I hate posting this post, but I need some help. I had my last fill at the end of September. As a result of my fill I lost 12 pounds in two months! During December I cheated like crazy. Don't pound on me, as I have beaten myself up, and continue to do so. I was able to eat, eat, and eat. I didn't seem to get full. I thought what the hell-let's just have a great time. Well to make a long story short I gained 5 pounds. OUCH. I did earn those pounds honestly. (Tip: Do not bake 50 dozen cookies, and only give away 40 dozen. Enough said.) Sometimes I was able to eat eight at a time, but even then I didn't get full. I figured it was Christmas. (Not a good excuse!) I did keep exercising, which is the only thing that saved me from gaining a lot more weight.

I was recently put on medication that causes cravings for carbs, and therefore causes weight gain. (No excuse.) I have also had a extremely stressful season. FAMILY- enough said. Also I was diagnosed with epilepsy- hence the medication.

I called my doctor at the beginning of December, because I could feel that I was able to eat more; but because of the holidays the earliest I could get an appointment was January 15th.

My issue I have now is that I feel really bad that I cheated over the holidays. I feel guilt that I have gained 5 pounds. I am wondering if I deserve a fill. I understand that we bandsters have to be responsible with our food, and the band is a tool, and just a tool. I feel that I wasted a whole month- I feel that I didn't respect myself or my band by chowing down during Christmas.

I am trying to slim down and I am using my bodybugg. My calorie count is still high. I have cut sugar, and bad-for-me carbs. I am not eating out. Having said that it is 2 in the morning and I woke up starving. In one hour I was able to eat:

(I did wait 15 minutes before I ate the next meal, but I was still hungry.)

2 servings of cheerio’s and 1/4 cup of milk

1 Quaker granola bar

1 sugar free hot chocolate

10 crackers with peanut butter

(So much for bad-for-me carbs, and sugars.)

I am finally full.

(Please don't lecture me on my food choices. I just put them out there to show you the quantity I am able to eat.)

My concern is that I feel that I don't deserve the fill. I fill like a failure. I have been banded since October, 2007, and I lost 75 pounds- well now 70 pounds.

My question is should I go to my doctor's on Jan 15th for a fill? Or should I try and lose the weight on my own? Has this happened to anyone else? What did you do? Would you go for a fill if you were in my shoes?

(This is the first time I have gained weight with my band.)

GF You just need a fill to get you back inline!

Amy, I am proud of you and I was just going to write the same story about myself!! My adjustment is today and I was going to cancel because I too have gained 5-6 pounds and I am disgusted with myself!! And embarrased but we all Are in the same boat!! I have lost 75 pounds since my surgery Aug1,2008 But feel my bad habits are resurfacing and I am scared and angry that the motivation is slipping. Hang in there!!!

I feel for you, as I'm going through this right now. I have been losing and gaining the same 5 lbs. for months.

This is a tough stage to go through! Don't you feel that after a year or so the support goes away?

I am in the same boat, but they are not going to pick up the phone at the clinic and make us go, we have to pick up that phone and make the next move.

I know..easy for me to say, but this is what I need to do too.

Those monthly weigh-ins helped keep me on track, then it went to 3 month weigh-in to now just every 6 months.

I need more discipline than that, but when I complained to the clinic they said they would work with me. What did I do about this? NOTHING!

So, not sure this will work for you but I am going to

1. Call the clinic for a fill

2. Make appointment to get back on track with the nutionist. I need to be accountable for the foods I eat.

3. Start journaling again get get off my lazy arse! :scared2:

Sorry to rant, but hope this helps!

PS: Your picture is wonderful! You can do this! You are already just about there. Just focus on the good stuff.

Edited January 19, 200917 yr by maryrose