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Seriously curious

BethFromVA

By BethFromVA, in Rants & Raves

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*slim*    2

*slim*
Posted

Your IQ must be less than your BMI. On an odd Thursday. But not if you ate possum 2 days ago. That head hunger won't be a prob if you eat ALL of the possum - ears and teeff too. You cain't get no band local...got to go to one of them backwoods kinda places. Band'll look great around neck. Add some pop tops and you got yourself quite a necklace. It'll also bring in "talkin" from space. And, I KNOW your aunt's cousin's BFF. She ain't no teacher. She just says that so's she can use her paddle.

TPG

:unsure::lol:

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*slim*    2

*slim*
Posted

Man, you guys are good! Can I be like you all when I grow up? I can never get the good zingers in! I think of stuff hours later once the conversation has moved on...

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ThePoolGirl    1

ThePoolGirl
Posted

Also:

Bored woman + wine + variety of topics + a serious love for stooopid stuff =

Great one-liners and other worthless crap :unsure:

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*slim*    2

*slim*
Posted

Slim,

Haven't you heard?: Fat people are jolly. Think Santa Claus!!

TPG

I think I skipped that chapter in my "fat girl" manual.:unsure:

Also:

Bored woman + wine + variety of topics + a serious love for stooopid stuff =

Great one-liners and other worthless crap :smile2:

:wub::lol::(

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BethFromVA    5

BethFromVA
Posted

Speaking of which, my aunt's cousin's BFF's first teacher said that "head hunger" can be controlled by having a 2nd band installed around the neck. Is this true? Can I get it done locally? Will my insurance pay? Do I have to have a low IQ to qualify?

I'd say if your insurance won't pay for it, either wear a REALLY tight choker necklace or simply wear a necktie set on strangle.

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BethFromVA    5

BethFromVA
Posted

What the hell is all this talk about head hunger? I don't WANT any heads! Eyes and cheeks and tongues -- NO HEADS!

By the way, if my band is too tight, can I get constipated? I'm not pooing very well. And when I do, it's got this strange "ring" shape to it...

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*slim*    2

*slim*
Posted

By the way, if my band is too tight, can I get constipated? I'm not pooing very well. And when I do, it's got this strange "ring" shape to it...

:unsure::lol::smile2:

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ThePoolGirl    1

ThePoolGirl
Posted

Dearest Jennifer,

The problem you are having is caused by the Oreos. Apparently you are NOT eating the super-size, double-filled kind. Please refer to your surgeon's instructions before you have nerve enough to post again.

TPG

Un-bandeded, never bandeded, but still an expert on these matters.

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BethFromVA    5

BethFromVA
Posted

Hey I've been banded for nearly a year. I can eat a whole gallon of ice cream, a pack of oreos and a plate of chicken strips in sitting. Do you think I need a fill?

SURE you can! However, you MUST take note to eat these things in the proper order. Ice cream FIRST, since it melts and essentially becomes liquid. Then Cookies next because, let's face it, they're EXCELLENT sliders. THEN the chicken.< /p>

Follow those rules and you're good to go.

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Go To Topic Listing Rants & Raves

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    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

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      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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