Hi,

This is my first time on here since having my surgery on July 10, 2009.

I started at 397 pounds, lost 13 during the pre-op diet, lost another 7 during the post-op diet, have had one fill and am totally stuck and feeling awful.

I've been feeling insanely defeated, totally useless. I have no restriction and can eat the same huge quantities I could before. What's worse, I am eating whatever the hell I want. It's like my brain is saying, "Well, you have no restriction, so may as well just eat what you want."

How ridiculous is that?!

I saw a psychologist before surgery as was required by my insurance, but she was AWFUL. She tried and failed to finish my sentences correctly and spent most of the meeting talking about how much she loves rice and pasta (my favorites). She also made an assumption that I didn't feel loved as a child! Insane! Now I am basically afraid to go back and see a therapist and feel lost.

I wish they had meetings in the North Mpls./St. Paul area that took place on either weekends or after 7 p.m. I work too late to make it to any of the meetings in my area, so I feel like I have no way of getting support.

I allowed myself to get up to almost 400 pounds! How absolutely ridiculous. And now we've invested all this money, time, and energy into this surgery, and I can't manage the willpower to just say NO, I won't eat that or drink that.

My husband and I want to get pregnant in a year, but if I am not in better health, we will not do it for obvious medical reasons.

I feel like I have to EARN my pregnancy, but even the thought of having a baby doesn't seem to motivate me. I just CAN'T find the willpower within me anywhere.

I am 25 years old and in desperate need of someone like me...close to my age but, more importantly, close to the same weight loss goal that I have which is a hefty 200 pounds.

Are you out there? I need you!

Amy

:thumbup:

Hi Amy,

There are definitely many of us out there who are going through the same thing you are. Number one you have to want to do this for you. Make your health your priority. There are also many of us who see a psych even after the surgery, which I believe helps witht the process. A lot of post op issues are related to "mental" issues with food, your mind tells you one thing, but your body tells you another. It is really hard to break habits, and EVERYONE goes through that. Search around and find a psych that you like, one who will help you. It might also help to see a nutritionist so you can come up with some better ideas then eating anything in site. As far as having support LBT is an amazing site that has some of the most supportive people I have ever met, use that. We all are connected here and have struggled with weight.

I can also relate as far as the amount of weight to lose. I have about 250 lbs to lose, which seems crazy how I will ever do it. I try and break it into small goals, 10 lbs at a time and it seems to help.

How about another fill, have you talked to your doctor about your issues? Maybe another fill will give you the headstart you will need.

Any way I can help you I definitely will, email me any time. I wish you good luck on your journey, and remember we are all in this together!

:thumbup:

I saw a bariatric psychologist named Janice Maidman and she's in St. Louis Park, off 50th and hwy. 100. She's got her own practice and she was wonderful (I had a bad one before that too that did nothing but talk about who I should vote for!!!

Talk to your doctor about your ability to eat large quantities. Know too that you will be hungry.. I"m hungry all the time and am just getting used to it now.

Try to find something that keeps you occupied and hard to eat doing at the same time. Excersise is optimum but try even quilting or scrapbooking, painting... something that keeps your hands full and your mind occupied.

Good Luck! This tread is not very active either. I have gone onto the main site for this - sans the MN part. I'm trying to get a MN thread going but got on there today and lots of great support and info. from around the country.

Hi Amy,

How I feel your pain and anguish, but the band is only a tool, you still have to do the work. . . and it's the hardest thing ever. . .when I was researching the band and saw that it wasn't a fix but only a tool, i wondered if it was for me. . after all it does cost the same price as a small car. . . a total investment. . . but an investment in me and my health. . . i thought it would be very worth it. . . you have the tool Amy, use it to your benefit. . . you are worth it, you are a person with great abilities. . you can do this, you can Amy, hard and all. . . just take it in small amounts. . be happy to lose about 10 pounds a month like brockbabe82 suggested. . i do that and it's fantastic when at the end of the month you weigh and have lost alot more than 10 lbs. . . don't weigh every day either, i weigh once a month and will continue to do that. . . good luck hon. . . i wish you the best as you walk your path. . .