It's one of the things Im most afraid of. Anaesthetics make me morose and weepy anyway. Will I come home and cry over what I have done?

Do you find enormous challenges in overcoming the reasons you overate despite the band stopping you from doing so. I can picture myself prowling the house desperate to relieve those feelings that I used to eat to relieve.

At the moment, I think about food and my weight constantly. What I'm not going to eat, how I'm going to avoid it, how I can get away with eating it, etc etc. Does that ever go away?

What I would like is to one day be a normal person who eats whatever they feel like eating when they're hungry, until their not hungry and then not think about food again until hunger strikes? Can this ever really happen?

If it can, if you can achieve that do you think its to do with physical hunger or is it a psychological journey? Do I really need a band to undertake that journey?

I really feel like I"ve seen a light these last few days. I now know what I have to do but I'm not sure if I need a band to do it.

You still have the psychological journey (at least I did) but the band definately helps with the physical. In some ways, the band also helps with the psych since some foods don't work well, you don't have the hunger, etc. When I do get a mental need to eat, I stop much quicker.

For example, I need crunchy foods. I have recently found some good Protein chips but before this, I have been buying 1 bag of chips a month and that lasts 3-4 weeks. Since I get them from a monthly food coop order, I wait until the next order ($2 cheaper a bag). In the past, even with all of the self control in the world, I would go through 2 bags (or more) a month. The band is helping me but I also need strength and patience.

Hope this helps.

I understand where you are coming from. I have the same feelings. I have not had my first fill. I will Monday the 8th. However, it was very hard and I tried to talk myself out of it sort of like it sounds like you are doing now. Don't do it, stick with it and keep on going. I know deep in my soul (after 20 years of trying) I can't go it alone. I realize I need my band. I have high blood pressure and type II diabetes as well as sleep apnea. I feel NOW no matter what, I would have died going the direction I was going. Don't look back to yesterday look only towards tomorrow!!!!!!! Still after 6 weeks I still have mixed emotions but I refuse to back out now!!!

Also, one more point...I don't know your age, but how many times over the years have we told ourselves by Christmas I want to lose 20 lbs and never make it. How many times do we say by summer I want to lose 30 pounds only never to make it? Now we know with lap band we will lose the weight and know there will be no more broken promises to ourselves. I think for all of us in the beginning it is hard because we are going into unfamiliar territory and even at 38 that scares me.

Good Luck!!!!!

I will go and see the surgeon, its $105 for the visit and our Medicare system here will rebate half of that so there's not much to lose.

I think I'm afraid of never having the joy of a major pig out again. I thought I was just hopeless with willpower but now I've realised after considering this process that food does fulfill some sort of a need in me. The thought of not having my old friend to comfort me, soothe me is quite frightening. But feeling that way does tend to indicate if I dont do something now, I may well be pushing 300lb in a couple of years doesnt it?

On a practical level I'm REALLY concerned by the typical sort of diet everyone seems to be following (read the food journals). They dont come close to the health recommendations in this country. I do NOT want a band so that I can forever live on Protein drinks and other processed crap. Fresh fruit, fresh vegies, good wholegrain products are vital for your health! I dont want to die skinny with my arteries completely clogged and I dont want cancer either!

I have the exact same questions and fears right now. I think sometimes the band won't help me because I think emotionally the food is something to me I haven't been able to fix. Food and weight is an obsession for me. I know just what you meant when you responded to my post earlier about just wanting to eat when you are PHYSICALLY hungry, be full and then not think about food until you are hungry again. I have said to my boyfriend a thousand times "Hunger has never been the issue." I literally dream about sweets. What a wacko! Just night before last I was literally dreaming about a fantastic soft chocolate chip cookie. Now if a band could get rid of that, I might have a fighting chance. Of course, in reality that is not going to happen and I don't know how to fix whatever is wrong with me. And I don't know if I have the strength it takes to be successful at the band lifestyle. I don't want to go through this just to mess it all up on down the road. I am like you, I want to just kick myself in the pants (AGAIN) and see what I am made of. I want to try and do this on my own. I made up my mind (AGAIN) this morning to give losing weight all I have. Maybe I should try counseling too (AGAIN). I don’t know where this journey is going to take me. I think I know just where you are right now, though, and I feel your agony. I am back into my vicious circle of thought of the fifty ways to lose a pound. A normal day in Angel’s life. Please keep us updated on your journey. I want to know how this all turns out for you.

About 4 days after surgery, my husband and I went to a friends house for dinner - nothing fancy - we all have kids - just hamburgers, hotdogs, chips, salad, cake.... but there I was drinking tea, cuz I couldn't eat. I almost cried. I felt hungry - I don't know if it was mental or physical - but I was HUNGRY. I've always used food as a stress "reliever" I guess, and now don't know how to "deal" with stress. Anyone have any suggestions? I've heard: try exercising or get a hobby, but nothing seems to be as "comforting" as my old standby - FOOD. I did have a physc evaluation before surgery and was very confident in giving up my "best friend", but now I'm having doubts about ACTUALLY doing it.

Jack, That's a really interesting theory, it makes a lot of sense.

Everyone else, I totally relate to what you are all saying. I too had reservations about getting my band because I know what my habits are. I am a boredom and a stress eater. I went ahead with my surgery because I knew that was never going to go away and I am still dealing with my issues now ten weeks out. I believe I am now ready for my first fill (scheduled later this month). Yesterday was a bad day eating wise for me and the bulk of it was in the evening. I have found that I can eat fresh fruits and vegeatables as well as most hard Protein (beef takes a looong time to chew) so one shouldn't worry about being able to eat healthy items. The tendancy is to eat unhealthy things (at least in my case) because they are so much easier to chew to death. This is something I am going to have to really work on and I suspect I'm not the only one this is relevant to. I also have a habit of stockpiling groceries then worrying about things going bad. This is a horrible habit after having the band. My freezer and cupboards are at capacity. So you see the habits you have before you will have after, I now have a tool to use to cope with my issues. I too still have work to do and I know it's going to take me some time, maybe a lot of time....I'm going to try and pick one thing at a time and work on that. Good luck and good fortune to you all with your battles.

On a practical level I'm REALLY concerned by the typical sort of diet everyone seems to be following (read the food journals). I do NOT want a band so that I can forever live on Protein drinks and other processed crap. Fresh fruit, fresh vegies, good wholegrain products are vital for your health!

I've researched a bunch on what the dietary recommendations are post-banding because I was also concerned -- and everywhere I look they are recommending healthy, well-rounded diet including all of the food groups. [after the healing stage] There's no recommendations for living on Protein Drinks or processed crap at all -- in fact they tell you NOT to use those things, that you should be eating "hard food" -- i.e. real meat, real grains, fresh fruits & veggies, etc. rather than drinking your meals if you want the band to really work for you. The healing stage is different of course.

The reason they want you to eat "protein first" is so that your body doesn't eat away at your muscle mass.

I'm sure when you go in for your consult on Tuesday you can ask them to go over the dietary recommendations post-banding/after healing and you'll see it's not a processed junk diet at all.

D'OH! I've been "practicing" the way I would have to eat for the past week, eating very slowly, chewing very well and have been amazed by how much less I am satisfied with.

I got on the scales this morning and have lost weight, my BMI this morning is in the 34's! LOL, I may not have a choice in this anyway unless i can pack a bit on before tomorrow. Hmm, maybe I'll put the weights off Doug's dumbells in my pockets.

That's what's surprised me and made me a bit unsure. It seems to me not gulping and bolting your food and barely tasting it going down is half the problem. I've read a thousand times of course to really enjoy your food but never actually done it. And of course, if you dont overeat as a general rule, you can enjoy anything in moderation.

This has been such an educational experience. If I dont get the band I still have learned some really valuable things about myself to the point where I am actually feeling I can do this. Looking at weight as a health issue too rather than an aesthetic one (and until the last two years I've only really had an aesthetic weight problem) makes me able to break it down into smaller goals in a way I've never done before. I only have to lose 20kg to be "overweight" instead of obese. 20 doesnt sound like much compared to the 40 I've been thinking of.

I'll let you all know how I go tomorrow and whether the health fund will cover me now I"m a skinny 34'er.

That is great. Good luck tomorrow. I already eat as slow as a snail moves, so I guess htat isn't the issue with me. How many times does one need to chew his/her food with the band anyway? Is it a number...maybe a consistency?

Hello everyone,

I was banded on 7/29/05. They told me to watch for mental hunger, and now I know why. Right now it is Mind over Stomach. I find myself wanting to put things in my mouth all the time. Before I do, I ask myself am I hungry and the answer is no.

All this info here has really help me. I struggle like many of you, I eat because it is there. And I would alway ask myself are you hungry and the answer was always, well Im not full. So I would eat it. And now the difference is I am full. My Doctors said that when I do get off the healing stage to start with the Protein then fruit then veggies then carbs. I guess they hope that be the time you get to the bread or tortillas in my case that you will be to full to eat that much.Is any one else a week or two post-op.

Eversoqute;-)

I think that for all of us, we all "know" what we need to do, and how we need to do it. And we all get to the "I can do this" point before every diet, at least, I know I do, and I guess I'm making a blanket assumption there.

The point that the band helps with (for me) is the "SCREW THIS" point of the diet. The point where you are at a plateau, or you think you aren't seeing the results, or you think you've screwed up your diet and you just give up. The band stays there and reminds you that you can still do it, that screwing up is ok if you pick yourself back up and start over again. It helps with the mental by being there physically if that makes any sense.

As Jack said, I enjoy NOT eating tons and tons as much as I might have liked it before. Sure, there's times when I say "gosh, I wish I could have more of that" but I REALLY like that I don't load my plate up over and over again like I used to. It's really liberating in a sense.

Do give it some serious thought tho. If you really think you can do this without surgery, by all means, that's how you should do it. Surgery should be a last resort of course

Let us know how your consult goes, and how you are feeling after

I really feel like I"ve seen a light these last few days. I now know what I have to do but I'm not sure if I need a band to do it.

Yes, of course you don't need the band to do it. You absolutely CAN do it. The question is, will you? Like many of us I have lost big--several times. My last big loss was over 150# and I kept it off for over 2 years. But after gaining 80 of that back I tried and tried over the past year and just could NOT get back into the whole diet workout thing I need to do to lose. I was at the point where I felt HOPELESS.

Hopeless is a very bad place to be. I felt like I was wasting my life.

The band gave me hope. It kick-started me back on track. I've lost over 30 in 2 months--no fill. I had an apointment to get a fill on Monday but I cancelled it. I've got myself under control now and although I am somewhat restricted (have to chew really well) I'm now able to eat anything I've tried in the past several weeks. For lunch I had some turkey, blueberries and pineapple. What could be healthier? I do drink a pro shake every afternoon that I mix glucosamine and flaxseed oil in. That seems to keep me energized for all the exercise I do. I could NOT stay on track w/o exercise. It's the best energy/mood booster I know of.

Marimuru put it perfectly... <The point that the band helps with (for me) is the "SCREW THIS" point of the diet. The point where you are at a plateau, or you think you aren't seeing the results, or you think you've screwed up your diet and you just give up.>

Since I haven't had a fill I'm not severly restricted and could probably pigout if I tried. If that happens I'll go get a fill. Just knowing if I need it I can get it comforts me enough not to need it.

Anyway, you may not be ready. You may not need this--or you may not need it right now. It is always an option you can choose if and when you are ready.

When it comes to losing weight I firmly believe you should do whatever works for you. There are many paths to the "light."

Yes, the screw this part of the diet is where I come unstuck too. I know I can lose 10kg, I've done it a million times. But honestly, I feel like I've had somewhat of an ephiphany these last few days - and I've suddenly reached the point where I feel ready to let go of what's been holding me back.

What I've realised from all my reserch too is that people still get to that point, they have a physical restriction that prevents them regaining so much weight, but they still struggle with these issues. Its my head I feel I need to fix, not my body.

I rang my health fund, they cover it when its medically necessary according to the surgeon. No messing around substantiating it. I've been to the GP for my blood results, my cholesterol is a healthy 4.5, my blood pressure a perfect 120/70 this morning, no sign of diabetes, thyroid problems or any of that stuff. I'm in better shape than I was a year ago and 10kg lighter, thanks to an overall improvement in diet, if not calorie intake. My only problem is my foot which the physio has just discovered now that they've got the swelling down enough to do an ultrasound exam, is adhesions caused by previous heel surgery 20 years ago. Not due to my weight at all, but certainly aggravated by it.

On top of that AF has arrived (no doubt why I was so desperate about this last week) and on top of the kilo or so I've lost this morning, I know that means I'll also be another 2kg lighter tomorrow morning. That puts me fair and square at a BMI of 34. So I rang the surgeon's office and explained the situation, his secretary let me actually speak to him, his verbal advice was that no matter what my dieting and weight history, his policy is BMI 40+ unless there's sigificant comorbidities, which I thankfully do not have.

So peoples Im going to have to go it alone. I feel very relieved and I feel like I've really considered this from angles I've never viewed before. I've had a glimpse of what old age might be like too and I think I've had that mentality of being invincible shaken out of me. I've also got solid evidence that a change for the better in diet does affect your health positively.

I've also sat my husband down and given him a stern talking to (which was really directed at myself, he's never been anything but supportive). I've told him what I need to do and that I'm going to do it regardless of anyone else. I need the time to dedicate to myself, I"ve spent the last 10 years in baby and child mode and I need some time out and he's going to have to pick up the slack. I really need to find permission within myself to do this for me, that's the hardest part.

Some honest soul searching has told me that I've never really had a problem with hunger, its disorganisation, lack of time, lack of care for myself, stress, boredom and lack of direction and paying absolutely no attention to what I'm eating that's led me to this position. A band wont solve any of those things for me. I dont want to be thin and still have those problems. I feel like I want to work on those things and the weight will follow, not the other way round, kwim?

Good luck everybody and thanks so much to listening to the ins and outs of my personal decision over the last week. I may be back in six months of course, but hopefully I wont be. Most likely I'll get a bit of weight off, feel better and slack off a bit, but I'm actually having trouble staying this fat at the moment, lol.

I certainly wish you all the best. I still have not made my decision as of yet. It seems my boyfriend and I are discussing this constantly trying to see it from all angles. We talked today about being honest with each other and discussing what biases we may have hidden about the decision. We want to consider where our motivations are coming from while discussing this option. It may be months before I finally come to a solid conclusion. In the meantime…well, I suppose I don’t know about the meantime. I will do what I can in my water aerobics, take my pain meds like a good girl to get through it (I am really bad about the “No, I am fine” bit and neglecting this –hate the pills), and try to eat as healthily as I can. One day at a time…Tomorrow is another day…all that crap. I hope it’s not just another day wasted. Positive attitude, huh? J I’m working on that. THX -Angel

Yes, the screw this part of the diet is where I come unstuck too. I know I can lose 10kg, I've done it a million times. But honestly, I feel like I've had somewhat of an ephiphany these last few days - and I've suddenly reached the point where I feel ready to let go of what's been holding me back.

What I've realised from all my reserch too is that people still get to that point, they have a physical restriction that prevents them regaining so much weight, but they still struggle with these issues. Its my head I feel I need to fix, not my body.

I rang my health fund, they cover it when its medically necessary according to the surgeon. No messing around substantiating it. I've been to the GP for my blood results, my cholesterol is a healthy 4.5, my blood pressure a perfect 120/70 this morning, no sign of diabetes, thyroid problems or any of that stuff. I'm in better shape than I was a year ago and 10kg lighter, thanks to an overall improvement in diet, if not calorie intake. My only problem is my foot which the physio has just discovered now that they've got the swelling down enough to do an ultrasound exam, is adhesions caused by previous heel surgery 20 years ago. Not due to my weight at all, but certainly aggravated by it.

On top of that AF has arrived (no doubt why I was so desperate about this last week) and on top of the kilo or so I've lost this morning, I know that means I'll also be another 2kg lighter tomorrow morning. That puts me fair and square at a BMI of 34. So I rang the surgeon's office and explained the situation, his secretary let me actually speak to him, his verbal advice was that no matter what my dieting and weight history, his policy is BMI 40+ unless there's sigificant comorbidities, which I thankfully do not have.

So peoples Im going to have to go it alone. I feel very relieved and I feel like I've really considered this from angles I've never viewed before. I've had a glimpse of what old age might be like too and I think I've had that mentality of being invincible shaken out of me. I've also got solid evidence that a change for the better in diet does affect your health positively.

I've also sat my husband down and given him a stern talking to (which was really directed at myself, he's never been anything but supportive). I've told him what I need to do and that I'm going to do it regardless of anyone else. I need the time to dedicate to myself, I"ve spent the last 10 years in baby and child mode and I need some time out and he's going to have to pick up the slack. I really need to find permission within myself to do this for me, that's the hardest part.

Some honest soul searching has told me that I've never really had a problem with hunger, its disorganisation, lack of time, lack of care for myself, stress, boredom and lack of direction and paying absolutely no attention to what I'm eating that's led me to this position. A band wont solve any of those things for me. I dont want to be thin and still have those problems. I feel like I want to work on those things and the weight will follow, not the other way round, kwim?

Good luck everybody and thanks so much to listening to the ins and outs of my personal decision over the last week. I may be back in six months of course, but hopefully I wont be. Most likely I'll get a bit of weight off, feel better and slack off a bit, but I'm actually having trouble staying this fat at the moment, lol.

Jachut you still havent made up your mind!! LOL...its a hard decision!!

Are you seeing the surgeon next week?