Arabesque

Great post @ms.sss. Yes, there are ups & downs but the ups are so much greater & better than any downs. Last night I caught a glimpse of my reflection in my kitchen French doors. Look at those skinny legs I thought and smiled to myself. I love that I was exuberantly dancing at my niece’s wedding without a care and not concerned that people might be thinking look at the far girl trying to dance. I love putting on clothes and having them fit. Prior to my surgery I never knew what would fit me that day, or whether something I’d worn last week, month or year would still fit. It was a fear I had to confront every day. Now, what ever I grab, the zips whoosh up, buttons don’t pull or gape, & nothing is tight around my waist. I even find joy in slipping through narrow spaces - yelping can do that now. These might be little and unimportant things to some but to me they’re huge achievements. And I agree @Spinoza I love the ups enough to keep myself motivated. And even when things get me down, I don’t just give up. I pick myself up again - sometimes it may take a couple of weeks but up I get.

Oh that’s good news. Hopefully the time will fly by and you’ll be approved and will be going for your surgery before you know it. Good things are ahead. Congrats on your new job too.

There are no real rules around how much weight you will lose, around how long it will take to lose your weight or how much of your weight you will lose. What you will get is averages/generalisations and with them there are always people who will be below or above that range and there’s nothing wrong with that at all. Comparing yourself to others only messes with your head. Remember you are losing weight and that is amazing. As for not losing anything in the last 11 days I’d say you are experiencing your first stall. Commonly known as the three week stall though it can happen before that time or after. It happens to almost every single person. It likely won’t be the first stall you experience. They trend to last anywhere from one to three weeks. They can be very frustrating and you can start to think you’re failing. You’re not. Think of your stall as your body going what the hell are you doing to me & then shutting down until it reassesses your new needs in response to your weight loss so far. Stick to your plan. The stall will break when your body is ready to move forward again. And when it does you usually notice a sudden drop in your weight. You’re doing great.

I think it was around that 30/40lb mark too. I always felt colder than others regardless of my weight (except when I was having a hot flush 😉) and always had a wardrobe of overcoats but I became crazy cold. And like @ms.sss the freezer & refrigerated sections at the grocery story became my nemesis. Still is as are cinemas, delis, restaurants, theatres, doctors’ offices, hospitals, …. many places. I keep a double knit long wrap coat (it’s like a blanket) in my car as well as a wool wrap. I have a number of cotton and light wool cardigans I often take with me in summer. If you’ve started running hotter then most ist may take longer for you to start to feel cold and then you may only feel a little cooler not ice cold like some of us. It was 102 degrees here yesterday and humid! So HOT! I had the air conditioner on at 80 but it was still too cold & I had a blanket on my lap. (Crazily it’s 66 today. I’m freezing & seriously considering putting a heater on.) PS - Congrats on your weight loss so far.

You have come a long way and that’s what you have to keep reminding yourself @Mspretty86. And it is a f**king demon & we need our inner Buffy to kick its butt. I don’t think we will ever slay the demon but we can take away a lot of its power. And gripe away anytime. Sometimes just talking/writing about the thing that is driving you crazy will show you a way forward, make you look at the issue a different way or show you you’re not alone.

There are lots of things that are frustrating or annoying even after we lose the weight. Six+ years out and there are times I still get frustrated. I was annoyed last night as I was trying to sleep & my abdominal poltergeist was groaning and whining and rattling chains after having a mouthful of water. Some nights I toss and turn because my bony joints make it hard to find a comfortable position to sleep. Ggrrr! But, yes let’s share our gripes and frustrations so we know we’re not alone in our feelings & that particular annoyance may not be forever. As to your gripe, & not to take away from it, I think I’m in two minds about it@Mspretty86. There’s a side of me that wants to celebrate that you don’t have food cravings any more. And to celebrate you don’t get the same dopamine hit. It implies you aren’t ruled by your head hunger any more. You aren’t looking at food to make you feel better, happier, etc. That emotional high was always short lived and you’d go looking for food again to give you that high once more. That cycle is what led many to being obese. If you don’t experience that any more that is a huge win. The other side is I feel sad that you don’t have any joy in eating, of the flavours, smells, & textures. That first crunch and burst of sweetness when you bite an apple. The sharp & salty zing when you bite a pickle. The creamy goodness of the first lick of ice cream. The smell of freshly baked apple pie. … I’m hoping you are in an interim stage when you’re still recognising what the difference between eating only to make you feel better and eating to enjoy the pleasures of the food & the stimulation of your senses means for you. And the difference between thinking eating will help your emotional or mental health versus eating that will help your physical health. I’m eating lunch as I write. Am I craving what I’m eating? No. Am hoping it will make me feel better or happier? No. Am I eating quickly to try to get that dopamine hit sooner? No. Am I enjoying each bite, the crunch of the multi grain cracker, the smooth creaminess of the liverwurst and salty mouth puckering tang of the pickled onion? Yes, but it’s no more than this. Sorry for the long reply. Hope you can see there may be a light ahead of you.

Yes that’s exactly why. Your centre of balance has changed and you’re holding and moving your body differently then before. Have you noticed your posture is changing? I can’t recall how long the aches and discomfort lasted though but one thing helped a lot with my upper back pain was buying a new bra. I was still wearing my old 18E bras after losing 20kgs & they really were too big. I tried to get an appointment with my acupuncturist for the pain but ended up having a therapeutic massage with his partner. He commented on my weight loss & I jokingly said I might need new underwear to help my back pain. It got me thinking. I got properly fitted and had dropped to a 12F!! My back pain reduced significantly. I dropped two more sizes over the months. I only bought a couple of good supportive bras each time as it was a little expensive & supplemented with some inexpensive bralettes (Bonds/Haynes) until my weight & bra size stabilised. PS - Have you experienced any bone pain yet? Bony butt, bony shoulders, bony wrists, etc. can be awful. It happens as you lose your comfort padding. It does get better but I still have issues if I sit too long & as a side sleeper my shoulders, knees and ankles can still hurt if I don’t position myself carefully. Oh & wait for the impact of losing your insulation - you’re always cold even in the middle of summer.

Sorry to hear this @Hop_Scotch . Sadly, it’s becoming quite common these days & in men too. Too many sedentary jobs, increased alcohol & caffeine consumption, poor diets, etc. don’t help. If you do need to go the prescription route, there are many alternatives to prolia these days you might like to investigate. Friend has just had her first annual zoledronic acid IV. She wouldn’t do prolia for years as she was concerned about the side effects - she’s a worst case scenario person so did lots of research. Another is on a once a week oral tablet. She went down the diet and lifestyle route initially but as she is on her 2nd valve replacement, the increasing cholesterol from the high dairy diet was becoming a concern. A third is doing a once a month injection (Evenity). Apparently these newer medications are beneficial for those with early stage osteoporosis and sometimes don’t have to be lifelong treatments. Prolia I believe is better for more advanced cases and are usually a lifelong treatment. Are you on HRT? That will help too.

After surgery is generally the accepted advice unless you need it before on the pre surgery diet. Take Benefibre or a similar soluble fibre daily after surgery. Take stool softener only if you are constipated. I’d also pick up some Imodium because some experience diarrhoea in the first week or two (& watch for wet farts). You will find you don’t poop every day after surgery simply because you’re not eating much & you’re poop will be smaller but if you find you’re not going after 3 or more days then reach for the stool softener or other constipation aid. Some swear by miralax, others smooth tea, I took coloxyl. Try not to let it go too long as it can become painful and you can risk damage. Of course every one has different needs You’ll get into a routine that works best for you. I’d take one coloxyl if I didn’t go on day 3 & that was enough. It became I’d take one on day 2 as I got closer to maintenance & was eating more. By this time the constipation didn’t happen regularly & I was getting back into my regular pooping routine. All the best.

It’s always busy at the Chermside one and their range is enough to tempt a saint. As you know I generally avoid sweets but when my nephew looked at me with his big eyes and asked if I would have one too I couldn’t say no. And yes it was yummy? 😁

Took my nephew on a shopping trip for his 8th birthday and we each had a macron to celebrate at a boulangerie patisserie. (He also had a jam donut!) Mine was a lemon meringue. The lemon helped cut the sweetness. No tiny bugs like you had @GreenTealael thank goodness.

We always want what we can’t have. Yes, this is pretty common & as @summerseeker said it’s head hunger. Learning the difference between head (want) and real (need) hunger is one of the big learnings. Though at the moment your head is probably trying to convince you your hunger is real because you’re eating so little. Unfortunately it does take timer to recognise the difference and to discover what strategies work best for you to manage the head hunger. A good place to start is to identify if the hunger is for a specific food, flavour (like salty or sweet) or texture (like crunchy). That’s head hunger. Real hunger can be different for different people. I usually feel restless and it takes time to realise I’m hungry. I don’t crave a specific food, flavour or texture. And there is usually a logical reason why I would be hungry like I missed a meal or I didn’t eat much at an earlier meal. Distraction is a pretty effective strategy when trying to manage head hunger. Read a book, go for a walk, craft, play a game, ring a friend or family member, etc. Often a warm drink like a herbal tea can help. All the best.

Eeewww! What did they say when you showed them? Nothing wrong with boring food choices. That’s my usual everyday. 😁

I think that is a concern and maybe why you should lodge a complaint @BigSue: if her comments made you feel like this what is she saying to those staring out or early on the journey. Have to admit I did think I bet she’s never had to battle with her weight at any point in her life. May be in your complaint suggest the need for a program to support those like you who are more advanced, informed and been maintaining successfully for a number of years. I think that’s a great idea & there would be others like you at the clinic. It would be an incentive for everyone to keep up with check ins and to check they’re still on the best path for them.

It takes time for your head to catch up with the reality of how you look as you’re losing and when you’ve stabilised. Many of us could share stories of not recognising ourselves or misjudging sizing even well into maintenance. I saw a woman wearying the same outfit as me & thought oh she’s so slim & looks better in it than me then realised it was me in a reflection. You’ll find too that others have the same issue: they see you as you were not as you are & will continue to do so for some time. The other thing is that some notice your weight loss but are reluctant/scared to say anything in case there is an upsetting reason behind it like a serious illness. Wait until the other extreme though & you get those ‘well meaning’ but judgemental comments from people like telling you you’ve lost too much weight. Keep taking the pxts of yourself (measuring yourself can also be helpful) & eventually you’ll start to see the reality of your weight loss & others will too. Congratulations on what you’ve achieved so far. Excited to hear more about your continued success.

OMG how rude. Can you report her? Can you request she doesn’t meet with you again! An important component of her role is to be supportive yet she tore you down and made you doubt yourself. Did she even actually read your file and review your progress? Seems like she just looked at the number on the scales and made judgement. I mean how many times do we tell each other not to focus on just the number on the scale. I have admired your progress and successful maintenance over the years @BigSue. You have been a great mentor & role model here & I am so angry that this person has damaged your confidence. My follow ups are 6 monthly and I see a doctor. (I’ll be seeing her again in a couple of weeks.) She reviews my bloods, has a chat with me about any things I’ve noticed, have concerns about, happy about, etc. Yes, she does weigh me but generally makes no comment excepted to maybe to say about the same as last time. When I saw her 6 months ago, I was having issues of weight gain (which was strongly hormonally driven) and we discussed that but she never once spoke to me about what I ate. I know if the gain had continued I know I could have rung her and asked for further support and advice. As you may recall, I was never a food tracker. I still do random checks of calories, protein and fluids though. And I like to ensure I’m getting in a balance of nutrient sources so ensure I have fruit, vegetables, complex grains, dairy, seeds & nuts & meat every day and occasionally legumes. I have no idea how many carbs I eat or fat for that matter. I just know I have 2 - 3 serves of carbs a day. Remember you know your body best. Your fluctuations, your general health and well being, what you need to support your activity routines & for your body to function, etc. You know if you’re retaining fluid, constipated, been unwell, where you carry loose skin, your muscle development & if there have been any changes in your usual routines lately (like a bit more socialising, been on holidays, work been more stressful,…). Are your clothes tighter? Is your general doctor happy? I’d give her a big F you & stick to what you’ve been doing. PS - You look great in that pxt.

With food or immediately after. As Alex said some hit hard and cause nausea which then stops you from eating & getting in the nutrients you need. I had trouble taking my 2 multis at the same time even with taking them with food so I took one in the morning and one at night. Still had some nausea but not as much. Also you need to watch some combinations. For example don’t take your calcium and iron at the same time, nor vitamin B12 with vitamins. There are others too Also don’t take iron with drinking tea & coffee as the caffeine & polyphenols hinder the absorption by 60+% .) In those cases spread out when you take your meds so you’re not reducing the effectiveness i.e. breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Dining out can cause some issues post surgery not only if you’re still losing but also if you’re maintaining. When you have no choice where you are eating or even if you do, there are some things to keep in mind I’ve found helpful: portion sizes and eating slowly. At a smorgasbord, instead of grabbing a large plate and filling it, take a smaller or side plate and put small tastes of food on it. All because others are getting up for seconds (or thirds), you don’t have to as well. Most places have online menus, so check those out before you go so you can identify some options or work out what modifications you may be able to request. At fine dining restaurants, the portion sizes are more appropriate so a main meal is usually fine. At others where portions are more generous, your appetisers are often a better option. You don’t have to order two or three courses just because others are. Best advice is to make the best food choices you can in the situation. It’s not like you’re making less desirable choices regularly & if you’re back on track after it will have little or no impact. You have to be able to enjoy your life & that includes socialising with friends.

@BigSue is right on point. It is possible to continue to lose weight into your second year or longer but it will be slow. I reached goal at 6 months but lost for another 11 or so months. Those last couple of months I was losing grams a week. So you never know what’s ahead of you or how long it will take. A thing to remember is that it will take fewer calories to maintain a lower weight. If you want to lose another 40 odd pounds you may have to be consuming much the sane number of calories as you are now to lose & maintain your sane activity. This is why many are quite happy to regain a few pounds after they reach their lowest weight, as the reduced calorie intake to maintain that lower weight isn’t sustainable for them. You don’t want to feel like you’re restricting calories & ‘dieting’ for the rest of your life. Use this time as you’re losing your last lot of weight to develop a way of eating that is sustainable in the long term and compliments your lifestyle. Congratulations on what you’ve achieved so far and all the best for where you may achieve next.

Okay breathe. Don’t worry yet. Undergo the stress test and see what those results say. There’ll likely be two options: everything is okay &/or within acceptable parameters & you can proceed with your surgery or they say things aren’t right and you can’t proceed with the surgery. If you can’t proceed, though disappointing, isn’t it better to have the blood flow issue identified and then began the steps to have something done to remedy that then an issue arise during your surgery? Yes there are cases where health issues are picked up during the pre surgery checks. Finding hernias, or high cholesterol, etc, are not uncommon. For many of us, we haven’t undergone health checks in a while or ever had some of the tests like an EKG or endoscopy or whatever you were required to do which is why an issue may be picked up. My GP is vey thorough and examines my results carefully and will send me first further tests or to specialists if she thinks something doesn’t seem right. Sometimes it’s nothing. Sometimes it is something. But I’m always glad she cares about my health. Sounds like your PCP is just as caring about your health. Keep us updated.

Don’t worry it will get better in a few days. Usually the first 5 days or so are the hardest. Headaches, lack of energy, nausea, irritability, brain fog. etc. They’re withdrawals symptoms from the reduced sugar, caffeine, carbs. Apparently, my surgeon’s team used to call the first week ‘hell week’ for patents. All the best. Exciting times ahead.

Sometimes finding an hour or two (with travel) to go to the gym is difficult. Try to find alternatives that you can slot in at random times during your day. Incidental activity can be just as beneficial and you don’t have to do all your exercise in one block of time. Exercise snacking, that is doing short boosts of activity, is like food snacking It all adds up across your day. Any activity is good. Catch public transport to work? Get off a couple of stops before and walk the rest of the way. Drive to work? Park further away. Same at shopping centres or going to appointments. - park further away from where you’re going. Go for a walk in your lunch break. Wear some weights on your ankles &/or wrists or a weighted vest. Take stairs & not elevators. Walk up escalators or travelators. Buy some weights & resistance bands to use at home. Finding a block of 10-15 mins in the morning &/or at night is often more manageable. You can even do it watching tv or waiting for dinner to cook. I’m an exercise snacker. I do 5 sessions of activity across my day. A couple are less than 5 minutes and others are up to 10 minutes so more than 30 mins a day. Plus as an extra, when I do my 30 mins on my acupressure mat, I rock my hips (back & forth, forward & back, round & round) so constantly moving. My aim was to regain my flexibility, develop lean muscle (not bulk) & support my back, and keep up my bone density.

Remember too you will have a weight limit in what you can carry for a few weeks (so you don’t pull your internal sutures & staples & strain internal muscles have been knocked about). So you may have to consider how you get into & out of your truck and if you have to load or unload what you’re carrying.

First, there is no such thing as a pouch reset. It’s an old wives tale that does the rounds of weight loss circles. What you need to reset is your head. That is your thinking about eating: what you eat, why you eat, how much you eat, when you eat, etc. Secondly, your weight is always fluctuating. You probably never noticed it before as you likely didn’t weigh yourself as frequently as you are now. You don’t eat & drink the exact same things in the exact sane amounts every day. You may not work out as hard or work out harder one day compared to another. You may pee more frequently or less frequently. You may be constipated or have some diarrhoea. And so on. In time once you reach maintenance, you may notice you have a natural fluctuation. Mine was a kilogram (2.2lb)so I’d bounce between 48.5 - 49.5. Some find they have a larger fluctuation they bounce around. When in the losing phase, you may find it more helpful, to graph your weight and then focus more on the trend rather then your exact weight. Always remember, weight loss never follows a consistent and regular decrease. It bounces around, goes up and down & plateaus. All is perfectly normal. So if the trend on your graph is downwards you’re golden and don’t worry about the fluctuations. Also be consistent with your weighing. Same time, clothing, toilet routine, … For example I weigh myself in my underwear, first thing in the morning, before breakfast and after I’ve peed and pooped. I don’t worry too much about the weight on the scale if my routine has varied that day. Don’t give up based on a number on the scale.

Going through my jewellery (gracious, how styles have changed over the years) and discovered a Swarovski hinged bangle my parents bought me for Christmas many, many years ago. It had never fit & I should have exchanged it at the time but never did. Surprise, surprise it now fits if a little big as it swings around a bit.