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My boyfriend and I broke up over the weekend, and I just wanted to reach out to my bari-family for support 😓 I remember reading loads about how after surgery lots of people found that their relationships broke down for one reason or another, and the statistics around this being quite shocking. Whilst I don't contribute my break-up to my surgery/weight loss, I am struggling at the moment with the emotional side of things following it all. Rather than emotional eating, I am finding that I have 0 appetite at all, I just don't want to eat, I don't want to do my exercise, ugh. But I am also scared of just doing nothing. I don't know guys, I am rambling, but either way , just wanted to reach out to see how others have dealt with this in their own lives. ❤️

Just wanted to drop in say...he's an idiot! Your a diamond so let that light shine! Then everything everyone else said ❤️

i've tried these picture calculators and am not entirely convinced they get the cal count right...especially with intricately-plated resto meals with those 10-ingredient sauce swooshes and crab-infused potato puffs lololololzzzzz. my own inquiry mind, ha! i like to know what calorie burn im at, and these days im on super-exercise mode, so i know im probably at a higher level than "normal". plus, i've sort of been trying to put on some weight since February, and my "unsuccessful-ness" of it all is starting to annoy me. (though secretly i kinda enjoy seeing a low number on the scale. sort of. kinda. i thinks. hello eating disorder!) ironically, i feel great. no health issues nor complaints. energy for days, and i can keep up (if not surpass) all the 20-somethings in class (p.s. im 53 this year). so i dunno.

So if I'm understanding your post correctly, you've been eating 1200-1400 kcal per day yet your weight has been stable at ~215 pounds. This either means: Your total daily energy expenditure (TDEE) is also around 1200-1400 calories per day, OR You're eating a lot more calories than you think. Let's explore each of these in more detail. Based on your height and weight, your TDEE should probably be 1800 to 2200 calories per day. Just your BMR or Basal Metabolic Rate (the number of calories your body burns per day just to keep you alive), should be ~1500-1800 calories per day. There are lots of reasons this could be lower, but for your TDEE to be 1300, you'd have to have a BMR in the neighborhood of ~900 calories per day or as much as HALF of what we'd expect. This would be exceptionally low considering your size. BMRs that low tend to only be seen in elderly frail women. To be clear, without having a metabolic test, we can't know for sure, but this does seem unlikely. A more logical reason for this discrepancy is that you're actually eating a lot more than you think. Calorie overestimation is extremely common (unlike extremely low BMRs), thus I lean toward this as an explanation. I have seen some suggestions stating that the magnitude of this may be as high as 40-50% underestimated. In other words, someone could think they're eating 1500 calories, but they are actually eating 2200+. So where do people go wrong? Misreading/misunderstanding nutrition labels. It's not uncommon for people to confuse a serving with a container of food. Sometimes, manufacturers will list a serving of something, but what you're actually eating may be 2 or more servings. Accepting as fact the calorie counts on nutrition labels. In the US, calorie counts on nutrition labels can be off by as much as 10% before manufacturers would be expected to adjust the calorie count. Keep in mind, though that manufacturers are self policing here and really don't have a lot on incentive to make sure these are correct. Many people simply guess at serving sizes, especially if it's a meal they made themselves. This can lead to wildly inaccurate calorie counts Also very common when they are making meals themselves is to just look up a calorie count for a similar food, but this also can be really inaccurate. Lots of people guess at amounts, thus you may think you're getting say 1 cup of a food, when it's actually 1.5 cups. Speaking of measuring by cups, this also is wildly inaccurate. To properly measure calories, you really need to weigh EVERYTHING you eat IN GRAMS. Any other method just isn't very accurate. I also wanted to touch briefly on your comment on exercise. While I think it's great that you're exercising, this really has nothing to do with weight loss. Lot;s of studies show that increasing energy expenditure through lower levels of exercise like you're getting typically leads to lowering your energy expenditure elsewhere throughout the day. This means you really have no increased calories burned and shouldn't think this means it's okay to eat more as a result.

I echo all the above. Patience, you won't loose every week. You will stall a lot. Use the knowledge on this site. Ask anything and someone will have had that issue. Chapstick, laxatives and Biotin. Lack of liquids does terrible things to our bodies. Dry lips are bad. Waking with a dry mouth is scary. Going over a week without pooping is hurty.

My friend told me to bring these items and I was so happy I did: 1) A muumuu dress or a nightgown, your stomach will be so sensitive, even wearing shorts with elastic is uncomfortable, I lived in loose dresses for like 2 weeks 2) Chapstick, you will get thirsty and your lips will get dry because you're thirsty, a Chapstick will help with the dry feeling of your lips (can't do anything about the thirst unfortunately) 3) For when you get home, get a prop up pillow for sleeping, I didn't have a recliner anything to help me sleep, my first night home, I thought I could just go to bed like normal, nope, big mistake, it was painful to lay down, I used like 4 pillows to prop myself up like at the hospital and I bought a prop up pillow from amazon that same night I hope this helps, good luck!

yay! congrats! excited for u! recovery really varies from person to person. i do understand that if your procedure does not include muscle tightening it should be a little bit less painful (but again it depends on your individual pain tolerance!) things that i found useful for recovery (note: i had muscle tightening) 1) my husband. lol 2) a stool to sit on in the shower 3) big sturdy pillows to stay propped up in bed (helps when getting out of bed too) 4) my mother's cane to walk...mind u i probably walked too much, but it def helped my back cuz i was hunched over all the time. 5) a pillow to hug in the car when going over bumps, or when i coughed, and omg when i sneezed (sneezing was the worst!!) 6) my faja to keep me all tight and snuggled. i wore mine way beyond than what was prescribed because i just really liked the feeling of it, ha. good luck! ❤️

All good advice here. I'll just offer a big old shedload of sympathy. It's hard.

I had a gastroscopy today in preparation for surgery and it showed that I have (a?) gastric polyps. I haven't met with my surgeon yet but apparently this can mean I am not eligible for a bypass, as was the plan, and might have to go for the sleeve. Not sure what to think about that.

@The Greater Fool Thank you for your response I agree that it can also apply to the relationship we have with ourselves - something I definitely need the time and space to figure out. I do have a therapist who I shall be seeing tomorrow, so I know that will help. It has definitely thrown me off balance but I do agree it is something to get through and to process with time.