Frustr8

Me too, at a 20 teetering on the brink of 18, started out a 28-30W. No longer do I have to ask "Hmmmm where are your largest clothes hanging?" No longer do I look at me in bra and panties and break down crying unceasingly, increasing my I can rotate , only take 2 mirrors instead of 3 or more to visualize myself. Oh, I am still a project that hasn't finished but now I have been given a transplant of HOPE and DREAMS for my future. No longer do I have to ask in a quavering voice," Is THAT all there is?" for there is much still ahead and I will live to see it all! AND THAT IS THE GIFT? THAT IS THE COOLEST THING OF ALL! ??❤?

I asked mine if he was fearful of my age? Will my recovery be more difficult than if I was in my 30s, 40s or 50s? I live 50 miles away, what are the things that a trip to Columbus is neccesary; what can I handle on my own? How long will I be hospitalized? These were things I asked. Something that impressed me, my son attends my appointments as a rule as I do his. He came over to other side of examination room, shook my son's hand and said " I promise, I will take very good care of your Mama!" oh I had liked him already but he gained future respect with that action. And now I can proudly say I am the oldest patient he has done surgery on, so not only do I want a good outcome for me, but for him also. I never want him to feel he made a mistake doing mine. On their website there are wrists,ipatients who relate their own stories. It is one of my goals to achieve a great of success so I also too can tell of my journey. There may be others who feel their chances have passed them by, they are too old, too nearly broken down by weight and life, time has passed them by. I want to show them , Don't give up, Something can be done, it is not a quick transit to better health but even at 70+ there is hope, a place willing to work with you towards a better life. Maybe then in part, I can show my great gratitude for the changes in my own life.

A couple years back I hand- made 2 skirts, of course they would fall down on me so I am sewing belt loops on the denim one. Would you believe when I originally cut it out my hips were bigger than 60 inches ? so I had to set an extra panel in because denim is sold in 60 inch width. Oh how things have changed in my shape, I am No longer built like salami sausage! I want to cut it down , maybe I can turn the extra panel into a vest or something when I make goal? Sure a lot less of me than awhile back, so glad my body is remodeling. Don't know who I will finally be but I could be smoking hot!?,?

Hey oakbay, it's Frustr8, how are you doing now? I have had I think 13 endoscopies, first one my ENT did transnasaly, we kind of b tricked my insurance on that. See I had a pretty severe pre-aurical cyst, right in front of my right ear opening, this kooky anomaly runs in my family through my daddy. His never gave him a moment's trouble, both my daughter and I had flare-ups where it would get infected, gather into a boil type thing and then skin would break, and pus would come out. I know TMI, too much info but there is a reason I'm relating this. My daughter had to have her one, we both had pinholes on both ears,only one flared, but she was only 5 years old.c Mine I kept longer, clear into late adulthood, okay at this time July of 2014, I had a pretty bad flare. United Healthcare which I had at this time,regarded such cyst removal, even if I had a chance to develop septicemnia as purely cosmetic, just a vanity surgery. But they would cover an Endoscopy happily. So offically that's what it was billed as. The next one was done June 2015. as a follow-up to acute pancreatitis. And the last in my home town was done December 2017 as part of my pre- surgical testing with different specialities. I. am told I had another one during my RNY surgery,by Dr Needleman , guess he wanted to make sure I had not changed anatomically from the previous one, I must have passed because I did get my surgery, those were my EGDs, subsequent to bypass surgery , the duodenum can no longer be visualized. So from then on they are technically EGJ, the surgical endoscopies look now at your jejunem. So the rest of them started October 12, 2018, a month and week after my RNY. Attempts are made each time to stretch and dilate the opening, my pouch was so inflamed and had 3 ulcers present next to the opening which was shrunk to a tiny pinhole opening. First 2 were 2 weeks apart, and then at slightly longer intervals, but on November 28th I was so inflamed still and the 5 ulcers on the back wall of the small intestine looked much worse, although I had been taking Carafate every 6 hours around the clock since October 12. And I ended up with a PICC line, being fed for 12 hours daily through my vein in the upper left arm, my testing showed I was malnourished and protein- anemic , although I had been trying hard to do things correctly I was vomiting more than digesting food and using the nutrients. And I had this PICC intracath for 3 months. The month after it was terminated I lost 30 pounds, that made up for what I missed losing while on the TPN. So each time they tried it seemed to snap back shut. On the last one, April 12th , she put in her notes she felt she had stretched it enough that good could pass through, my diet would not have to be liquid or pureed, okay maybe that day things were fine but I have lost meals 4 of the last 6 days, if there is any joy there it is that I vomit so quickly there is no nasty odor to what comes up. And when I awaken in the morning I am still nauseous until maybe 10 AM, then I can start drinking fluids 2- 3 oz every 15 minutes, Good thing I am retired ,I could not do this and work at Wally World. And I still have pain, the pouch , the last little bit of my sternum and 2-3 iches below, usually feels like a clenched fist, and right subcostal pain which is my, pesky jejunal ulceration. I was told last clinic visit May 1st, we will do one more endoscopy, tenatively scheduled June to Early July, they believe the pouch has decreased in redness, but the 5 nasty evil intestinal ulcers remain. At that time ( I think 8 to 5 odds) more surgical intervention of another kind is done. But,i have lost 140 pounds from my highest weight,84 or 95 pounds since my September surgery, gone from a 28-30 W to a 20, ready to drop into an 18, where clothes selections improve dramatically. So that is Lovely Lovely Lovely but a heck of a way to get there!

I am far from perfect. I could have a flatter stomach,clearer skin, whiter teeth, better hair etc but at least I don't have an ugly ❤.

And every one of these foods which in my presurgery were a great comfort, my post- surgery pouch refuses to tolerate. Greek Yogurt Cottage cheese Bananas Peanut Butter Why did this happen? Wish I knew a Good Reason, she also hates most meats even chewed down to a fine squishy pulp.

Al.ist 6 months to the day, went to informational seminar at Ohio State's Martha Morehouse Pavillion March 9th 2018 and had my RNY September 5th 2018 at 7AM on my wonder Wednesday! Good Memories both!

And please update us if you do find a solution, okay?

I agree with Briswife as I also have. ulceration and a stomal stricture. But you could also have some sort of adhesions in there or something twisted or twisting, and intestinal torsion can kill you! it is not my will that I lose any of my Bari- friends to such a thing! Please get some help so you can feel better soon!

Believed you could do it! Now keep the Good Times and Good Reports coming, ya hear?

And I think of a crowbar,because,lnothing less would pry my pounds loose after this,many years, but I too wish. Dabeyhive the best, hope we hear updates soon! Speaking of updates, Proud Grammy, how are you yourself doing?

Welcome to Ulcers Are Us! We do have Jackets but it hurts too much to put them on and off! Hope yours resolves soon, mine have been over 6 months, one more endoscopy to check on the state of healing, surgeon has raised the question of further surgical intervention. And I have been on a PPI. daily and Carafate every 6 hours, (6am,Noon, 6pm and midnight) solidly since October 12th. A long time fighting the war, on liquid- thin puree diet the whole time, feel sometimes like it will be forever and forever! ?

Congratulations and Best Wishes for you all on your surgeries. Expect to hear good reports from each of YOU!❤

But it may destroy the vitamin benefits from your foods, that said, Good Luck now and in the future.

Staple removal isn't all that bad, most of the time there's just a pinging sensation! May everything continue to go well for you.

Way to go Wanda, way to go! Both my,late parents were diabetic and I know the struggle lowering your A1c can be, so very proud of YOU!???

And I loathe eggs, oh they are okay in omelets or with other things, used to love Breakfast Bowls, my favorite? Biscuit, sausage gravy , hash brown potatoes, soft fried, like over easy , and shredded cheese on top, yeah high cal, bad for me, break the yolk, let it run into it and eat eat eat! Yeah I wasn't always a healthy eaterand that wasn't an every day Occurance but when I went to Bob Evans as a treat, it sure was tasty!?

And together we have the strenght to endure, surmount and beat anything that opposes us to a pulp! A load shared is never as heavy as trying to do it all by yourself!

Yeah Palta, you have inside the size you think You are, it is not an happy Occurance when the scale proves you wrong. One of the reasons I chucked one in the dumpster years ago, one of those with a voice and I didn't like what I heard! Rationalized I was punishing it by dumping it, but I just threw away what it cost! No it is not a BAD IDEA, I am taller than you, much older than you but I could not accept 365 pounds, that's over a third of a ton, and I wasn't having fun being that way. I had tried every diet know to man and a few I think my doctor thought up while he had indigestion one evening. Maybe I dehydrated myself but the blubber remained. And when you are old (well I think well- ripened but it's a minority opinion) doctors do a little jig and they chant "You're Gonna Die!" in the same tone that bratty kid down the street you wanted to strangle,if you didn't get caught doing it! Shoot, most of the time you felt pretty good, your body was happy with all the food you had been feeding it, why do they have to rain on your parade? But at 70+ the good days are out-weighed by the painful & short of breath days. And you think" Well if I am going to die, I'm not departing without a fight!" and you know, unlike you 24 year olds, you don't have time to think about it or postpone it until later. Its hard to grab the gold to g on the merry-go- round when your eyesight isn't that good anymore! And after reflection I realized that the idea of major surgery with the body changes it would bring was much,less frightening than existing as I was, painful, obese and hating myself for letting myself to deteriorate to this point. If you go to the surgeon you may be told "Have you thought this over, are you sure this is what you want?" that's a possible reaction in your mid-20s. People my age you get " You got to be kidding! Do you realize what a surgical risk you are at your age? You could die!" Well H-E- double hockey sticks, I already got threatened THAT if I don't have surgery, so no big whoop there! Besides I have now summoned enough courage to even ask! And I was lucky to find a program for me, a surgeon who was willing to assume the risk, I had to go through many specialists poking, prodding and listening to areas of me I didn't know made a sound. And I proved. that although the calender said 72 my body was only 45 and healthy enough to withstand this kind of surgery. Oh I still had qualms, and the pretty pervasive thought of my friends, relatives and associates- No Fool Like An Old Fool- they joked, didn't believe I could be a success. Well I am a bull-headed old broad, I set out to prove THEM wrong. Oh, inside I wondered just how much I could lose this way, but I never let on! I am happy to relate I have lost 140 pounds from my High Weight, I believe 95 since my surgery 8 months ago, this with a post - menopausal Basal Metabolism Rate similar to a seasick See Slug. You youngins could do it probably faster than me with one hand tied behind your back. But I am proud of ME at this point, I now weigh less than when my youngest son was born 40 years ago on June 12th. If you have doubts, if you have fears you can always talk to me, I have a big virtual lap, I either have encountered anything you can think of or I know someone who has. And we live mentoring anybody new, we are still active because we want you to have a good experience too. I still have about 50 pounds to go until I reach the goal I set, oh my Bariatric Clinic would be satisfied with 20-25 more, but if I am going to compete in these Weight Loss Olympics why not go for the Gold instead of a Participation Diploma?

Oh yeah,but warning! They may not taste the same to you, our taste buds get modified too. Many people find shakes post surgery unbearably sweet, often they cut them to 1/2 strength with. skim or 1% milk. Now me, I have one I haven't heard anyone else say, I find straight water bitter in taste, I usually flavor it some way and chill it cold, others have to have room- temperature or even warm like decade or herbal teas. Your stomach becomes your guide on such things, amazing a banana-shape or a tiny pouch can rule your life, but if you disregard them, they do have a way of enforcing their rules! But wishing the BEST for YOU!

Stalls are really most like " pauses" your body is regrouping internally, once it is ready your weight may drop suddenly. Many do it at 3 weeks, one girl said hers lasted nearly 2 weeks but then she dropped 5 pounds, and often when your weight doesn't change you may still lose inches. Stalls are frustrating but seldom if ever fatal. We go into this WL derby thinking we will be like a smooth- driving race car, Varoom Varoom, instead we are more like a Junker Jalopy, Chug a Chugging along. Oh we will make it to the Finish Line, but it won't happen today or even next week, but bye and bye it will happen! Chin up, bajankat, it's all GOOD!??❤

Maybe invest in a thermos to carry? I like the Bariatric Advantage B-12 little pills, black cherry taste, one under the tongue, usually do it noonish, resolves pretty quick, Vitamin A & D check with your Bariatric people, see if over-the- counter suffices or whether you'll need a script. Wal-Mart where I get my meds, not sure if it's their policy or Silver Scripts my Medicare part D provider, but I pay a co- pay equal to regular price for vitamins, even my special iron pills Ferrocite, which are not a retail type formulation. Most of their iron is Ferrous Gluconate, Ferrocite,is a different Iron salt. But I don't have all the answers, like most of us, you learn as you go!

I wish now I knew how boring a prolonged liquid diet can be. Sometimes I hate my body for not. behaving better, no I don't hate my surgron, I don't hate that I had the surgery or even the type of surgery it was, just the fact of structuring/ulceration. NP assured me at appointment last Wednesday that my stomal opening was " patent"(medicalese for open) albeit still narrow, well I will concede it might have been. on THAT day, my point is- it did not remain that way. The tenderness of my pouch, which I feel most at and just below my sternum, and my right subcostal. pain which Dr Noria has told me is my jejunal ulcerations are still twingy'paining me. And 4 out of the last 6 days I have vomitted up my evening meal, 3 of those next days I woke up nauseated enough to not be able to keep anything water included until noon. And I am precaious with my fluid levels when that happens. If things are are calm enough gastic-wise that I can do 2 at minimum of fluid in my little baby shot glasses every 15 minutes, I will make my 64 oz quota, before last endoscopy I was doing 3oz instead, that made it to 72 oz which was better. Then if I had my soups, which I have been brewing myself instead of relying on prepared and canned, the fluid from them would make me up to 84-87 oz, that would be enough to keep #1 tickety-booming and #2 soft enough to pass well. And yes I do have 2 doses of Miralax worked into fluids and protein- enrich the soups. Made myself some sugar-free - made with stevia tapioca pudding. When Precious Pouch behaves very very good, I reward her with a couple ounces of that. But mostly I spend my evenings curled into an ball over the wastebasket or with one of my emesis bags I got at the hospital. I never expected this kind of grief this far from surgery. I really feel I have followed all the directives to the letter. Thursday I have an appointment with dietician, let's see if Roy and I can formulate something. And I have another niggling thing, I am husky- voiced, my ENT Dr Suzie says my vocal cords are bowed so I will be having speech therapy. There are 3 possible reasons for it, #1 A normal consequence of aging #2 pressure from my thyroid nodules doing it- this she doubts and #3 and this is the one I believe, so many endoscopies- I am up to 13 lifetime and 10 of them at OSU- that it has traumatized my vocal cords and speech as a consequence. So I guess I resent how long it is taking to heal to a "normal "state, it is wearyin g/boring and feeling futile most days. Do I wish I could be revised back away from my pouch? Not really, it would be a traumatizing long open surgery, not easy to endure maybe at my age even fatal, not easy- peasy like laparoscopy was. I do like the fact I am now even smaller than I was when I delivered Tomkitten, 40 years ago the 12th of June, yeah if you look only at my weight loss, 100 pounds in 8 months, you could say "Good on YOU Frustr8" it's just the miserable way, with PICC lines, Total P Nutrition, and the minor setbacks, this was not what was advertised in pamphlets, pre-surgery consults and even the Post-Surgery clinic visits, I did not request to be this "unique" maybe it is good I am One of A Kind as most practices do not deserve more than one. But , like the happy child singing in a room full of manure, with all this, there has got to be a pony somewhere! Your bewidered but comitted for the journey friend, the 1 the only--- Frustr8

I drempt my surgeo waited until I got into the OR and then announced he was going to his son's commencement because it would be more interesting Of course, it never happened. I got my surgery just as scheduled, but like you it seemed SO REAL for a few minutes. ?

a thought for YOu Which is more important- that Junk Food you have been craving for an hour? Or that body you have been craving all your life? The decision is YOURS!