Wow! What a crapton of stress and worry! I get it! Life definitely happens while we're trying to improve ourselves!! I think the idea of having low carb/low fat/healthier options on hand will be very helpful. I also think it's important to get up each day (only take that 1 day) and make a 1-10 check list of plans. Scratch them off as you complete them. Make doing self-care part of that plan. Cuz if you're well, the kids will be healthier.
Try making yourself a deal for 1 day only. Make a deal not to have ANYTHING sweet all day (whether or not that is sugar or sugar subs). And include making it a no crap day--so no chips crackers etc. If you need to clean all the crap out of the pantry, frig and freezer! The kids don't need the crap either! Lock it in the trunk of your car if you must! Then any time you're hungry, drink a glass of water as quickly as you can. Then wait 20 minutes--get busy with something else. If at the end of 20 minutes you are still hungry and it's not time for your meal, then have a small protein and veggie based 100cal snack. Follow your rules of eating/drinking. If it is time to eat, then have your meal that you've planned.
The rule is that if you're hungry, you eat protein/veg at 100cals per pop. No sweet. I use things like boiled eggs, al dente steamed broccoli, raw veg like leafy greens, rbp, carrots, celery, etc. If I'm hungry enough to eat, then I will eat a boiled egg and some veg! Hard to binge when you're full of boiled egg and veg!
Then once you complete the day...do it again tomorrow. Just only commit for 1 day.
If you screw up, then continue moving forward taking the next best bite. Don't throw the day away cuz of a slip or an isolated meal or snack. Put the snack in the trash, get the crap out of the house...etc.
You can do this. It IS worth it! You are worth it. Your family is worth it.
Find a counselor!!! Talk to your doc and RD!!!! Get them to help. It is in their best interest to help you through this rough patch, cuz you are part of their outcomes of surgery. They want to have good stats.