I am so sick and tired of saying, "Well I'm getting a Lap-Band soon." It is getting so old. If I wanted it to look cute it would be different, I just want to walk and go to school and make friends. I only have one friend left because of my handicaps. I just want a life, I am tired of living the way I do, I want to go out and do stuff, but I can't, and its getting old quick. I feel like every evil force is working against me. Everyday I get on here and someone else is getting approved, why can't I post that?? What am I gonna do? I cant get the surgery till after school starts, I am such a loser.

It is Acid Reflux Disease. I am tired of being the exception to everything. I am always the exception to eveyr rule, I want to be able to do what most peole can do, I want to be able to walk up and down the mall without feeling like my body is going to fall apart, I want to be able to pick up my golf clubs again and play golf, I want to be able to go out of the house without a full medicine cabinet in my purse, I want to be able to not have to explain what is wrong with me all the time, I want to be able to dance, I want to be NORMAL. Anytime I have had the self-confidence to do anything I get shot down, every single time. I go with what works. If I know something has to happen, then it doesnt even if it just had to.

Your wants are perfectly understandable, Jodie. No one can fault you for them. I wish there were something any of us could say that could improve any one of the issues you face, but there isn't. Whatever improvements are going to come will have to start with you and your medical providers. A lot of people report success with acupuncture, have you tried that?

I wish you the best of everything and especially the strength to see the sunshine through the clouds! It's out there, really and truly.

Acupuncture, ow! lol. I dont think my insurance is going to cover that either,lol

Im so so terribly sorry if this offends you, I hope that it will not, but I have to put my two cents in. Why dont you say something POSITIVE!! There has GOT to be something positive in your life. Even if it is Thanking the Good Lord that you were able to get out of bed this AM, and live and breath on your own....you have SOMETHING! I have no idea what you are going threw, I will not pretend that I do...but you Have to look at the glass half full, love. Even at my heaviest I always said... it could be SO much worse... and it could. Thank the lord that you have insurance at all, that you are able to get your meds, and that you have a warm bed to sleep in at night. If you look, I promise your situation is NOT as bad as it could be.

I wish you all the luck in the world.

See, you dont understand. I am not a positive person because I dont have anything really positive in my life. Yes, I admit (and already have admitted this a few posts ago) that it could be ALOT worse, but for my independant situation, I have it rough. Positivity is for positive people, I am a pessimist, nothing good happens to me I have no other reason not to be. I tried about 6 months ago to be positive, guess what happened? I was told that my knees cant be fixed with surgery, I was failing classes because I couldnt goto school, I was not allowed to make-up my work for school because I had missed too much school even though all of it was excused with doctor's notes, my specialist lied to me constantly, and my specialist also jipped my family out of about 1500 dollars in equipment that I did not even need.

Acupuncture, ow! lol. I dont think my insurance is going to cover that either,lol

But it may, you never know. Acupuncture is a method of pain relief that is rapidly gaining wide acceptance, and lots of insurance plans cover it to some degree (like providing referrals and discounts, for example). It does NOT hurt itself, and can bring immense relief for all kinds of ills. Your knee pain in particular may respond to it.

I actually know someone personally who could not find a treatment that worked for her acid reflux disease, for years. She found an acupuncture practitioner and started treatments, and the stress relief she found immensely improved her reflux condition. It's definitely an avenue to explore.

My point is that negativity breeds negativity. It is not doing you ANY favors to see the world through such dark glasses. The most successful people put their challenges in perspective and look around them, over them, or through them but they don't let themselves give up. That's what you're doing in your spirit.

Just exaclty where am I going to find a ching-chang-chong in deep east Texas that doesnt do nails? LOL! We don't have that here, and if we did I would be scared to go to them because things to come to this little podunk town lol. We dont have anything here.

I have been fighting for everything that I have needed or wanted for 17 years, I had to fight for my life when I was born. Ironic though how many times I prayed to God to end it. I am tired of fighting, my body is litterally tired, I dont feel like doing anything. I will want to go do it, but I am so weak its hard to get out of bed in the morning, so I get up and goto the computer and work on history homework

You may be surprised. Look around! I don't know much about Texas, but you will never know until you try.

The closest possible would be Houston and I cant drive that far by myself or in traffic. Mom and Dad work full-time jobs and they have used all the days they could on me already.

Once again you're coming up with reasons why something is impossible. I suppose you're right, then.

Just exaclty where am I going to find a ching-chang-chong in deep east Texas that doesnt do nails? LOL! .

At least stop with the discrimination stuff, if you are going to do it yourself.

I dont know what else to say to you. I dont know how to help you, or even give you words of encouragement. Maybe you just need to vent, you dont really want help?

Jodie, you will only find what you look for. If you only look at the glass being half empty, you will only see what you don't have.

Everybody has a hard life. Everybody. But by that same token, everybody has an easy life. Everybody.

I firmly believe that before we are born we agree that we have certian life lessons to learn. Some of us pick easy lessons, some pick harder lessons. Personally, I picked some very, very tough lessons to learn. Sounds like you picked some difficult lessons too.

Statistics don't prove anything. I can take numbers and make them appear to say that people born with blue eyes will perfer Cookies over ice cream, but it's meaningless.

Grades are meaningless.

Your weight is meaningless, as is mine.

You want to experience some real discrimination based on your weight? Try hanging out with someone who weighs 600 pounds. or 400 pounds.

As for me, the glass is not half empty nor half full. The glass is the wrong size.

As for me, the glass is not half empty nor half full. The glass is the wrong size.

I find everything you say here to be an obvious (but not previously thought of) truth for me as well. And the quote above is completely perfect for the way life seems to work.

Jodie, I think you've gotten alot of good advice here. The choice whether or not to take any of it is obviously up to you. Like someone else said, maybe you just want to vent, and that's fine too, but if you don't say so up front, you'll get all of our ideas .

Maybe it would do you some good to take a semester off of school while you try and get other things straightened out? Especially if you are missing alot and your grades are suffering for it. Just a thought. Hopefully you'll soon see the light at then of your tunnel