go but ...... I know afew cans of d.coke and a bag of lindt balls would help but i am not doing that anymore and i've been for a walk so the world will have to put up with a p**sed off chooky for today, I will stay inside to limit the damage and not answer the phone. Still 99kg but even that does not lift me today. Sorry Chooky:cursing::crying:

Welcome Chris. People just annoy me today (PMS). Nobody would think a crack addict or an alcoholic a failure if they could do something like this to basically save thier lives, noooo it would all be yahoo well done. Well we can and thank god for that and no matter what religion you are god wants us to live and love and support eachother on whatever the journey brings. Good Luck Chooky

don't think I haver felt good, I remember an easter egg hunt when i was 3 and finding the damm basket and not touching it because someone would say trust her to sniff it out. looking back i wasn't even fat!!!!! just not a stick like the other kids. Im glad i had the band because now i am not trying every new thing, and i am losing weight all the time without worrying about any of the crap that goes with it. cheers Chooky

HA HA HA lol a good friend of mine said the same to me. Its not even 12 months and i have lost over 60 lbs and she has gained and lost the same 10lbs over and over. Now hasn't seen me for a few months and we don't really see each other any more. I never set out for a competion and don't see it as one, I need this for me, she must of felt threatened or something. bring it on Chooky

My m.i.l says if ive lost 10lbs im kidding myself, well over 60 lbs and still no comment but as you say plenty before. Spiteful people. or?????? good luck and happy holidays. chooky

:biggrin::biggrin::thumbup:99.6kgs today.. Broke that barrier with 5 weeks to spare. Normally I would celebrate by pigging out, but not anymore!!!!!!!:drool: That's 33kg gone.... woo hoo. Not far to go.... I keep jumping up and down. Cheers Chooky

:biggrin::biggrin::biggrin:99.6kgs today.. Broke that barrier with 5 weeks to spare. Normally I would celebrate by pigging out, but not anymore!!!!!!! That's 33kg gone.... woo hoo. Not far to go.... I keep jumping up and down. Cheers Chooky

no go here either!!!! chooky