So I had surgery almost 8 weeks ago, lost over 35 pounds, and a TON of inches. I was disappointed that I went out last night with the girls I haven't seen since Christmas, who KNOW I had surgery, and no one said anything. Not even 'you look good'. I was crushed. I am wearing clothes I haven't been able to wear in two years, I wore high heels that I hadn't been able to walk in, and nothing. I ate half a salad because I wasn't hungry. Nothing. It's like it is a taboo subject? I felt so miserable when I came hom. I have such a long road ahead and I thought, wow, I am so fat no one can notice 35 pound weight loss? Is it just me?

I'm down 70 and have a few friends who have said nothing. I'm sure they just don't know what to say. It's fine. Funny, though, that I always hated the comments about previous weight loss attempts because they made me feel I was the center of attention and wasn't comfortable with it. Now I wouldn't mind hearing it, and they don't know how to say it.

I've taken to quietly taking photos of myself in a full-length mirror and living on my own affirmations and those I get from the ones brave enough to comment.

It's funny...I have friends and family who constantly still commend me, some who still make a big "KUDOS" about it, some who are NOW my friends (ha!), some who no longer talk to me...but what really disturbs me, still a sister who adores me but has yet to say anything personally to me about it all since the day I told her I was having the surgery. Then I heard her tell my mom once I left the room..."it took me 3 skirts to try on today before I found one that fits..." She's never been one in our family to voice her concerns/opinions. But I know where she puts them...in the Lord's hands, as should I with everyone else I see each day!!

I had to lose about 55 lbs both this time and when I did nutrisystem before anyone said, hey have you lost weight? Maybe you carry the weight so well people dont notice that you lost 35 lbs. It will be subtle in your face and most people cant tell inches until its really obvious. I think they only noticed when I changed clothes and wasnt wearing the old clothes they were used to seeing me in rather than that it was obvious I had lost.

Just tell yourself you are doing this for you, because you cant depend on folks to support you except for the online community here who gets it.

For ALL it's worth...because we all know...

YOU GO GIRL!!!

I totally understand how you feel. None of my coworkers know I have the band. I have lost almost 50 pounds and only one has said something about it. Not a word from the others even though my scrubs are falling off and I know they have to notice. I also think it is jealousy. But I try not to let it get to me.

I have a good one for you guys. My mother-in-law, who never ever resisted the opportunity through the years to comment in front of the whole family about my being overweight, hoping my christmas clothing gift was BIG ENOUGH, etc. has not said 1 flippin thing about my weight lossa. NADDA. Just keeps me more focused to succeed. Bring it on woman..lol.

Go figure.

:thumbup:

As for the others, I think like the others have said, they just don't want to say..JEE...you lost a lot of weight, meaning we had a lot of weight to lose previously. I think that is mostly what it is.

Don't worry. We all notice eachothers losses. You did GREAT!!!! Jealousy can be a nasty state of affairs. Just tell yourself, it's THEIR problem now. Not yours, and SMILE!!!

oh wow, that is exactly what i am experiencing. my MIA and certain other friends have not asked me "how are you" "wow you look great" since my surgery 6 weeks ago. it just galls me. when ever i see anyone at work or whoever lose weight i make a big fuss about it because i like to see people feel good. sometimes people are just ignorant. oh they notice and they are letting that ugly green face show.

Abbey,

You know what you have accomplished and you know you deserve compliments BUT for whatever reason these people just don't get it. I have lost 60+ pounds and peoples reaction is a big joke because you would not believe the comments I get like "Wow you look great... oh its your new hair style!" come on now if a new hair style could make you look 60 pounds thinner the stylist would be so busy you couldn't get in for an appointment. THink about it this way; what they don't say is louder (which is GIRL you look great) than what they say( which is nothing)! Hang in there the good comments are on the way! Like yesterday I went into a shop that has one side Plus sizes the other size regular sizes and when I went to pay the cashier said "wow you look great , didn't you used toshop on the other side. SO hang on the comments are on the way.

Hey Abby,

Funny you should mention this. Women are....unpredictable. OMG!! It would have been nice to hear a "How's it going, you look great". It wouldn't have caused a need for any further talk on the subject unless you wanted to. I choose not to think that all women are envious and that all people are hurtful. 35 pounds, inches, etc. is definitely worth celebrating. I'm sending a big southern CONGRATULATIONS your way cause you deserve it. Instead of worrying about these "friends/girls" I suggest that you draw your support from the people most willing to give it. Your DH is one of them along with the wonderful people here on this site. Never feel bad about celebrating your hard earned successes. Best of everything to ya!

As for the others, I think like the others have said, they just don't want to say..JEE...you lost a lot of weight, meaning we had a lot of weight to lose previously. I think that is mostly what it is.

I agree with this statement for sure. I have felt that way when I have seen someone that I think has lost weight, I am afraid that my compliment will be misconstrued. Which really is silly because if someone complimented me, I certainly wouldn't take it like that!

I think some people don't say anything because to them you are just the same person and the outside doesn't mean much to them. My DH is like that, he never says anything about how much weight I lose. But on the other hand, he doesn't say anything about how much I gain as well!

My husband is the same way. He never said anything when I was heavier and he doesn't say anything now.

They are jealous belive me!