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You have to love yourself first and foremost. You’re on the right track. This is for you and no one else. There are plenty of supportive men out there. Learn to love yourself first and foremost then find someone who is worthy of sharing that love.

You have to love yourself first and foremost. You’re on the right track. This is for you and no one else. There are plenty of supportive men out there. Learn to love yourself first and foremost then find someone who is worthy of sharing that love.

I am really missing that social interaction, too... Actually, grieving. Fashion is far more than a fine garment. Here is a lovely note written from leather artisan who made this stunning customized belt for me this past winter. Designed to wear front, side or back. Never had an opportunity to wear it out as yet. ;[ We must go shopping together someday! I adore black. Neutrals. And, a pop of color or pattern once in a while.

Bananas, strawberries, soy skyr, chocolate sauce and a coffee banana muesli mix.

Thrilled to have lost enough weight that I can now avoid incontinence issues. Haven't had accident in over a week. A new life for sure.
Sent from my SM-T580 using BariatricPal mobile app

Happy to report that I'm up 3.5lbs since my 6/3 request for help. The slider foods have been a life saver, literally! I have more energy and a generally positive outlook already!

Thank you all so very much!

Hi everyone!
I hope everyone is doing great . I wanted to come here and share an update with you all. I had VSG in December and I’m so glad I did. Best decision ever! As of today I have lost 67 pounds and I’m am officially a healthy BMI! I can’t believe my clothes are a size small and extra small. I used to wear 2x! I am so happy. So much hard work and dedication goes in to this. This is def not the easy way out. A lot of sweat and tears to reach my goal. I workout every day. I purchased a bowflex since the gyms have been closed for a while now. I no longer eat meat, that was a huge change for me. Suddenly my stomach can’t handle meat at all. So I’m a pescatarian now. I still have at least a Protein Shake a day. My doctor said if I enjoy them I can continue to drink them, so I do. I used to be obsessed with sweets, I no longer like anything sugary. I went through a crazy Hair loss for a few weeks. I was getting concerned since it was so much hair loss. Luckily it seems to have subsided. I no longer need my asthma medication daily, I have been on remission from RA and I haven’t had Migraines in months! Even my GERD got better 😊. It feels great to see my doctors and have them congratulate me on my progress. There were plenty of times where stalls happened, or I felt I wasn’t losing as fast as other people. That’s when I took a step back and stopped comparing my journey to others; I started enjoying mine. I realized it’s not a race and eating healthy and being active I will surely lose the weight at my own pace.
Sending everyone lots of positive thoughts and vibes. I hope you all are healthy and keep pushing. ❤️

I wanted to share a "time lapse" of pictures of my transformation over the past 3 years 7/2017 - 5/2020. I have lost weight, exercised and I have my life back and I am living it again. All of us are here to fight this demon and I wanted to show my pictures as encouragement to show it can happen. Will I be a size 2? Probably not, but I am happier than ever with my life and myself. I am currently pursuing removing my stomach skin with my original surgeon due to recurrent abdominal and navel infections. We shall see what the insurance says about it all.
💗

To each their own. One person's "rush" is another person's lifetime.
I booked my PS consults ONE WEEK after reaching goal weight (7 months after WLS). Had the actual PS surgeries 7 months later, (14 months after WLS)...and only because it was the earliest he could get me on his schedule.
He (nor the other 3 surgeons I consulted with) had any time requirement to be at a stable weight. In fact, I lost another 12 lbs by the time surgery came around.
At the time, my surgeon seemed to be more concerned about further weight loss after surgery than weight gain, at least in theoretical terms of how the skin at the the incision lines *may* have an undesirable "pucker" look depending on how your the scars heal. He said a 10lb loss would probably have more undesirable look-effects than a 20lb gain...but again depending on how your scars heal. In terms of weight gain, he said possible effects would be widening of scars (again depending on how you heal, AND how much you gain).
I figure if I gain or lose weight in the future, and don't like how it looks, then I will do whatever I am prepared to do at that time to address it then. Maybe I'll have to re-tool my diet/exercise to "re-fit" my skin, maybe I'll have another surgery, maybe I won't care. But TODAY, I am completely and totally happy with my decision to get what I got and the timeline it was performed. Bring on bikini season!!!
Do what makes YOU happy and what is in your means to do so.
Good Luck!
P.S. I am really excited for you though...PS is a GAME CHANGER.

Knowing myself on the Autism spectrum I am not able to put to words properly my reaction to this. I think it makes me feel a little like someone saying it’s just hype and not a good thing and that I’m somehow wrong. I reached goal surprisingly early I think June would be four months at a Pretty stable weight. Whatever the numbers are I agree with @ChubRub I’ve lived in this body most of my life not wanting to be in pictures and hating always fighting against my weight hating it and hiding from mirrors and cameras. It goes so far back to being bullied on school including the school. Being made to feel less than. Always fighting my constant medical battles and being clouded by my weight and knowing my weight wasn’t the cause but what did they care. Having reached the lowest weight I’ve ever been my skin can’t magically snap into place or look good. It’s also a part of my lifelong medical history. It just seems odd to guilt people by saying a post on a forum means people are obsessed with rushing into surgery. But there is always a story behind why. And we don’t do it unless we feel it adds to our overall weight loss journey and success.

im paying a price not just monetary to achieve this. I need this both for the physical problems the excess skin causes, the fact that strengthening my core might help chronic back problems, and also my own mental well being. And now felt like time.
sometimes that’s what matters. It’s not about trendy. It’s about personal need. I’m sorry if that statement got to me. It hurt a little bit. I’m doing my best. I’ve got not much else in my life I’m losing a lot and I just wish to have a body I never could while I’m still able to achieve it ..

I don't know if it's a BP thing or just a ChubRub thing! LOL!! If I have PS in January, it will be 13 months after WLS, which does seem rushed...
The thing is, for me personally, I lived in a body I've hated for way too many years. Yesterday I was trying to find a "before" picture to compare my weightloss, and the only one I could find was from 2004 at my sister's bridal shower, and only b/c it was a pics someone else took. In the past 10 years, I've been to Italy, France, Mexico, the Bahamas, Disney, etc. I have pics of my husband and my kids on those trips, but none of me (unless you count my face only as I would hide my body behind my kids).
If I died today, my kids would have very few pics to remember me. I just want that to end, as soon as possible. I want to live my best life, and feel proud of the way I look for a change!! I plan on taking thousands of pictures to make up for the many years I lost!!
Also, I do think that people are more likely to keep the weight off when they've has PS, which is another benefit!!
Obviously, everyone needs to make the best choice for themselves!

My thighs have a lot of loose skin, but when I look at before/after thigh lift pics, I'm not blown away by the difference. I decided to do my tummy and boobs, and I figure if the tummy and boob are banging, then people won't notice my thighs so much! LOL!!

Sometimes it is hard to live by...but I do try...'What anyone else thinks of me is none of my business'

-Highest weight was over 250 lbs (I stopped weighing myself after that)
-Lowest weight 140
-Currently, I fluctuate between 150-155
-I exercise 5-6 days a week. MOSTLY weight lifting. I lift heavy weight (meaning: I rep until I hit failure, between 8-12 reps; if I can lift it more that 12 times, I go up in weight). Very little cardio, maybe 10-15 minutes before or after a workout. Sometimes none.
-Food: I track my macros and calories. I make sure to hit my Protein goals everyday (so important for muscle growth/maintenance), and my carbs vs fats will fluctuate based on my activity. Higher carbs on intense workout days, lower carbs on off days or low activity days. So, calories stay the same, protein stays the same, how many carbs or fats varies based on activity.

Biggest Lesson Learned:
In your first year of guaranteed weight loss, take the time to change your habits & lifestyle. THIS HAS TO BE A LIFESTYLE CHANGE! Get rid of the trigger foods. Most of those trigger foods are sliders! As your stomach stretches and you get passed that year mark those sliders will slide right past your sleeve much easier than your Proteins & veggies. Those slider foods become your “grazing” food, too. Then, before you know it, despite your restriction, you’ve grazed your way into a calorie surplus and you’re no longer losing & start gaining. Plan 5-6 meals a day so that you feed your metabolism and you are never starving & risking over eating.

Also: EXERCISE. Incorporate that exercise. Go for that walk. Bike ride. Treadmill. Weights. SOMETHING. Tired, not tired, make exercise a habit and JUST. DO. IT. I mean this literally: SUCK IT UP & DO IT. You might just find—later down the road—something that you enjoy and become passionate about. This was my experience with powerlifting 2 years post-op.

Superman, everyone likes naturally pretty or cute girls. That's the problem. Our society places high value on physical beauty, and not everyone is naturally pretty or cute. By your own admission, you like pretty and cute - not plain or less than average. Women know this and they want to be more attractive......... which is why they have the surgeries. Most women who have plastic surgery do not do it because they "feel they need to be fake." They do it because they feel their bodies need some intervention to meet societal standards of beauty.

I just want to thank every one here for there support. As of Thursday evening my story has completely changed. I will post a copy on this topic.
I'm almost afraid to say it, but at the same time I feel like I need to go outside and shout it from the roof tops! I feel amazing! I am an entirely new person. These first two months from surgery have been the most trying time in my entire life. Most days I couldn't get out of bed, and I wanted nothing more than to lay there and die. I struggled for the first month with muscle pain so severe I couldn't move. After that I struggled debilitating nausea. It got so bad that I hadn't eaten in over a month. On the rare occasion I would try the food would come right back up. Early last week it got so bad that I could no longer keep down Water. At this point I had been in the hospital 5 times for dehydration and different tests. I was taking protonix, Zofran, scopolamine Patches, Reglan, and I was wearing sea bands for motion sickness. None of these things could even take the edge off my nausea. My CT and my Upper GI were clear. My surgeons team kept telling me jit was all in my head. I was so severely depressed and felt like I had no where to go. I was beginning my surgeon for an EDG and she was refusing to give me one. After being unable to keep Water down for two days I went back to the ER and finally demanded I get the care I deserved. I was not going to leave there without answers. I was immediately admitted upon arrival where they found that my potassium levels were dangerously low. Lower than they have ever seen. I was given 6 bags of potassium and countless bags of Fluid to clear the dehydration. I also demanded the do the scope. The scope found slight narrowing that was able to be fixed on the spot. I don't know if it's the scope or the fluids, or potassium that cured me, but whatever it was I finally have my life back. I wake up ready to live every single day! I'm taking half the anti depressants I was before. I hated hated hated hated hated hearing people say it gets better. I was so convinced there was no way out for me. I would lay in bed waiting to die. But it got better. It got so much better. I am living breathing proof that it can all change. I encourage anyone struggling the way I did to advocate for themselves, the doctors and surgeons won't do it for you. I still can't say I would do this all over again, currently I am still too traumatized, but I have learned so much from this surgery. I had this surgery for myself and it was like I had forgotten that after surgery. I needed to still be fighting for myself. I know this is long but I just hope my story can help.

For me there is no such thing as a Maintenance Phase to this.
Since surgery, I have learned how to eat all over again, good foods, small portions, etc etc.
It is NOT a diet as was before surgery. I've been on numerous, countless diets and know all about the different phases including Maintence....THIS is something different.
Because of that, my weight slowly and consistently came off....untill my body decided it has reached what it considers normal.
Not my goal as if I can turn this on and off....I can't...it's surgery.
And because of a New Normal lifestyle, my body weight, etc, has adjusted to that new normal.....
And I will continue living this new way for the rest of my life.
I eat and exercise a certain way now, and my body adapted to that way and there it will stay...so No Maintenance....
I live and eat the same way people who have never been fat live and eat....

Great job!!!

So I’ve been trying to get pictures every month to allow ME see the progress. I was sleeved 1/7/20. LOOK!

Newsflash. Some women like sex for themselves, not just for their man. This news may help you throughout the rest of your life.

Good points!! I think I went all in too soon. I quit carbonated drinks first thing, but then also tried to follow the diet to a “T” and probably needed to take it a little slower. I’m just at the beginning so I can hopefully get back on track. Thanks so much for your input!

I tried to look at my time of preparing to submit to insurance (which was my first hurdle) as a way to get my head wrapped around the idea that things are getting ready to rapidly change. The first month I tried to be more mindful of what I was eating and drinking and that led to a reduction in sugar consumption. The next month I gave up sugar for the most part, but allowed myself to have an indulgence now and again. I kept adding things month by month that I was watching, still allowing myself to indulge every once in an while if I chose to.
Funny thing was, because I was allowing those indulgences, I found I didn't need to take them as often. I've not had a diet work for me, ever, for long. I've been doing this for the past 6 months and am down 45 pounds as of this morning. And that is without seeming to really try.
Echoing Cammy, when you get the cravings, try to remind yourself of why you have taken this step towards WLS. Put up motivational sayings, or pictures, or whatever will remind you around the house. If you have a favorite outfit that you want to fit into again, pull it out so you can anticipate getting into it comfortably.
Also, come out here frequently to the boards. Knowing I'm not alone in my journey really helps me keep my head in the game. In these uncertain times, I'm taking it day by day and hour by hour. I choose not to indulge for right now; maybe later. Eventually, later is a lot later.
This is a lot longer winded than I anticipated, sorry if I'm rambling. I hope all the best for you in your journey and believe that you can be all you can be, one step at a time.
((HUGS))

It’s so hard. So many years of thinking that way. Thanks so much for your input, you’re right. Why keep sabotaging myself?! It helps to know there are others out there who have gone through it. Thank you!

I was the same way. When I first started my journey in October I was half-assing it. I somehow managed to lose 4 pounds that month. And the next two months I lost another 4 pounds each month. It wasn’t until my surgery was postponed due to insurance that I took it serious. Just do your best and commit to it as much as you can. Yes, the mind games will come. But you’ve got determine your why. Why do you want this? Why do you want to spend the next 6 months preparing for something that is ultimately going to change your life and your body as you know it for the better?

I was tired of my back hurting anytime I walked just a little bit or stood for more than a few minutes. I was tired of not being able to bend over and tie my own shoes. I was tired of not being able to play with my niece and nephew because I was so out of breath. I was tired of isolating myself because I hated the way i looked. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired! When the mind games comes remember your goal. Remember your why. You can do it.

With all that’s going on in the world I’m finding it difficult to not stress eat on this 6 month diet. I mess up then tell myself “I still have 3 weeks before my next weigh in appt.” I’m right at 40 BMI so that’s another game I play. “I need to stay there so I can qualify (although I will still even if I lose weight). So I need to know, how do I get my head on straight? How do I stop making all these excuses? What has helped you?