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I have a best friend. We met in 5th grade & are now 25. We are a match made in best friend heaven, perfectly weird complimenting personalities. Since High School we have been on the journey (among others) of being fat together. We would eat constantly, joke about how fat we are. It was our thing, eating was our best social time, nothing is better than mindlessly stuffing your face while having great conversation. When we weren't eating we'd joke about how fat we were & that "tomorrow we'll get skinny" as we stuff another cheeseburger in our mouth. Sure we had our brief periods of "getting skinny", they never lasted. We'd get bored, so we'd eat. We'd get sad, so we'd eat. We'd get drunk, so we'd eat. We'd be social, so we'd eat. Everything in our life came back to food. In September of this year I came to her with the idea of WLS & doing it together. We talked about how AMAZING it'd be to be skinny, but how scary it was, & what a huge life change. The subject was dropped. December rolled around & it was brought up again. Maybe we could do it, a mutual friend had VSG 8 months prior & is already down 100 pounds! WE could lose a 100 pounds, if we just make the sacrifice. It was decided, WLS was what we needed, both individually & together. In 2013 I will undergo the biggest change of my entire life & be lucky enough to do it WITH my best friend. I can't wait to actually see us skinny. (If you'd like to look her up it's JPSnAZ, she a hoot)

Are you by chance still wearing old clothes that don't show the loss? I know on days that I wear my old clothes (always kept them in hopes I would return one day, and I am woohoo ) that fit more snug, people actually notice, but with baggier clothes (really trying to hold out on buying clothes as I keep going down pretty steadily) no one says a thing. But it may help I work in an environment with a lot of nurses, doctors, and health minded people, so they encourage getting healthier, if that makes sense. Like LovetheNewMe said, they may be jealous or just not know how or what to say. I have one person who is always complementing me, but at the same time, says she is afraid that she does not want to offend me in the same conversation. Like people don't want to make you feel bad about what you used to look like I suppose is what she means.

Some people just don't say anything our of jealousy or they may not know what to say. Now I find people ask me if I am sick. Just be positive and know you are losing and I know the results are there.

I had planned on documenting my gastric sleeve surgery experience in the order it occurred, but I forgot about the psych evaluation. Once again luck was on my side as I knew what to expect before arriving. I had a chance to talk with a post-op gastric sleeve patient during my 1st appointment with my doctor. The test itself was about 451 questions. Really though, you could say it was about 150 questions asked 3 different ways. My best guess is it is done in that format to measure how consistent and true you are answering. I guess that they believe that if you are trying to manipulate the test for whatever reason, by asking the same question 3 different ways mixed in with 450 questions, you won't be able to remember how you answered previously and your true feelings will be revealed. I can't remember the exact answer selections, but I think there were 6 choices - ranging from Always True to Never True. So they might ask, "Have you consistently missed work because of drinking?" and you choose among the 6 answers as to how true the question applies to your situation. 50 or so questions later, it is asked again differently, "I never drink so much alcohol that I have called in sick at work." And they mix in questions about how alcohol has played a part in your family and social life. Your feelings about stealing, is it better to be a child or an adult, how you behave in social situations, how you bad/good feel most people behave, which is the better part of life - being a child or being an adult. I think you get the general idea. The psych interview was pretty brief - about 15 minutes. The questions mainly center around my eating habits and what I knew about diet and nutrition. That I realized that surgery was only a tool and not the solution. That I needed to exercise before and after surgery. And what I thought my ideal body weight should be. I told him that I didn't want to fixate on a specific number and just wanted to look "normal", whatever that weight turned out to be. I had been following a guy on youtube who started out at my weight 350 and was down to 235 and I thought I'd be very happy to look like him. I haven't been down below 270 since 1997! My doctor later told me that my ideal weight is 200 and seem to take it in stride that I'd have no problem getting to that weight. So we'll see. My plan is to set small goals and not get too hung up on reaching a specific weight. Expenses so far: My copay for the doctor has been about $2000 so far ($500 office visits, nutritionist counseling / $1500 surgery cost) My hospital costs so far, $3000 ($1000 blood, ultra sound, chest xrays and EDG / $2000 surgery cost) I had a bit of a panic yesterday. The hospital called to confirm my surgery date and collect payment. They told me the surgery cost was $19,000 and in my mind I'm thinking "NINETEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS!" I wasn't expecting to have to pay out of pocket that much! And then they said,"Your copay is $2000." Fortunately, I hadn't completely stroked out after hearing the first part and was able to get my heart out of my mouth after I realized I wasn't responsible for the full 19k. :-) I fumbled my Discover card out and gave them the digits. Still to be paid (and as far as I know, the last): Pre-op blood typing/urine testing (must be done within 72 hours of surgery) - I'm scheduled to be tested on 12/26 / surgery 12/27 / expected to return home 12/28.

I could just about say "ditto" to everything everyone else has written about their reasons and that would be my story. Here are my details: 40yrs old Registered Nurse in Northern Virginia 266 was highest weight 262 at start of pre surgery diet 250 day of surgery 12/17/12 Surgeon: Dr. Salameh at Virginia Hospital Center Surgeon/Hospital Choice: I changed both about 3 months prior to surgery because I started working at VHC and was very comfortable with their Bariatric Center of Excellence and processes. It was hard to imagine having surgery and being vulnerable to people I work with in that sense but I did a lot of research and talked to almost everyone who would be caring for me and that made all the difference. A surgery nurse told me, "surgical nurses tell no tales." This comment was huge for me - and made me so much more sure I made the right choice. Pre-op Insurance Issues: I changed jobs and insurance during my journey which was a challenge. My insurance initially denied me because although I had over 8 months of a medically supervised diet - they claimed not enough of an exercise component was included. Having been a clinical case manager myself, I know that this is just a ploy and delaying tactic used by insurance companies. So I had my surgeon do a peer-to-peer review with the medical director of my insurance (Care First Blue Cross PPO). They compromised and insurance said they would approve if I did physical therapy (I have multiple sclerosis as well so this was one of my surgeons selling points). The physical therapy (although annoying and another month delay) was the best thing that could have happened to me. I met with the physical therapist who treats bariatric patients and it was amazing. He set me up with an exercise plan - and more importantly, made me feel good about myself and the journey I am taking. He even visited me post-op and gave me another pep talk. Had I known how helpful his was I would have paid out of pocket for it. I cannot wait to follow up with him in the new year (he's also really nice to look at - I'm not gonna lie)! Surgery 12/17/12 - all went well. I had a significant haitial hernia which needed repair. Post op I had a lot of pain - that was a surprise. I thought I would be getting a PCA (Patient Controlled Analgesics) and did mention in my pre-op surgery appt. that I don't do well with morphine. However post op they ordered IV morphine which didn't tough my pain. Ended up getting switched to dilaudid which I got pretty much every 2-3 hours but I would have probably done better if I could have controlled it myself. Discharge was sort of a mess. My nurse was getting an admission so she did my discharge before I was ready to go. We left all of the post op instructions in the room - luckily I am a nurse and knew what to do. I only had a few hours (maybe 2) on clears before I was discharged and only one dose of oral pain meds. Looking back - this clearly was not enough. I also could not take a deep breath - couldn't get the incentive spirometer (IS) to move at all. I probably needed another night in the hospital. First day home - was HORRIBLE! I had a terrible headache, could not get fluids in without severe pain, was taking pain meds more frequently than prescribed just to be able to breathe. Each breath hurt and stomach spasms on liquids really hurt. I was dehydrated and still could not make the IS move at all. Worse was I couldn't get to the phone in time to get the post-op call from the hospital so was unable to get my post-op instructions e-mailed to me (gonna suggest they ask for preferred phone number at discharge). A nurse friend came over and listened to my chest and was concerned that my breath sounds were extremely diminished on my left side as well as in both bases, She suggested the ER if it didn't improve. I also had a low grade fever:100.8. My second day was much better. I went to the mall for 4 hours and walked and also worked hard on the deep breathing. I coughed up a bunch of blackish/brownish crud and that helped as well. Fever down and no ER visit needed. Day 6 - things are going well. I still hurt but am down to just about 2 doses of pain meds a day. Im getting more fluids down and about 1/3 of a protein shake for breakfast and some cream of chicken soup for dinner. I've tried a few bites of pudding but got a little nauseous - so that is going to have to wait. Overall I'm extremely happy. I stopped all of my meds (except my MS disease modifying injections), and that has been pretty good. I'm very optimistic about the process. I forgot to mention the most important thing - I have an incredible boyfriend (of 15 years) who has been amazing through it all. He has cared for me and loved me unconditionally through the years, through MS, and through weightless surgery. Having this kind of support has ben the best and most important medicine. I've lost 20 lbs since my week prior to surgery diet. Im not gonna lie and say the pounds don't count - they do so very very very much - but the way I feel right now cannot be measured in pounds. I'm trying to keep that in mind when I have what I know will be a battle with the scale in the weeks to come. Cheers to you all!

That's great. I like how proud your husband looks in the photo on the stairs. Good work. Deano

I saw some people after a 65 lb. loss and not one word and it hurt me. Next time I see these cousins will be around March or April. What counts is my husband, sons and their wives (one not so much because I now wear her size) and my brother's family. Just smile!

you go!

I've been married for 14 yrs and my husband says we as woman are more bothered by our weight and appearance than they as men are. When they love us that's just what it is. Your husband loves you the good and the bad that you feel about yourself. Therapy may help but you have to love yourself as much as he does. Sounds like you don't believe you are worth loving. You and your marriage will be fine just keep loving him and allowing him to love you. I hope everything works out for you. Once you get use to being sleeved ( like a routine ) it won't be such a big deal. You just get use to it and its just something you become comfortable with because it a part of you. Hope that helped, Jenipher