:confused:Hi 2 days until my band and I'm wondering if and what you tell people about your new lifestyle. I have told a few people about my decison to get this and it has been negative. Has this happened to anyone else ? Once I start losing weight I'm going to have to explain it. What do you guys say when people notice the weight loss.

My upfront attitude may be a problem because of the food police issue. I find that by engaging in constant conversations with the food police all I do is talk about the band. I fear becoming a bore with it. I am going to a cocktail party Friday night with close friends, so I know a lot of questions will be asked. There will be the concerned friend, the nosey friend and the negative friend. In addition: their husbands. Which is something I don't have and it adds an interesting element to our mix since I will be getting attention through the questions while they may be pushed to the side. Usually all eyes and ears are on them with the latest vacation, home remodel, new car or brilliant accomplishment by their child. It already has created a shift in the dynamic. Some are not happy and I will decide how to handle this as time plays out and weight falls off. If cutting someone out helps me heal and get healthy, tough, I will do it.

As I re-read some of this it looks like I am jealous with what they have. That is not the case, but being single so long in a field of married people, you come to see (and rightfully so) that family life is the center of their worlds, not the way careers, books or other interests (my band) are for me.

I wish I had not told quite so many people.

I only told a few people before my surgery.

I have a feeling that after you start losing, you may not be so worried about telling people about it.

I've head that when asked how they're losing weight, people say, "Healthy food and exercise." It's not a lie - you will be eating better foods and moving it.

Good luck to you!

Ignore those people because what you are doing is going to good for you not for them...I have only had a negative response from a few people, two women at my vet's office who were bigger than me and my so called friend who is heavy and she is so jealous!!! Good Luck you will do great and tell who you want...Celebrate this major decision and great life change!!

I only told my sister. It’s a medical procedure and it’s a personal choice how much you let people know about your health. I figure I’ve always been able to lose weight, so people will just expect me to eventually gain it back. I have already on day 3 of my pre-op diet and cut out soda a week before that. I have a personal trainer and still have 6 months left on my contract. So, after I am band I will tell anyone who asks, I am watching what I eat and working out. I know people who have a pace maker or mesh screen from a hernia repair that don’t tell just anyone. I am viewing my lap band as a medical tool that will help me lose weight and keep it off. I don’t feel the need to explain any part of my health to anyone else. I think whatever you decide will be the right decision for you!

This is a great question and a great debate.....I told close friends and colleagues and now the entire world knows although I haven't been "outed on Facebook" yet.

I did receive some negative reactions from close friends, one of whom commented that I "just wanted to be a size seven." I'm 5'10" and will never in this lifetime be a size seven. A size fourteen would be nice.

To combat the nay sayers, I compiled a list entitled "I want" and proceeded to list the many things I want to do once I lose my targeted weight. Some were funny and others were serious and, judging from the responses, those to whom I sent the emails "got it."

My humorous reasons included not wanting to have to double tie my shoes fearing I'd have to bend over to tie them again, stepping onto an elevator keeping part of my foot on the floor I was leaving so I wouldn't shake the entire car, not destroying someone's soda in the cupholder next to me in a movie theater when I sat down, wanting to sit comfortably in sporting event seats and not wanting my thigh on top of someone else's in a golf cart....and the list goes on.

People may judge you as having flown the white flag but you have not. The program I'm with made us list every diet we've ever tried, how much we lost and how much we've gained back. This was a real eye opener as I saw on paper how many times I lost weight and soon thereafter gained it back.

You are taking control of your life. You are planning for your future and you are taking care of yourself. It's your decision what you tell people but don't ever let anyone make you second guess what you're doing for YOU! It is for you more than anyone else and then your family.

You tell them what you want to tell them and know in your heart that you are the primary reason you are doing something about your weight.....try an "I want" list....It's actually pretty therapeutic!

:w00t:

Love the idea for an I WANT LIST! Starting one now :w00t:

This is a great question and a great debate.....I told close friends and colleagues and now the entire world knows although I haven't been "outed on Facebook" yet.

I did receive some negative reactions from close friends, one of whom commented that I "just wanted to be a size seven." I'm 5'10" and will never in this lifetime be a size seven. A size fourteen would be nice.

This really angers me (not what you're saying, what your friend said). What exactly is WRONG with wanting to be a size 7, or more generally what is wrong with wanting to lose weight to look better?.Would you say to someone having breast implants "oh, you just want big tits"? Well, DER, that's the whole point. As it is with weightloss, of COURSE for many people one goal is to look great.

I had no real health issues - they were starting to develop - but for me, this was very much a cosmetic decision too. I think I was more concerned with what my future held Healthwise and how fast old age was going to catch me at the rate I was going but damn I wanted to look good too.

I am also five foot ten and I would be a size seven to eight in your sizes. I do not look sickly, scrawny, I am not obsessed with food and exercise (although I do love love love to exercise) and I maintain it very easily.

I wake up every day feeling so darn good becuase I am in control, I am steering my life towards what I want. It has given me confidence in so many areas and just knowing I look good and feel really really good about myself makes me really happy. Its not everything of course, but mental and emotional wellbeing is an important part of your health and if you're a person who just wants to get healthy at whatever size then that's fantastic, and if you're a person who wants to be fashionably thin and dress a certain way etc, then that's ALSO fantastic. We can choose our own goals and I think people like your friend who suggest it like its some sort of shameful vanity are quite ignorant and oftentimes very jealous.

For me it was easy, Just tell them the truth, and since the surgery I've had nothing but compliments telling me how much weight they noticed I'm losing.

Only my wife knew before the procedure but told everyone when I had it done , and nothing but postive remarks and a lot of curiousity, so no issues for me , and as time progresses everyone keeps on congratulating me and commenting in positive ways re my reducing statistics, I dont think anyone really has any issues , if anyone did I would say what the hell anyway , I did it for me and my health , to hell what anyone else thinks I say . :smile2:

I haven't heard a negative word about it from anyone I know... EVERYONE has been supportive and I told pretty much everyone and now the hospital I went through is talking to me about being featured in an Ad. At first I was a little hesitant, but it's really growing on me... keep me motivated (mostly to exersize) and maybe help other people. A few people will ask "can you eat that?" and I'm like YEAH.. watch me... granted I don't eat much of it.. but I eat it ;o) I don't feel left out of life... it's great.

I only told a few people ahead of time because I wanted to make sure I actually did have it and everything went okay. Mostly my immediate family and co-workers who see me everyday. Now I'll tell people if they ask. I am not embrassed by it and I'm proud of my choice. Maybe telling others will inspire someone to do the same. I hear people say, "I just cut out soda, or I snack less" and they are thin. I tried other peoples diet options and would not work and I'd get mad. I'd rather be honest about it.

I will say that the majority of people I have met with the band have had positive feedback from those they told. With that said, there have also have been negative comments or actions that have made people regret telling them. Some people get jealous (a biggie), tell you it's cheating etc. I know those kind of people have caused un-needed stress and anxiety to the bandsters.

I don't feel it is my respnsibility to enlighten the world on my surgery. More importantly, I don't feel it is anyone's business. I only told a few people and am happy with that decision.

If people feel compelled to tell the whole world, then I say go for it. If it helps them be successful with the band, then all's the better. If your more of a private person and that isn't your scene, then do whatever works for you.

Your main objective is to succeed with the band and feel good while doing it.

I will say two things.......I don't think it is lying, not to tell people. Smaller portions, no or low carbs, protein shakes, exercise, water and no junk food is what we're doing.

Secondly, once you tell someone you can't take it back. Also, most people can't keep a confidence, so keep that in mind if your telling a blabbermouth, because your business will be all over the neighborhood, job, family, etc. in a heartbeat.

Do whatever you feel is right for you. This is one topic that only you know what the right thing to do is in your circumstance.

Good luck to you!

Thank-you everyone who responded, some great advice. I'm one day pre-op and can't wait for the pounds to come off.

If you can't tell the truth why bother telling people anything at all!!!

I don't really need anybody's approval or opinion so I just state the fact "I had lapband surgery" like it or lump it....the truth is the truth!

I was banded on 10/15/09,I went through my 6 month pre op hoops with only the support of a very few and their word to not share the info with all. After my surgery they were free to let who ever they cared to know. So,I guess I am out of the closet ,I am obese and need a better tool to battle what I ve battled all my life. Actually its kinda freeing ,I don't care what others who truely don't care about me THINK about the method to my current maddnes.:tongue_smilie: