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The big break up

My surgery is scheduled for June 26th 2013 at 10:15am. I have contemplated lap band for over 2 years and just within the past year decided to do it. Sometimes I still think to myself "do I really need this? am I being crazy? I'm not THAT fat", but then I look in the mirror, look at the numbers on the scale or see someone in public looking at me funny and I realize that I am THAT fat and I need help.

I had my first appointment with the surgeon on April 18th, 2013. Since then I have been eating like my life depends on it! Trying to get in everything I won't be eating after surgery. I know, I know, I'll be able to eat all the same things, just smaller portions (eventually), but I'm a food addict. Like an alcoholic can't have just one drink, I can't have just one bite. So for the last 2 months I've been eating like a glutton. I'm happy to say though, that over the last week I've come to terms with the fact that I won't be able to eat certain foods anymore. I've stopped the binge eating and am getting excited for my surgery. I've cut back my calories, started changing my eating habits by taking in more protein and not drinking when eating.

I said goodbye to binge eating, my social and emotional crutch, the most damaging relationship I've ever been in, and we broke up. Like many break ups I know it will be hard, and there will be slip ups, but I'm ready to start a new life with a new love, me.

7 Comments

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mrsto

LAP-BAND Patients

Sounds like you're off to a good start. I've been banded since 3/25/13, and it is difficult at times. Unfortunately (you've probably read this several times), the band goes around our stomach, not our brain. Food addiction is something we'll have to deal with our entire life; band or no band.

The most important thing my doctor and his staff drummed into our brains (and continue to do so), is that the band is a tool, NOT a cure. Your desire to binge will not go away. Just be prepared, and lean on the support at your doctor's office, and on this site. There is a lot of help to be had here; you came to the right place!

The very best of luck to you!!

beanie80

LAP-BAND Patients

Thanks for your comment Mrsinto! I didn't mention in my op that I've been doing some binge eating/eating disorders therapy for about 4 months. I'm in a really good place now! I'm excited for what the future holds!

mrsto

LAP-BAND Patients

EXCELLENT! It takes a long time to deal with those issues. I was in an in-patient eating disorders program 26 years ago. It certainly didn't cure me, but it altered the destructive path I was on. But it continued to rear its ugly face at various times since then. It's a curse; one that we're never really cured of. We can only do the continuous work to keep it in check.

Beanie - I'm glad you're in therapy dealing with this. It will go a long way toward your success; not only with the band, but in your life as well. As I'm sure you're learning, the problem isn't compulsive eating/binging. It's all of the underlying emotional issues that fuel the behavior. Bravo to you for taking care of YOU!

mrsto

LAP-BAND Patients

PS: From your post, it sounds like you didn't mention the behavior in your pre-op appointments? Does your surgeon know what you're dealing with?

beanie80

LAP-BAND Patients

Yup! I told them at my first appointment. They just said I needed to be cleared by psych and I was. :)

dylanmiles23

LAP-BAND Patients

Wonderful news that you are having the band to help with your eating. I was never a binge eater, so I don;t know about that. I am happy you are dealing with it. I always ate the wrong things and too much of them. I don't go without but I am very in control. I have had about 6 stuck moments and they suck, mostly from eating too fast.

LessLee

LAP-BAND Patients

Some things you wrote sound a lot like me. Good luck to you and congrats!

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