To tell or not to tell?!?

[IWannaBeSkinny 0]

I was wondering what most of you are doing about telling people prior to surgery.

At first I wasnt going to tell many people. But, then I decided that it was easier to be open and honest about it at work. I figured if I told anyone, then everyone else would "hear threw the grapevine". So, I wanted everyone to hear from me personally and then any questions they had I could answer directly.

So I told all of my "close" friends at work one on one a few weeks ago. When I was going to the "dr" every week or so they were asking lots of questions so I just started telling.

It has actually been really helpful. I know that they are all really supportive and here for me. It has been nice to be able to talk about one of the biggest decisions I am making at this point in my life.

How about you guys? What are you doing about this?

[kossde 6]

I told everyone and their mother. I told my female boss, my male boss who replaced her, all of my co-workers and all of the employees beneath me. I've told every member of my family, all my friends, any curious people at the gym and the occasional friendly face at the supermarket.

A few people have had negative responses, accusing me of taking the easy way out. My reply to them has never changed, "I figure I had two options: either I take the easy way out or I die trying to do it the hard way. I decided to survive." That usually quiets them.

I'm not shy about my decision, in fact, I'm incredibly proud of myself. And I think anyone who has the courage to do this should hold their head up high, plant a big fat grin on their face and enjoy the long, healthy life they have just created for themselves.

Congratulations on the decision to change your life!

[ninner 0]

I told everyone at work to head off any rumors, sure enough when I got back one of my friends had told everyone I went in for a sexchange operation, asshole.

[babbs3772 1]

I told everyone and still do, I am very comfortable with my decision to have surgery and tell people so. I have had a couple of odd comments but I head them off as soon as possible - nip it in the bud :tt2:

[babbs3772 1]

I told everyone at work to head off any rumors, sure enough when I got back one of my friends had told everyone I went in for a sexchange operation, asshole.

Oh my god LOL, I think that is awful of your friend but it made me snort my Water and laugh - I assume you are still friends?

[CountryGirlNY 0]

I told everyone and their mother. I told my female boss, my male boss who replaced her, all of my co-workers and all of the employees beneath me. I've told every member of my family, all my friends, any curious people at the gym and the occasional friendly face at the supermarket.

A few people have had negative responses, accusing me of taking the easy way out. My reply to them has never changed, "I figure I had two options: either I take the easy way out or I die trying to do it the hard way. I decided to survive." That usually quiets them.

I'm not shy about my decision, in fact, I'm incredibly proud of myself. And I think anyone who has the courage to do this should hold their head up high, plant a big fat grin on their face and enjoy the long, healthy life they have just created for themselves.

Congratulations on the decision to change your life!

Kossde - I cannot thank you enough for this post. I've also told everyone and anyone that will listen to me long enough to say it. I'm sooo taking your quote everywhere with me. I don't want to die trying either.

Good luck to all -

[LisaRT 0]

So far I've told everyone that I'm having surgery. The only negitive feedback is from my older sister.

Lisa

[ALuv82 0]

I've been thinking about having bariatric surgery for almost a year now but do to my circumstances--just graduating and starting a new job, and then changing jobs, and getting new insurance, etc--I'm only now making the decision final so I haven't told EVERYone yet, but I'm on my way.

I've made a decision to take control of my life and face my problems head on. That's a decision to be proud of. So far I haven't had any negative responses. Most people have been interested about what the surgery entails and how it works.

In my opinion, anyone who thinks you're "taking the easy way out" or doesn't respect your decision, probably doesn't understand it. Being open and honest and answering people's questions in the best way to help them understand where you're coming from and the choice you're making.

[adamsmom 4]

Only told my DH, BF and mom. People at work are too cruel. You should have heard some of the comments they've made about others in my presence. Maybe I'll tell later on, but for now, I'd prefer to keep this private.

[ninner 0]

Oh my god LOL, I think that is awful of your friend but it made me snort my Water and laugh - I assume you are still friends?

It was funny, nobody believed him it was just a big joke and he was an old eating buddy that did'nt take me getting banded to well. Don't worry I'm planning to get him back.

[derbin247 0]

I have told my immediate family, my boyfriend, any my boss and that's it. People are too judgemental and if I don't lose according to their standards, I don't want to hear about it. I just told an immediate support group. I can always tell people later if I chose too.

[TaraBell 0]

I told everyone as well. I work with a handful of people and knew I would need their support. Everyone has been super cool about it and asking what they can do to help.

I have to take two weeks off per my surgeon's orders, so my boss is even going to set me up to work from home since I am hourly and cannot really afford to miss two weeks.

I didn't want to feel like I was hiding anything. i am proud of my decision and I would tell Oprah too. lol

[civildefense1970 0]

If I do it, Im not telling anyone but my wife, who is also planning on banding at the same time. We have family that would never be supportive of anything.. So why bother.

[julestoyou 0]

To tell or not to tell?!?

I was wondering what most of you are doing about telling people prior to surgery.

At first I wasnt going to tell many people. But, then I decided that it was easier to be open and honest about it at work. I figured if I told anyone, then everyone else would "hear threw the grapevine". So, I wanted everyone to hear from me personally and then any questions they had I could answer directly.

I wanted to share with you that I have and did want to tell everyone before I did it. But I only told my mother, husband, sister who is easily over 100 lbs bigger than me and a close nurse friend. Of course my sister was the worst about it and beyond negative. In fact I didn't tell her until two days after as she kept asking my mother where was I. I called her up and told her one negative thing and the phone was hanging up.

I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW GLAD I AM THAT I DID NOT DISCUSS THIS AT WORK.

WHY YOU ASK? WHY HIDE IT OR WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL IT?

Because it has been so much less stressful and easier to go through the first two months. Where I went you didn't get a fill during the operation. I initially lost maybe 6-8 lbs then 14 lbs. Then within three weeks I was back up to within 8 lbs of my surgery weight and very upset. I called my doctor went for a fill within four weeks of surgery and then lost a total of 19 lbs. I got the fill five days before christmas and got through all the holidays with great ease.

Now I am frustrated again as I feel no restriction and as if I never got a fill. So, today I started researching it and found that you can lose your fill and some people have to redo their fills like every 3-4 weeks as they lose the saline. Thank God for this website. Whenever I have an issue I go on here and find the answer.

So, now I will set up for another fill and this tme as for a sticky fill so it sticks.

My whole point to this is I don't have to EXPLAIN to anyone what is going on or my false starts or waste my energy on every up and down with people who don't u/stnd nor would they care except to stare and judge how fast or slow I was losing. It is wonderful to go through this only talking to bandsters and people who are going through it.

Why should you waste your time trying to talk to skinny people who aren't going to comprehend the ups and downs. Let me tell you when the fill isn't working the will power to not eat more is so hard. The band is a tool and it works. But if I have to get a fill every 3 weeks I will. It works so well when it is working.

Another thing I learned is that I wait at the minimum 3 hrs after eating before I drink anything. Wow! What a difference it makes on not getting hungry even with a good fill.

Sorry for the book!. I am SO GLAD I DIDN"T TELL EVERYONE AS I CAN KEEP FOCUSED ON WORK AND NOT MAKING THE DAILY TOPIC OF EVERYONE STARING AT ME AS I GO THROUGH THIS WONDERFUL NEW JOURNEY. IT"S MY EXPERIENCE NOT THEIRS.

[babbs3772 1]

To each's own is what I think - do whatever floats your boat