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HI all, it has been forever since I have been on this site. Got lots of reasons/and or excuses, but I am back regardless. First of all I have had my 2nd fill since I checked in last. I now have 4 cc's in my band. For the most part I am doing terrific with it. I am down to 272 pounds. That is a 54 pound weight loss since mid January. I am so happy, so very, very, very happy!! I have lost 42 pounds since my surgery March 18th. In losing all that weight I have gain oh so very much. I have super confidence, I have more energy, and I have such a different outlook on life. I was in a size 26...sometimes a 28 jean. Now, I am PROUDLY ROCKING a size 20!!! Flipping size 20!!!! OMG!!!! The difference is amazing. Both to me and my family and friends. I went shopping this last weekend and bought something I never thought I ever would. See, I have been with the same man for 17 years...well..17 in July. We are not married, have thought about it, just never have done it. Well, he PROPOSED to me a month ago. I AM GETTING MARRIED!!! YES ITS EXCITING!! HAHA. So, I went and tried on wedding dresses, just to see if I could even bear the thought of wearing one...I love dresses, just not on me, they do nothing to hide fat!!! lol. So there I was trying on wedding dresses and I was so surprised to be LOVING IT!! I was going to get one with sleeves, because as with all of us, my arms are a big issue. But I fell in love with this strapless-halter type dress. AND I BOUGHT IT!!!. I figured that it doesnt matter about those arms, see, I fell in love with ME again. I felt beautiful in all of those dresses. That was something I had never expected. NEVER. I cannot wait to ROCK that wedding dress come September!!! So yes my weight loss is fantastic, wonderful, exciting, and all of those other adjectives. But, what is even better, is that I have found me again. I have found the confident, out-going, smiling former image of myself. I still have a ways to go and I am not quiting until I am there. Everyday I have something to look forward to. Everyday I am happy when I wake up and feel so excited with my new life. Well thats it. This is my life. Go me!!!

My surgery is scheduled for June 26th 2013 at 10:15am. I have contemplated lap band for over 2 years and just within the past year decided to do it. Sometimes I still think to myself "do I really need this? am I being crazy? I'm not THAT fat", but then I look in the mirror, look at the numbers on the scale or see someone in public looking at me funny and I realize that I am THAT fat and I need help. I had my first appointment with the surgeon on April 18th, 2013. Since then I have been eating like my life depends on it! Trying to get in everything I won't be eating after surgery. I know, I know, I'll be able to eat all the same things, just smaller portions (eventually), but I'm a food addict. Like an alcoholic can't have just one drink, I can't have just one bite. So for the last 2 months I've been eating like a glutton. I'm happy to say though, that over the last week I've come to terms with the fact that I won't be able to eat certain foods anymore. I've stopped the binge eating and am getting excited for my surgery. I've cut back my calories, started changing my eating habits by taking in more protein and not drinking when eating. I said goodbye to binge eating, my social and emotional crutch, the most damaging relationship I've ever been in, and we broke up. Like many break ups I know it will be hard, and there will be slip ups, but I'm ready to start a new life with a new love, me.

​Congratulations!!!!!!! on everything. Being a bride is wonderful. You will have to share pictures, please, of the thinner you and your great dress.

I felt so hungry also and my stomach was growling. the Dr said it was mental hunger...uh..I don't believe that. The 2 weeks of liquid was really a stuggle for me...jello, popsicles, gatorade. I had quit the nutra sweet and everything tastes so sickening sweet n gross to me. Finally on the soft stuff....and I really feel better. Just timing food and drink. But it makes you think of what you are putting in your body. Things will get better....it will

Wow, thank you so much for reporting on your progress for each day so far. It sounds like overall you're doing spectacularly well. Congratulations!

I agree, Premier are my favorite too. Costco sells them in an 18 pack for 24 dollars. I have not tried the bars yet, but may pick some up today!

You are right. I was only trying to be sarcastic. I don't want anyone to kill themselves. Sometimes it's difficult to convey humor through writing. But I hope that most of the readers are familiar with there rest of my blog and can see that everything I write has a numerous twist to it. And realize, that making people smile is what I'm shooting for in every post.

"You cant be afraid of what people will feel at the expense of what you feel." - Steve Harvey I was half asleep with the TV on when I heard Steve Harvey say this. The topic on his show today is being able to tell other people no. It got me thinking, "Do I say NO enough?" Kids wanna borrow money, if I have it I give it to them. When my friends want to borrow something, I usually say yes. When it comes to compromise it seems that I was always the one bending over backwards to accommodate everyone but myself. Then I decided 6 months ago that I was going to do something for me. I might revisit this topic above at another time.. but for right now I think I will just talk about how I am feeling. Today makes day 6. How do I feel? gurgly hahahaha My stomach is gurgling and talking bubbles. Which is a good thing, my incision sites are not sore anymore and I slept partly on my side last night. (I did cheat though and took some of my lovely liquid codeine to help me sleep) Before I completely woke up this morning I got Bret (who was already up, thanks DD2) to bring me my medication so I could take it the correct way, no chewing up the pills and before I got up and started moving around. I have discovered I am going to take the blood pressure meds a little later in the day, and the thyroid soon as I get up with an empty stomach..haha but as it is now its an empty stomach all darn day!! I got me 2 popsicles, some chicken broth, a lime jello and a small cup of Gatorade....and that was breakfast. This liquid diet is murder, but I can say I do not have any diarrhea. So if that's what it takes then ok. But right now I would fight a wild pack of dogs for just one scrambled egg and a slice of toast. I guess I can tie in the whole no thing after all. For my health, for my healing I have to say NO. To myself, to my kids, to people who want something from me right now. It's not gonna happen. I have to put myself first right now and heal, then I can go back to being the pushover that I once was..lol