Hi everyone. Here's my intro post!

I am a 39 y/o artist, Mom and Wife and have been fussing over my weight since I was 13. A day hasn't gone by in that many years that I haven't thought about food or my weight from the time I wake up to the time I go to sleep.

Some history: I was athletic as a child--tall and lean and often called "too skinny". Then, I had a little weight gain around puberty (size 7 to size 9) and then woved steadily upward through my teens to a 12. In my early 20s, I gained 100 lbs in one year (size 12 to size 16). Then, I stayed at a size 16/18 for 15 years before gaining 50 pounds more in the past year or two. I blame stress for this one. (two military deployments, a relationship crisis, a high-risk pregnancy with 6 months of bed rest, a near-fatal car accident, and quitting my job to stay home with my son). Now. I wear a size 24 on a good day. And there aren't many good days because I am anxious, depressed and tired all the time.

Comorbids are: Upper Airway Restrictive Syndrome (similar to sleep apnea), PCOS, joint and muscle pain and constant irritability.

I love fashion but can't wear what I want. I make custom leather products and have already grown out of a display model I made just this Spring! I am running out of sizes and styles that are wearable. My next fashion step is the mu-mu and I REFUSE to go there. I made a vow today that I will not buy myself one more plus-sized outfit. EVER---even if I have to tie myself to a bed and wire my mouth shut.

I have also entered menopause and all my fat (which I carry around the waist) seemed to drop overnight. When I walk, I can now feel my stomach on my thigh. Because of the injuries from my accident and the intrusion of my fat rolls, there are simple things (like fastening a bra) that I need help with. Sometimes, I have to take a shower after using the toilet because I can't reach my butt to clean it properly. That hurts to type but it's time to be honest.

I am tall and my most comfortable weight has been around 170 but I haven't seen that number since around 1990. I have chosen that now as my goal weight. But really, I would just be happy if I didn't have a roll of fat on the back of my neck.

Like most of you, I have spent years denying, dieting and settling but I can't do that anymore. The truth is, my weight is out of control and I need help getting it together.

My most successful weight-loss attempt was the diabetic diet during pregnancy. I lost 12 lbs while pregnant. Go figure.

My diet of choice has always been basic healthy-eating with exercise plan but the results never come and I give up. It took me two years of 5-day workouts at the YMCA and a low-fat vegetarian diet to lose only 20 lbs. I was able to climb a mountain at the end but my size was basically the same. It left me frustrated and discouraged.

I am not afraid of exercise. In fact, I LOVE it (if I can get to the gym or motivate myself to get started). I love to swim and work the elliptical machine and weights.

I love food but at this point, I would eat dried grass for the rest of my life not to feel this way anymore. (I have said this before in my life and ultimately failed).

So, here I am looking at lap-bands. I went to a seminar today and was pleased with everything I saw and heard. I only have one thing holding me back.

What if I can't stop myself from eating past the full point?

How will the lap-band stop me? Being full doesn't stop me now. I am full right this second and planning to go find a snack any minute now.

The seminar host told us that what stops her from overeating is the throwing up process. She said she ate a doughnut after surgery and never did it again. I do hate to vomit. But is that enough to stop obsessive/head hunger? Until I can answer that question, I can't make a strong decision because I won't put myself through this just to fail. Right now, I am just going through the process, researching and meeting people to learn as much as I can.

I am dead-set against Gastric Bypass and lap-band is the only procedure I would ever consider. Since I can't seem to do it on my own, it's either this or die fat and early. I can't do that to myself or my family. I have the most perfect, darling little boy and I need to be here for a long time to watch him grow up.

I am usually the person on forums who gives all the advice but I can't do that here. This time, I think I need to shut up, listen and ask for help. So, I'm asking:

How did you deal with the emotional/head/obsessive eating?

What did you say to yourself when visions of cupcakes floated into your consciousness?

Does anyone have TriCare Standard who can talk to me about options and OOP costs?

Who is having a hard time with the band/lifestyle changes and what are you doing to change your thinking or behaviors in order to make it work?

Is there anyone here who regrets having it done?

If you are a survivor of abuse (like me) and put on weight as a protective shell, how did you feel when your body was vulnerable and exposed after weight loss? How did you deal with it?

How does losing the weight (or having the band) affect your relationships with others?

Would you do it again if you could?

Who here has gained weight back and why?

Do you tell people you had surgery? I ask because so many people consider it "cheating" even though we know it is hard work. (I have considered not telling anyone BUT I have a big mouth and probably can't keep it shut even if I try)

I have a question for you HH. This is a "lapband" website as indicated by the site name "lapband talk". Since you love the GB and have nothing good to say about the LB - why don't you spew your thoroughly investigated knowledge on a GB site??? At this time next week I will have been banded. I read posts on this "lapband" site to familarize myself with the after surgery surprises. I investigated GB and LB. I chose LB - that is why I chose this site. I am sure the subscribers on a GB site would appreciate your rhetoric more than bandsters!

“I have a question for you HH.”

Great. I’m always open to questions and comments from reasonable people.

“This is a "LAP-BAND®" website as indicated by the site name "Lap Band Talk".”

Yup. This IS a Lap band site. And…..I have HAD a Lap Band. That qualifies me to be here.

“you love the GB and have nothing good to say about the LB…”

Ok. Where did I say ANYTHING bad about the Lap Band? POINT ME to it. I pointed out some FACTS about it, that there ARE some problems associated with it. But those are FACTS. And if you are going to have a Lap Band installed without being aware of those FACTS, then you are NOT a fully informed patient. And who said I “love” the GB? It has WORKED very well for me….but that doesn’t mean I “love” it. My preference would have been to NEVER have gone through ANY of this.

“- why don't you spew your thoroughly investigated knowledge on a GB site???”

I don’t “spew”. I excrete, I secrete, and on occasion I squirt, but I never “spew”.

Oh, and I DO talk about this stuff on a LOT of different sites. And yes…it IS “thoroughly investigated knowledge”…..but most importantly, it has been EXPERIENCED…..by ME.

“I investigated GB and LB. I chose LB - that is why I chose this site. I am sure the subscribers on a GB site would appreciate your rhetoric more than bandsters”

And congratulations on having made a decision. I hope you have indeed made the RIGHT one for YOU. Many people do NOT. They make their WLS decisions based upon Advertising, Marketing materials, and their “comfort zone”. They come here having already made their decision, and are looking for support in that decision….whether or not it’s the RIGHT one. Years ago, I did something similar. And it almost cost me my life. I’m NOT here to convince people to choose the Gastric Bypass or ANY OTHER surgery. I’m here to remind them that there are OTHER options, ALL of which should be considered.

In case you have jumped to any conclusions about me based upon this exchange, please be aware that I am NOT opposed to the Lap Band. Not at ALL. I am very supportive of people having the Lap Band …IF….that is really what is needed, in their UNIQUE, SPECIFIC case.

Do a search here on LBT…use “agnes” as the search term. You’ll see that I am very supportive of People being banded.

My problem is that people don’t often do ALL of the research they really need to do to make the RIGHT decision about which WLS to have. That was the situation with me, and it resulted in years of poor health, many, many thousands of dollars in medical bills, years of lost employment, etc….it was an absolute mess.

There are different Weight Loss Surgeries. They are meant for different types of people, with different types of eating disorders.

The Lap band has been sold/marketed as a single-stop solution for EVERYONE’S weight issue. The fact is, though, that it does NOT work for everyone. The reasons it does not work are varied. Some people don’t follow the rules. Some people have a surgeon that doesn’t know what they are doing. And for SOME people, it was the WRONG SURGERY.

There is a misconception that the entire Weight Loss Surgery issue is that of a big WLS “Smorgasbord”, and that all you have to do is simply pick the one that tickles your fancy.

That is incorrect.

They are ALL different, and they are meant for different types of people and bodies.

They ALL work (to varying degrees)…..but their long-term (and short-term) efficacy is dependant on some very individual elements. You really need to take the time and the effort to ascertain which WLS is right for you.

Some people need restriction, which is what the Band and the Sleeve offer. Some people need Malabsorbtion, which is the primary mechanism present in the Gastric Bypass. Some need a combination. If you are one of those who crave sweets, who puts on 3 pounds by breathing in the air in a bakery, then you will most likely need the Malabsorbtion element that Gastric Bypass offers. This is also true if you really don’t feel like you eat THAT much, but you continue to put on weight. If you simply eat too much and self discipline is the problem, then the Sleeve or the Lap Band might be the ticket. But, you really have to study the various methods in DETAIL, and be HONEST with yourself about what kind of eating disorder you have.

So, I’m not here to try and convince ANYONE to do ANYTHING….except research. That’s all.

I can tell you bad things about ALL the surgeries. I can also tell you stories of wonderful successes with ALL the surgeries as well. It works both ways. The secret is in finding which surgery is correct for you, finding the RIGHT Surgeon, and then sticking to the rules once you’ve had the procedure.

I do wish you luck with your Procedure. I look forward to reading YOUR success story.

HH

How will the lap-band stop me? If you make good food choices, it will be uncomfortable if you overeat once you have restriction. You may even pb. If you make bad choices that are slider foods ( ice cream, candy, chips, etc.), they go right through the band and it won't stop you. You have to make the choice to not eat them, or to stop with one serving.

How did you deal with the emotional/head/obsessive eating? For whatever reason, food no longer controls me. I still have head hunger, but it doesn't control me like it did before.

What did you say to yourself when visions of cupcakes floated into your consciousness? If I have cupcakes and I want a cupcake, I eat the freaking cupcake. The difference is I eat one instead of 2 or 3 or 4:blushing:.My band is not real tight, because I want to be able to eat a wide variety of foods, and I do, I just eat a lot less of it.

Is there anyone here who regrets having it done?I don't regret even one minute of it.

How does losing the weight (or having the band) affect your relationships with others?I have more confidence and it shows. I am much more outgoing because of it.

Would you do it again if you could?Oh, yeah.

Who here has gained weight back and why? I have only been banded for a little over 15 months, so I haven't gained any back. I am losing slower now, but I did make it through an almost 4 month plateau without gaining. Prior to being banded, if I were "dieting" and I went just a couple of weeks without losing, I would've said "screw it" and ate everything in sight. This of course would have sent my weight skyrocketing. My plateau broke in August and I am slowly losing again.

Do you tell people you had surgery? I ask because so many people consider it "cheating" even though we know it is hard work. (I have considered not telling anyone BUT I have a big mouth and probably can't keep it shut even if I try) I tell everyone, I don't care. Anyone who sees me eating knows it isn't cheating. I make good food choices about 80% of the time and I don't overeat. They love to go out to eat with me so they can have my leftovers!!!

Continue to research the lapband and make the decision that is best for you!

Thanks ya'll. You answers are really helpful! And I don't care if you have had your band for years, weeks, or haven't even had it installed yet. I do want to hear what you have to say. Everybody IS an expert about their own situation and that's what I came here looking for--personal stories.

To Headhunter, there are better ways to get your point across. I can tell that you are passionate about what you have to say and there is some good information hidden in your posts but I don't feel like sifting through all of your negativity to get to the good stuff. You might get a better response if you move your comments to your own personal and cleverly-titled post instead of piggy-backing on mine.

Why I am fat: I am an abuse survivor and gained 100 lbs in 1 year to hide my body. That was 20 years ago and though the reasons for it are gone, the weight remained. Because of PCOS and Menopause, my body holds onto fat. I do not have absorption issues.

Hormones make me hungry...ravenous and it happens mostly at night. I feel nauseus during most of the day so I rarely eat Breakfast or lunch.

However, I eat much more than I think I do without even realizing it. I can tell you (and truly believe it) that I ate only dinner today (and most days) but if I sit down and really think about it, I grabbed a bagel this morning, had an iced coffee, drank two cups of sweet tea (and no Water all day), ate one of my son's chicken nuggets, 3/4 bag of pork rinds (yeah I said "pork rinds"), ate about half a cup of dinner while cooking it to check the taste...then had two turkey dogs, rice and veggies for dinner. Finally, I made brownies with frosting and chocolate candies. I didn't eat the brownies but I did lick the frosting spoon and eat 2 handfuls of the M&ms that went on top. See? I've eaten way more than I thought I did and to think, I was just patting myself on the back for denying myself that brownie!

Yesterday, I was in the kitchen wondering how a PB must feel while drinking some broth. Somehow, I gulped huge air bubble and it stuck right in my esophagus where food might get stuck. It lasted less than a minute and I thought I was going to die. If that's what a PB feels like, there is NO WAY I would risk that to overeat. So I guess I answered my own question :thumbup:

I do have counseling in place and a referral to an eating disorder clinic if I need it. But the more I hear, the more I think I will do really well on the band. I still have more research to do and some appointments to talk to psych and medical people but I am going to start the process and unless something happens to convince me otherwise, I am very happy with what I have learned about the band to date.

I am going to let this thread die a slow and painful death and then delete it. I will start a new one with some more questions I have for ya'll.

Electrawoman, good for you! I love my band, and though I'm losing slowly, the weight is coming off. I don't do it perfectly, but I wouldn't change a thing.

The best of luck to you, and I'll be interested to know how your journey goes.

Debbie

Hi Electrawoman,

I too am new to this post. You story and mine are pretty similar. I have not been through any physical abuse, but verbal abuse is just as bad. I have bee heavy, all of my life and ashamed of my weight. I didn't think I would ever get married because I was too fat. Nevertheless, I did. I have been married for 17yrs and still can not feel completely comfortable with my husband in bed due to my size. Furthermore, I have had 2 children which have added to my weight. I am heavier now than I have ever been and I have finally made up my mind to go ahead with this procedure. I have done major research and this site is really helpful. I am able to get other's true feelings and results and I appreciate that from all those posting. Maybe we can become pen pals so to speak and keep up with each other, motivating each other along the way. I really do like exercise too, but I love food even more. That is why I think this procedure is right for me. I would NEVER EVER have the gastric bypass. My sister did, and she died 5 yrs ago. She suffered so many complications, malabsorption of nutrients and just major intestinal problems since her procedure. She had her procedure when it was first becoming popular and never did really lose much weight-just her life. Anyway, I believe that I can be successful with the band. I just need help curbing my appetite to keep me from mindless eating and grazing trying to find comfort. I don't know if you are very spiritual or not, but I have also found comfort in the word of God which I know will help me through. I am sure that your heart will lead you in the right direction. Feel free to email me if you'd like. Good luck on your journey.

I have a question for you HH. This is a "lapband" website as indicated by the site name "lapband talk". Since you love the GB and have nothing good to say about the LB - why don't you spew your thoroughly investigated knowledge on a GB site??? ...

Dawn,

Useful forums have people with multiple viewpoints. Not everyone is satisfied with the lapband and I want to hear from those folks as well as those preaching about how great lapband is. After all, this is not happyaboutlapbandtalk.com.

Headhunter is coming across extremely arrogant and rude but he is entitled to his opinion and some of us actually want to hear both sides.

Thanks everyone! Great Expectations, please feel free to add me to your friends list. I will add you too (and anyone else who wants to friend me). I am sorry about your sister. That is really sad.

Hi, I ran into one of your posts as I skim around the forums and was amazing by your courage. I am scheduled for the lapband on 13th of this month. I am a firm believer of the lap band and believe I can lose the 160 pounds the doctor tells me I need to lose to be "healthy" even though there are some who would tell me that I would be better off with GB. Wrapping this up, you can chat with me any time as I can honestly say I have experienced all of your questions.

I am sure you have chosen the best surgery for yourself an that is what counts at the end of the day.

Im adding you Mel! I visited my surgeon last night and made my decision for lap-band. I just need my psych eval (probably next week since my counselor is out of town), nutrition class, and Tricare approval. Wheeeeeeee! Heeeeeere I go!

Im adding you Mel! I visited my surgeon last night and made my decision for lap-band®. I just need my psych eval (probably next week since my counselor is out of town), nutrition class, and Tricare approval. Wheeeeeeee! Heeeeeere I go!

Double Thumbs Up for you, Electra!!! I am so excited for you. It takes great courage to make this step and see them through. Anyone who says we are cheating or taking the easy way out obviously has not been through a liquid diet or has fought the battle with obesity.

I had to do the psych evalu as well, which was not as painful as I thought it would be. I an a pretty happy person, so much in fact the doctor ask me if this was my "normal" attitude. LOL The gillzon question survery was asking the same question over and over and asking questions about flying. Heheh!

I had to meet with the nutritionist avd after the surgery I have to take a class with her on the 30th before they release me to eat "real" food, which I believe is the baby food stage. I am so looking forward to that.

I do have another fiend who has Tricare and she was approved rather quickly, a few days i believe. She kvew before the doctors. She is having the surgery just a few days behind me.

Good Luck and I am sending tons of POSITIVE thoughts your way!

PS Thanks for the add!!

thanks! I know that I will be asked a few questions about my struggle with weight and then given the MMPI. I took that test years ago when I worked at a psych clinic so I already know the results, np. I did find out today that triCare requires the eval be done by a psychologist and my therapist is an MA, LPC and some other letters. The surgeon gave me the name of a psychologist and I have an appt on the 16th. yay! My nutrition appt is on the 13th.

I have also decided not to broadcast this decision like most things I do in my life. I told my closest friends, talk here, and will probably leave it at that. It's not everybody's business. I have a big mouth so I hope I can stick to that! ha ha

wow, have you heard of garbage truck people?

I think headhunter may be one.

I hadn't heard of that phrase, hummingbird but for those of you who want to know the good and the bad about surgery and aftermath, go to your local bariatric support group meeting and you will hear all about the problems people are facing. I also found a group here for folks having trouble. I find it is good to see what can go wrong and the information in that group is very helpful. I can read them and ask myself what I would do in that situation. That way, if it happens to me, I will be prepared.

Electrawoman - I also chose not to tell a lot of people. Just a few family members and 2 close friends.

To me a "garbage truck person" is someone who has had many problems, disapointments, and general negative things happen in their life. They gather all this negativity much like a garbage truck that is overloaded, then they dump a little of this garbage on other people they encounter. I try to just stay clear of these garbage truck people. I too have had a very rough life sometimes, but try not to take it out on others and be a garbage truck myself. The law of the garbage truck comes from a guy named David J. Polly. Here is a link to his site :

David J. Pollay's Blog: David J. Pollay's "The Law of The Garbage Truck™"

I am sure Headhunter has much experience that could help us all in this journey, but with all the garbage, the help/support is lost.

I am just starting my lapband journey. I was banded 07/09/09, but will post my experience below to your questions ....