Frustr8

Wish I lived there instead of in Ohio, I would walk in a New York minute with you. Do hope you find someone soon, burden shared only weigh half as much!

Belly still a little pouchy, Boobs are deflated tube socks, barely a C, I thought I was losing weight to no longer be built like the Great Pyramid of Egypt, I think I still look like Pharoahs could. be buried in my hips and thighs, but we are always harder on ourselves. I am starting to get How Good You Look, nobody knows the areas rolled up and stuffed into my outfits. My Dirty Little Secrets, LOL?

Well yeah, as I unpack last summer's not a thing fits, even my shorts fall down, maybe head for the clearance racks, hopefully I get there before all the other Chubby Tubbies, I sure can't afford full retail if I might be that size a month or 6 weeks only. Local 2nd-hand stores even have raised prices, $7 for obviouslywell- worn ? jeans, somebody is writing me a Reality Check.

My doctor's standard rule, 10% of excess weight, but a firm suggestion not an Iron-clad rule.

Yeah , my cat Squeaky just came in to check why I am not up yet. She is a great listener, as long as I keep in mind she is cute and the center of the universe. She always has been self-assured by nature, me? I'm not always THAT BRAVE, maybe too many years of being told " Don't be uppity, nobody will love you, let alone put up with YOU!" Always tried to relate better to my own children, that way the thinking would die with me. Odd isn't it, we do our level best to shield them from the sorrows,we have had, meantime they are exposed to others. Shame people don't come with Owners Manuals, perhaps we have to each write our own as life goes on? Medicare sent me a letter, wants me t9 re- emburse them to the tune of $20,000, my Insurance settlement was no where near that much and I had to pay my disability lawyer a Third of That, had utilities to catch up, had been paying them minimum to keep things running, to give that agency THAT much, I would have to live much past 100 in a house without lights, heat and no way to converse with the outside world. I believe that might be called a "chicken coop". Move over Rooster, Mama"s moving in! Oh well, let's see what ToDay has in store for me? 11 AM appointment with Speech Therapist, trying not to have a voice like Bill Clinton. Then at 2 PM an dental appointment with new dentist, Tomkittens up and retired, turned his practice over to younger Dude, our first opportunity to meet and greet him.And my medication app just reminded me to get up and take my 8 AM meds. Dr Noria just thinks my pouch is doing well, I know better, the ulcer discomfort is STILL THERE! Some days I wonder if I will have that forever and end up no further than a Mechanical Soft diet?

And I think it tasted better and fresher. I made tapioca pudding, 1%milk, sweetened with Stevia, no eggs, I STILL can't handle eggs even in things. Too bad, I do make a lovely pseudo- omelet, scrambled egg thingie that Tomkitten just loves, either homemade biscuits or toast on the side and he practically purrs. I'm down to 214.6, over 100 pounds less than my SD, that was at 319. See it can be done, even for someone Old as Dirt (73) and before long you ladies will be joining me! Stay committed, stay righteous and it will be here before you know!

There are days I cater my own pity party, feel like I am starving in the the Land of Plenty, there were even days when I was tempted and gave in to trying to eat my son's more normal diet. Didn't work, more than 4 oz ingested and up it all comes. And I look pathetic, I sound pathetic, rather like a large cat with a hairball, choking. When you have a stomach the size of an egg, even a hen-egg Jumbo, you just don't havecenoygh stomach to build up speed for Projectile Vomitting. Don't know if VSG patients have any more force in their " banana" just personal experience of my bypass. And I do get weary and weak afterwards, my teeny tummy hurts like a son-of-gun, my ulcers say " Let us join in throbbing!" so it does not pay for me v to try to exceed my limits. Many can eat past their surgical restraint, even stretch things out a little. But Boy-oh- Boy, not yours truly. I'm more restrained than handcuffs and leg irons. But it has enabled me to lose the weight I NEVER could before. I am nearly as small as I was when first married, and that was 1967, certainly smaller than when I delivered Tomkitten 40 years ago, funny ,he was my Biggest Baby, 9 1/2 pounds, but I was the smallest post- birth. So I plan to see how low I can go until my body says "No Mas" and I go into my maintainance stage.

Yep, let's.say the protein in the cheese outweighs the wheat- bearing crust, sound good?

Yeah I would say hiatal hernia or GERD that went away. Did you know many doctors say night-time reflux is a cause of asthma? Yep that's what their research shows!

And you didn't have to wait clear into Christmas to get a new toy, I think that is pretty cool!

Yep a smile of victory there. Another thought: Haters, like parrots, talk much but cannot fly Dreamers, like Eagles, say nothing but conquer the skies. So spread your wings, my friends, and fly!

And Thursday night I took M.O.M, Friday morning a Fleets Enema, Friday afternoon having a Milk and Molasses enema at my local hospital. And at 3:04 pm Blessed Relief but I'm not sure where I had stored ALL THAT because it looked like I emptied Multiple Feet! Take your Miralax, take your Colace, get enough fiber in your Diet, drink plenty of fluids, YOU DO NOT WANT TO FOLLOW IN MY QUAVERING FOOTSTEPS! ???

Thank You Vavoon! It's been quiet but still good. Didn't hear from RD, rotten daughter, did see her the other day at WallyWorld, all she could think about was she hoped I had a buriel plot so she wouldn't have to worry. No chance of that, Tomkitten knows what I want and where, just like I do for him. So I guess she figures she doesn't have to call or text me today. Her loss but I'm no longer crying about it. Fear, years and sorrow , don't let them in anymore!

Well Louisville is a little farther South than I am, maybe it is warm enough in Kentucky but it's only 50 outside here, no nude dancing for me until July, besides I have enough loose skin to make flapping sounds. But I am less than 15 pounds to go so I hope to join you in a Victory Dance pretty soon!

Gaby I started at 365+, was still 319 at surgery, now 8.5 months later I am 214.6, size 18 and Onderland ahead. I am Old As Dirt(73) if I can I know you can also! Let's keep slimming down together, Deal?

I am rapidly running out of clothes that fit, been taking out and switching spring/summer for all those winter things I am so sick of. And nothing from last year now fits, oh yeah I did want to eliminate my fat bulges, guess it's Goodwill time, big items in. and then maybe a few more things bought, but I am not spending 1st run things when I may be "undergrowing" them quickly. Size 18 and Onderland, I am going to be making your acquaintances soon!

There are days when I absolutely amaze ME There are also days when I put the laundry in the oven.

Well you are and we're a survivor. No matter what you endured, you are a Strong Wonderful person and I count myself lucky to have met you! Happy Mother's Day, Happy Proud Grammy Day, like the old Timex commercials You have taken a licking and kept on Ticking! You mourn your relationship with Mama, well I mourn the Man the Late Lamented turned into in his later years. I wish he could be proud of and for me, but I suspect he might still come up with something snide and hurtful. Butt I'm shaking off the bad memories and I will still be the Frustr8 I am convinced I can be. What will my finish be? No matter what, I am so much stronger and better than ever before in my life! I just wish somebody I loved was here to share it with me. All my aunt's and uncles are gone, I have 2 uncle's widows left, not real close to one. This woman showed up at my Son's Calling Hours, stated " I suppose I should tell you I'm sorry your son died," My answer? "Not if you don't really mean it, if not please leave now!" I had enough class to not break down crying in front of people, but why would she say such a thing? I would never say such a vile thing about the Hulses, her people. And if and when she dies, I undoubtedly will attend no calling hours, wakes or burials of her. I am a little too proud to humble myself in that way.

More soup in the Crock pot today, that's what I handle best, I know Roy my dietician is hoping i'll move on to more grown-up levels, but after the calamities I have endured emulating someone else, it just may not happen yet. Trying to be someone else is demeaning to me, I too have my place in the Universe. I was not created to be average--'I AM AWESOME in my own right!

Well I am at the obese nuisance level ( 34) but Praise God I am No Longer Morbid! Morbid means You could Die'- with Simply Obese I believe I will Hang around, observe others as I continue losing, their paths may not be my path, but I still can wave HI as they are heading on their way!

And I have attempted Decaf once or twice, with the strictures and jejunal ulcerations I have, even that sets me off. Although my stoma is getting better there will probably be gastritis lingering, the sorrow and pain, for me, NOT WORTH IT!

Keep peace in your Soul; a smile upon your face, the conviction in your ❤that you are doing the right thing for the right reasons, you are in the right place with a surgeon and bariatric team you have trust in. You are the ? Star of this production; everything is in preparation for you alone, Your Mama would tell you,to " Make Nice- Nice " so I shall also. No matter how tender or uncomfortable you may be when you wake up, still smile through it all! And remember pain has o,ly a short season, Joy and Pride in Yourself will last forever. Besides your nurses and Doctors are human, the most pkeasat patients get,the perks, they get their call lights answered faster, and you will not be a source of gossip in their break room. See I have been on both sides, the caregivers and the care receivers, and I Do Know What I'm talking about! Take a stuffed toy or small pillow with you if you can. The first time you cough or sneeze without a soft friend you will feel like you have disemboweled yourself and that sure is not a fun sensation. And please remember we all have had surgery or we are getting ready to, we do understand how you're feeling. Try to get some sleep tonight or you will be wound tighter than a $3 watch. And lastly , update us when your surgery is complete, we will ❤hearing from YOU!

And think of your Rosy Future after you recover from Surgery and start your New Better Life! THIS may be your Last Plump Mother's Day today!

I think that You mean Scope, an ice cream scoop would HURT!

Please go onto surgery as healthy as possible, this is your life you might be risking. Want you to have only the best results, surgeon might withdraw your clearance if you have an Active infection, don't put the Dentist 's. the Surgeon, YOU could be the loser in this equation.