Friday the 13th was my one year anniversary. And...I finally broke down and went shopping for some new clothes. I had no non-work clothes at all to wear and wanted to wear something for a night out with friends. All of my work clothes are hand me downs from another friend of mine losing weight. I decided to skip trying on the size 16s. Even though I thought there was no way I was fitting in the 14s. they looked so small. I have been wearing 16's but they were all light weight "stretcy pants" --and we all know jeans are different! But even though they are all getting big, I was shocked to fit in a size 14. I fit in every pair I tried on and actually got to decide which pair I liked more, and which ones I didn't like...not only just buying the ones that my butt fit into.

But--after all this. I don't feel like I'm a size 14. I don't feel like I look that much different, even though it's obvious to me in pictures and in other people's reactions. It's almost funny. When I started this journey I said I would be happy to just fit in a size 14...but now that I'm here, I'm not satisfied. I still feel like a fat chick with a cute face. Now, I've reassessed my goal --to a size 10. OMG.. it's actually a possibility.

I'm one of the ones that took forever to start losing. Now that I'm at my sweet spot, 7.1 ccs in a 10 cc band (I only got small fills every couple months and had to wait 2 months before getting the first one), I finally feel the weight coming off.

But my question is this...am I supposed to feel skinny now? How should a size 14 feel? I'm still struggling mentally with the loss. I have to realize that everyone's first reaction to me is not, damn she's fat. I have to realize that it's really happening for me this time. Maybe that's why I never bought new clothes...I thought I'd gain it back again??? And now that I'm a year out, maybe it's the realization that this time it's working??

How does everyone else feel after gettin down to a normal size?

Sorry for the vent. My hubby just does not understand... Supportive yes, but everyone here really understands.

Thanks for listening.

Crystal

Hi Crystal, I know exactly how you feel. I went from a size 24 and even found a 26 in my closet when I went to clean it out to a size 12 right now. A true size 12 in everything including jeans. It is such a strange feeling. I still find myself drifting over into the plus size department sometimes and I have to jerk myself back and think "ok, you don't have to go there anymore." I have heard so many people say they can't wrap their mind around the fact that they are smaller now. I feel the same way. It is going to take time for my mind to catch up with my body. I also did like you. I was so satisfied and happy with the fact that I was in a size 12. I was estatic! But, it was short lived. I am critizing myself now and wanting to be at my goal weight already. I look at myself in the mirror and think I am fat. I am overweight but nothing like I was and I should be happy about that and I am but at the same time it isn't good enough. I am rambling sorry. Just wanted you to know your feelings are not alone. Hang in there. You are doing great and will get to your goal. Good Luck!

Wow--you have done fabulous.

Thanks for the words. I know we all have similar mentality issues ... if we didn't have food and weight issues, we'd be normal sizes right!

Thanks again.

I know this is going to sound silly, but, stand in front of a full length mirror at least twice a day and only say good things about yourself. You would be surprised how much this will help your self image. Don't look at the negative body, only the positive body and keep saying something nice to yourself. You are teaching the brain to accept a "new you".

Some days I wished the surgery could fix more than the amount of food we eat or what we weigh. I wished this would also help with head hunger and mental image of ourselves. Though I am not close to goal at all, I have lost 53 lbs since surgery in July. Thats alot of weight in a short amount of time. I've gone from 4x shirts to XL, 26 pants to 20. In Tommy Hilfiger jeans no less! Logically I know I have lost the weight, my clothes are smaller and the scale is moving. But when I look at myself, I see a HUGE belly, flappy bat wings on my under arms, nasty ugly floppy fat on my UPPER thighs. And lets not even mention the girls hangin to the floor. And I want to cry! Because of what I did to myself by over eating for years, for having to have weight loss surgery, for having all this skin as my punishment...

Everyone around me see a huge weight loss, smaller belly, skinnier face, someone well on the road to a healthy weight. They see me laughing more, relaxing more, and even venturing to wearing clothes in the right sizes. I just brought new jeans 2 weeks ago, I have been wearing my 26s when I needed 20s. They see it, why cant I?

Anyways, congrats on your weightloss. You have worked hard for it and deserve to be proud of yourself.

Thanks guys. This is exactly what I mean. I want to be able to see what everyone else sees. I have moments of clarity where I'm like wow...I really do look great. Then I see that skin on my upper thighs or the pooch-thingy at the top of my stomach (you would think one pooch is enough, right???) that I notice when I stand to the side (which has always been there, but it used to be alot bigger). Logically, I know all of this, but I guess this comes from years of body-image issues!

It'll get better. I'm going to try the talking to myself thing!

Thanks all!

Crystal

I feel the same way I've lost 40 pounds and have dropped from size 22 to size 16. I also drift to the plus sizes and have to pull myself back to the smaller sizes. I'm more comfortable in my big baggy shirts and pants I want to hide behind my clothes. My sons, 21, 20, 17 & 14 keep telling me to buy new clothes, "it's time mom." Then when I did I said there is no way I can fit in a 16 I haven't seen that size in a long time and here I am wearing them. My shirts from 2xl to 3xl now a comfortable xl. It is very hard to get use to being smaller. I look in the mirror and still see this "fat mom" in there. That's one of those mental things I have to get over. I'm working on it. Everyone says, wow you look great, they call me skinny, but on the inside I still feel "fat." and from all the postings I guess that is a normal feeling. I just wish it would go away, so when I look into that mirror I see that "skinny mom." Wow it's so nice to know you're not crazy when you read these postings and everyone feels the same way you do. I love reading them and knowing I'm not a freak or going crazy. Others really do feel the way I do. Hang in there everyone we're doing this and it's great. :biggrin: