I have been a very bad girl. Parts of me just want to keep quiet and "deal" with it. But, I know that if I do that I wont stop, so here goes...

I have been binging very bad lately. I realized a few weeks ago that I could "actually" eat more than 1/2 cup at a time. I kept pushing it and pushing it to see how far I could go at a time.

Nights have been REALLY bad for me. I come home, have dinner, then want something else, then something else. I have to stop eating all the time!

One thing I also have to confess is that I am a little afraid of getting a fill. I can assumet that if I get one that this will no longer be possible. But, I am afraid of only being able to eat a "tiny" bit. I like the fact that I can eat semi normal and still lose.

Please do not scold me...I just needed to let it out and I know that I am being bad! My next appointment is in May and I will get a fill then. I had my band placed in January and was filled at that point, none since. I have lost 43 pounds and keep losing steadily. But, I know that is going to stop if I DONT STOP.

Thanks for listening!

I feel so much better!!! I'm not alone! Great thread! Thanks!!

You guys are all amazing. I have not had a fill yet and on my third week. I can eat pretty much anything as long as I chew to mush. Doc is ok with it. He says heal and don't worry about loosing yet. First fill on Aug 10th.

I just tried popcorn (he said it was fine) and wow, it was awesome. Granted, it was air popped and I had only a bit, but if I was to cheat, this would be it.

I don't know about you guys, but I love going to movies. That is therapy for me. I feel so much better after a good flick. I have been taking pistachios for a snack and that has helped.

I can't wait to loose more weight. Thanks guys for your encouragement.

I confess that last week i pigged out. Yesterday i pigged out and i have been suffering. I had terrible stomach aches and now i am scared that my band could have slipped or too much food caused the pain. I had to take a hydrocodene, the pain was worse than my appendectomy. I confess that i will not cheat again, this is a hard lesson for me. No more cheating , today i am so scared that i have not eaten a single things. Only fluids.

I know I feel like I can eat more and more, but still try to keep it small. I tend to feel pressure to eat more in front of other people so they don't think anything. How do you know when you are full, is there a specific sign. I begin to feel pressure at times and I stop, but I feel that I eat a little more than what is allowed. Don't get me wrong I have been going by the book, but nervous that my mind is telling me ok to eat the food although it should be less.