• Accept your genetic body type. Your weight, height, and bone structure are strongly determined by your genes. Healthy bodies come in all shapes and sizes.
  
• Stop comparing yourself to others.
  
• Be media conscious. We are bombarded with media messages telling us our bodies are not perfect… Most fashion and women’s magazines focus on an ideal of beauty that is just not something thatanyone in real life can be. Remind yourself that the body images you see are manufactured by make up artists, hair dressers, airbrushing specialists, fashion designers, lighting specialists, and cosmetic surgeons. Also know that many fashion models have eating disorders and are not able to maintain their low body weight in a healthy manner.
  
• Create a Why I like myself List. Think about all the things about you that you like… are you funny? Creative? Honest? Intelligent? Think of all the reasons you deserve to love yourself and write them down. Remind yourself of all the things you are besides a body. Read this list daily and add to it every time you think of something else you like about you.
  
• Create a Body Appreciation List.Think about how your body has been loyally functioning on your behalf no matter how much you fed or starved it. Write these things down (remember that your heart has continued to beat, your lungs continue to breathe, your liver continues to detoxify your body, also perhaps your body has learned a new skill, gotten stronger, taken you to the top of a hill, rejuvenated during sleep, or allowed you to comfort a child, share love with a spouse, or go shopping with friends!). Celebrate your body and the marvelous things it can do. If you’ve had WLS note all the things that your body can do now that it could not do before. How has your life changed because of the changes your body has gone through? Read this list daily and add to it every time you are grateful for something your body has done.
  
• Stop thinking that thinner thighs are the answer to all of life's problems. When you find yourself hyper focused on your body stop for a moment and ask yourself what you would be doing, thinking, or feeling if you were not obsessing about your body. What is this preoccupation stopping you from being present to in your life? Am I in anyway benefiting from focusing on what I believe are my physical flaws? Deal with and set goals about the real issues in your life - relationships, job, etc..
  
• “Act as if you” were comfortable in your body even If you are not quite “feeling it” yet. How would you walk, what would you wear, how would you speak to people, what kind of self talk would you be speaking, what kind of eye contact would you make with others? If you change a behavior the feelings will eventually catch up.
  
• Give up judgments about your body right now!! If you find yourself being critical of your body, stopand acknowledge that this will not support you feeling good about yourself, then respond to yourself as you would to a best friend. For every negative thing you catch yourself saying about your body, apologize to your body and say 2 loving/ appreciative things about your body.
  
• Make a decision to truly “nourish" yourself. Read a good book, take a bubble bath, schedule a massage, get a haircut, dance to your favorite song, make plans with a friend, take a nap, ask for a hug, give yourself permission to say “no”, meditate, pray.
  
• Make it your intention to move and enjoy your body; go walking, swimming, biking, dancing, do yoga, tai chi, etc… not because you have to but because it makes you feel so good. Your body deserves to be treated well.
  
• Surround yourself with people who celebrate and appreciate who you are.
  
• Say “thank you” to compliments without discounting them.
  
• Know that you can control your experience of your life by the thoughts you choose to think. How you experience your life is a direct consequence of your predominant thoughts. By making a decision about the thoughts you choose to think you take responsibility for creating your reality. So if you decide to think about what is not good about your body you will experience not only your body not being good enough but you will also experience your life as never being good enough, always being in a state of waiting till things change before you can really be happy. If you choose to think about what is good about you, what you like and appreciate about you, you will feel gratitude for this life that you experience as abundant and joy-filled! You choose!
  

SELF LOVE AND COMPASSION

is the foundation upon which a healthy body image must be built.

The next time you find yourself being critical of a particular body part, sit down and write a letter to that body part telling it exactly what you don’t like about it and how it makes you feel. Then have that body part write back to you telling you how it felt to read that letter. Then write back to that body part…….. and just notice what happens……….

If you have any questions or comments about this article I would love to hear from you! You can email me at louisa@louisalatela.com or call me at 856.429.9799. To learn more about my telephone support groups visit www.louisalatela.com

www.ysayit.com

Edited January 29, 200917 yr by Louisa

OMG! I'm going to do this. Just reading this made me encouraged. Thanks for this. This helps alot.

I'm so glad this article resonated with you! All the best!

A very good article! Its truly a hard thing to do and being at goal does not make it any easier than it ever was to really accept yourself.

Personally, i think the advice to wait 2 years after you hit goal for plastic surgery is very good advice. I know how I felt and i was fretting about not having the money for PS becuase I *still* wanted to change a million details about myself. I wanted face work, I wanted boobs, I wanted a thigh lift and i wanted a tummy tuck, most of which I dont even need. I just didnt know how to stop wanting to change.

I dont think PS is wrong, not by a long shot (and I am still getting the boobs done), but I think you need to be sure about your reasons because eventually, you need to learn to just be happy with what you are and shift your focus away from changing yourself. Its a very difficult process, but it does come with time.