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Candra! I have the shrinking cookbook 4 you :-)

If you & bridezilla want to come to Santa Rosa, I know a lady who bought out a bunch of bridals shops and has 3 huge storage units full of dresses that she sells for from $10 to $200. Beautiful stuff! She has some bridesmaids dresses to, although probably only about 60-70 of those. I bought my daughter 3 dresses for her wedding, she couldn't make up her mind so I spend the big $30 and got all 3!! The lady even altered one of them for FREE. It may be worth the drive!! Lemme know if you want her name & numba . . . .

OK I ate the tuna!! Can anyone else eat the whole damned can in 1 sitting, or is it just me?!?!

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Oh did I mention . . .I did 5K (3.1 miles) in 39 minutes this morning :-) I think this is where I need to put my efforts, instead of spending SO may hours a day walking SO many miles, I need to do more intense exercise for shorter periods of time. Then MAYbe I can get my house clean, balance things out a little.

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Oh boy - I just updated my ticker and I'm oficially half way to goal!

Riley, I was hoping to be a 9/10 by the time I reached my goal weight - is this where you want to stay? BTW - I've had a pannus my entire life!

Congrats girl! Actually, you are past halfway! How good does THAT feel??? WOOT

My body is resting, I am eating differently, I think I will lose 10-15 more eventually. Size 8 is my goal. My pannus is really not as bad as I thought it was going to be, and it is only below my navel and only in the front - don't need the full TT, just want the skin cut off. The boobies, that is a different story! They are all skin and I want that garbage cut off too, they hang down (almost to my pannus!) and hurt my back - plus make that slap-slap-slap noise when I run up or down the stairs! I need to go see a PS soon and get an idea of how much $$ I am looking at, I know it is $8000 for just the pannus skin to be removed, without ANYthing else. But it actuqlly hangs down about an inch less now than it did when I measured 2 months ago, so I am hoping that as my body changes it will diminish more.

OH and my stupid port sticks out 2" now! You can totally see it under my clothes if I wear a sweater or something. Nicole you have lost almost 100% of excess weight, does yours stick out too far too?

Edited by riley4183

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Hello ladies!

We looked at houses yesterday and saw a great one and the other one. The great one was built in 2006 and is so nice and pretty inside. We're going to put an offer in. The other one... oh my. It's the first occupied home we've seen, so I was expecting that since we made an appt it would be empty when we went there. It was far from empty. There were probably 12 people living in that house! And they were all there. We had to take our shoes off first and the beds weren't even made or anything. It was so akward. When my parents sold their house we kept everything in showing condition so we could leave the house when people wanted to show it. We'd leave at a moment's notice. This was just wierd. There were people in every room!

After all that we went to costco and then home to start cooking for our friends housewarming party. She was afraid there wouldn't be enough food, so I made a ton of stuff. Apparently so did everyone else! I had lots of off diet food. I'm getting back on track today, even planning on going to the gym. It's been too long. I feel good about getting back on track. It'll be nice to have the scale moving in the right direction again.

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Here is what my dear friend Susan (from my 14 week Kaiser WLS class) just posted . . .I think it is VERY instructive!! I hope Liz or Robin or someone from Richmond Kaiser reads this, and knows what a difference they have made in this girl's life! Both Susan, who wrote this, and her sister Buffy who she talks about in here, did the Tahoe Marathon 2 weeks ago, too . . GO TEAM THRIVE!!!

When is the right time for each person to have WLS? How do you know that you are ready? Wish I had a great answer for these questions, but the truth is, there is no right answer, and I believe it is a different journey for each and every person!

Many people who have seen me prior to my WLS and then now, Post Surgery... make many very flattering comments regarding my WLS journey, talking about all the work that I have done, and the changes I have made... just to lose the weight and be approved for the surgery to start with... and then positive comments about my not wanting any cake when it goes around at work, and packing smaller high protien lunches for my meals at work, my clothes swimming on me, rooting me on with my participation in a 10k and half marathon, etc.

The truth is, and those closest to me know... this journey has started and stopped many a time... depending on what you are calling "the journey".

If you consider the decision to have WLS (weight loss surgery) the begining of my journey... it actually started approximately 10 to 11 years ago. That is when I first began to toy with the idea, however had no idea of what exactly was involved and what was required to be successful with it.

A few years after going back and forth with the idea... I actually was referred by my primary doctor. Part of my insurances program (Pacific Care) at the time, was a requirement to take a Healthy Weigh class. This consisted of going to class one day a week for approx. 11 weeks. The whole premise was that your body knew its correct weight and could self regulate your portions if you let it.

I attended each and every class faithfully, even signing up to continue after its finish with a follow up class. We worked on logging when, what, and how much we ate... and ranked how hungry we were in the begining and how full we were at the end of the meal (on a scale of 1-10). We also had movment and exercise at the end of each class... so each week a different type of exercise was introduced (this was my most favorite part). I found that I enjoyed Yoga, the exercise ball, and line dancing the most out of all the different things that we tried each week.

After the above class, I sort of fell off the radar for awhile, again thinking that perhaps I could just do the above and lose the weight by myself, but it didn't quite work that way.

Needless to say I came back to the idea of WLS, and this time was referred to a barriactric surgeon over in Sacramento (approx. 2-3 hrs drive from my home). Those who know me, know that I do not particularly like driving alone, especially long distances and to places that I am not that familiar with. So I dragged a girlfriend, my sister, and anyone else that would go with me.

At this time, family was not so keen on the idea of WLS, however they still stood behind me. I remember my sister saying something to the effect of, are you sure you need to do this, it seems pretty radical, I don't think I could do it!

I went thru a mirad of test, which were all fine, (Labs, X-ray type procedures, Pysch exam, etc.) and told to lose approx. 10 percent of my weight. I was given a 1400 calorie diet to follow, encouraged to exercise and rescheduled to return in another month or two.

So I did what I did best for my entire life... I struggled with keeping to the 1400 calorie diet and I remember going over this amount several times. I remember, it being very difficult to cut back to what I thought was an extremely small amount of food!

Several months and appointments later, I finally got to the initial goal weight and had a surgeons appointment in 1 1/2 weeks. Nervous, nervous, excited, and more nervous... I slipped off the wagon and began to eat...

The day of the appointment, I came up over the weight required... and told to reschedule when I had lost the weight, and so I went... repeating this cycle of losing and gaining, losing and gaining... the doctors office called in every couple of months, but I finally became discouraged and realized just how scared to death I was that I would die on the table during surgery.

My insurance eventually sent me notice that the surgeon was no longer under their list of providers and to contact them for another provider. By this time, I had already given up on the surgery, although it always lingered in the back of my mind somewhere.

I went on eating my way thru life, occasionally thinking or talking about this or that diet. I also actually followed thru several times and tried various diets... Jenny Craig comes to mind, good food although too small of portions, lots of money, and did fine during the day, but in the evening I could easily eat my meal, my snack, another of their snack or twos... and sometimes even go on to look for something else. Needless to say I only lost a few pounds and of course eventually gained them plus some more back. I went on Atkins also... as everyone around me at work was doing it and dropping the weight like crazy! I did lose weight but not as much or as quick as it seemed others were, and when I went off of it... back came the weight plus more. I did the weight watchers program, but often found it hard to make it across to the farthest part of town away from me... and even though I did lose some...again it was alittle at a tme, and very slowly... only to fall off the wagon and regain plus more.

Several years later my sister Buffy decided to go to the referral overview class with her insurance carrier Kaiser. I remember her going on and on ( not usual for her! ), and telling me about how confident she was feeling about the surgery with all of the information she was learning. She also began to make changes in her lifestyle. Not great big changes, but small ones over the course of the 14 week class. She also began to attend the local WLS montly support meeting.

On February 2008, my sister had her surgery at the Kaiser in Richmond. All went well and she returned home after a couple of days. From that point on, every time I saw my sister (fairly often as she lives just on the next street from me), she was either doing some new healthy habbit or looking like she was melting away from the top down.

As I continued to watch my sister and see her progress, I again revisted the idea of the WLS. By this time, I was at my all time high weight of 312.6 give or take, my feet and back constantly hurt, my knees crunched when I walked or stepped up, and I had high blood pressure, ending up on 4 different BP meds. I for the most part had become a spectator to life, sitting or laying down many times during my day. My sister on the other hand, was out walking her dogs on a daily basis, buying new moto cross outfits to ride on the ATV's with her kids, taking up yoga, and getting a bike.

I contacted my insurance and was told I would have to once again go thru a class, but this time it was done over the phone with weekly check in's. As I did this, I began to think about taking the 14 week class that my sister had taken, as it was open to non-kaiser members for an additional twenty dollars. The phone check in thing was just not really doing alot for me.

Timing is everything though... and I was soon told that the phone class was no longer going to be required, and that my employer was not going to pay the same percentage for our insurance any longer. I ended up swithing my insurance to Kaiser, to ensure I did not have to pay more out of my check to keep my prior insurance.

As of July 2008 I had Kaiser Insurance coverage. First thing was first, I picked a doctor and with my sisters advise, requested a referral for WLS and registered for the 14 week class. Initially I was not too happy that I could not get into the September class which was being held on a day of the week that I had off work. I was in a rush and wanted everything done now... I even thought about going to the class and seeing if I might be able to take an empty slot, if someone did not show up.... but instead I dealt with my barriactric appointments. Initially I was contacted by San Francisco Kaiser, but I requested Richmond, and had to wait for the paperwork to be transferred over. (Even though I was in a rush, I wanted to go where my sister had been, as well as it being much easier of a drive and closer to my home).

My first appointment was on September 30th where my official weigh in was 312.6 This was the weight that the center would use from now on. Numerous people were there for the orientation and they came from all over Northern California.

My 14 week WLS overview class started on November 14th 2008. I believe there was 13 people in the class. Amazingly enough several worked for the county like I did, but in different departments. The class was very enlightening, and encouraged us to make small changes that we knew we could accomplish weekly- not as a diet, but as a way of living and for a new life! The class also worked on negative self talk and image, and turning those inner feelings and voices into positive ones. Each week we either had a speaker and/or worked on another part of successful WLS life. I remember one evening we each picked a couple of small snack crackers, shut our eyes, feel it in our hands, smell it deeply and focus on the smell, hold it in our mouth and note its texture and enjoy its crunch, and really savor its flavor. We were to be completely present during that exercise with the food and note how much we got out of the little piece of food when doing so. WOW!

It was amazing to me, just how much the group of us had in common... We all tended to be very giving people, and did alot for others, but when it came to ourselves... not so much! Most of us had sleep apnea, and were either borderline or actually needed C-pap machines, none of us were really exercising, and many physically could not, and the list could go on and on.

Even though I wanted so very badly to get into the earlier class, this is where I was meant to be... and where I found a safe place...and great friends and support.

Nearly all of us have had our surgery, and the few that have not, still worked on making positive changes in their lives, and will find the right time and way for them... as I believe it is all in the timing...and things are meant to happen in a certain way...usually ending up for the best!

I have often wished that I had done the surgery earlier... but the time was not right for me... when I went into surgery in January this year... I was a little scared... but not of dying on the table ( the 14 week class, along with researching the hospital and talking to my surgeon Dr. Parks and finding that neither had ever had a fatality on the operating table quickly gave me confidence), but possible complications down the road... this was quickly laid to rest as I knew I would die early without it...and the next half of my life would not be that of a quality one unless I made some radical lifestyle changes...

So if you are contemplating the surgery, that is fine... if you are scared... that is fine, do some research...if you are deciding not to have the surgery but going to try it on your own and am making any positive changes in your lifestyle... I salute you... If you have had the surgery but having a rough time...go back to the basics and start setting small goals to incorporate the WLS rules... if you have had the surgery and am working it... I say to you ROCK ON!!!!

Edited by riley4183
double posted

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Well for bein' in bandster hell, you guys don't eat squat compared to what I was eating! I did same as Tina, lost good and then gained back 5 lbs. in the 2 weeks before my first fill. I still gain back a couplw when I'm due for a fill, but I gained a BUNCH back before that first one! It's the only real blip on the weight loss slide graph . . . .

I met Pat this morning! (Hi Pat!) I can't wait for her to meet all the rest of you all, she sure enjoyed our energetic little Jess! Now I have someone to carpool with, yay! And we have a support group meeting this coming Thursday, and another one next Tiesday . . it's all about the support! The big group meeting up here today was very inspirational, as usual. SO proud of myself that I only cried 2 times!

Going to walk to store with son, type when I get back :-)

Riley - It was wonderful to meet you finally - you look fantastic - really really great. (I loved learning about the binder clip and can't wait until I can use one!) Your energy and sense of humor is awesome.

So I got up and did my exercise first thing this morning - you and Jess are my heroes! (Also bought a new scale yesterday after the meeting - all you < 40's won't relate, but I couldn't read the teeny tiny lines! It looks like I am down more, but will not change my ticker until I weigh at Kaiser on Thursday when I go for my Psych appt.)

The group yesterday was great - such incredible stories of perserverance and hope. I didn't speak because I was mostly welling up listening and relating to the feelings. This weight affects so much more than just what size you are/how you look. Dave really got to me - he has so much courage. Thanks for hooking me up with the group and I will also try the Kaiser one on Thursday. Support, support, support!

Riley, thanks again, you really are my inspiration. Can't wait to meet the rest of the gals here.

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Heather woo-hoo! Making on offer! OMG how exciting! COngrats - or shall I save that until your offer is accepted. woo-hoo!

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Oh Pat I am so glad you enjoyed it! Although I cry so muvch through those things thatnI'm not even sure "enjoy" is the right word! Oh if you think Dave's story is moving, you should hear little 18 year old Paloma's dad when he gets up and speak about how proud he is of her - not a dry eye in the house!

Yes it is ALL about support, and about dealing with our feelings, which are what put us on the website in the 1st place if you think about it! And I am so glad that the depression topic came up several times yesterday, it is REAL and we all go through it at some level!

Besides that meeting and Tim/Bonnie's 3rd Thursday support group, we (what used to be my 14 week class (you met only 2 of them yesterday), plus others we have welcomed along the way) also meet every other Tuesday at one of the members' houses, and we would LOVE to have you! We are all Kaiser, either Richmond or SSF, and almost all have had syurgery now. We laugh almost the whole time! We used to cry a lot more, come to think of it . . . now we are a lot less scared!

People ask me all the time what the secret is, and I have 2 answers: 1) exercise (sorry!); and 2) support.

ANYways . . I will see you Thursday! Great to meet you too! And yes, binder clips ARE a fashion accessory!!!

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Riley - The Pannus/Mannus story is a hoot - you, Jess and Candra always make me smile. I hope we can figure out a date and place to meet up - liked the idea of someplace between north and east - I'm game for being the driver.

Wow what a great story from Susan - was she one of the gal's sitting next to you yesterday? It is a process; I am dealing with telling some family members and friends and their reactions; for the most part positive, but some not so much. It is a challenge but the support groups are helping me keep the focus on the long term and reinforcing why I think this is a good choice for me.

I think last week you wrote something about all the problems in your life that didn't go away /get fixed by your weight loss. One questions I keep thinking about is - did it help how you feel about you? your confidence your self esteem?

I don't think it is going to fix my problems with my relationships or work, etc., but I keep thinking I am going to feel better about me and possibly project that different feeling and so things may indirectly get better because of it (for instance I've really lost alot of confidence at work and believe that I'm treated differently because of my weight and because I've lost my confidence.)

I also really related to what you said yesterday and in your posts below about balance. I don't do balance very well in my life; I'm a work-aholic. And then everything after that goes to my family. I'm always a distant last, until now that I am trying to do this. Like you I believe balance is the key, just really hard to figure out how to do it.

Edited by wantshealth

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OH yes, balance is my #1 issue. I am known for saying "It's all about ME" because it's something that I (co that I am) did not discover I was even capable of until after 45! Now I tend to overdo the "me" part (well my youngest thinks so!) but I have discovered that I really like doing for me - in fact, I really like me, and I've missed her!

Self-esteem has never been an issue for me, denial yes but self-esteem, no. I denied that I was treated any differently @ work because of my weight; I am a professional and I work with professionals. It was not until I had dropped 70-80 lbs. that I started noticing that folks were REALLY paying attention when I talked, that they were actually hearing me, etc. and that just pissed me off! I'm the same person . . . . but probably cockier and more self-assured now. OK more than probably :-) I an definately cockier. Most of my friends, tho, have expressed that with weight loss comes a much higher level of self-esteem, and most of them struggle with the new-found attention. I don't; I have always liked attention. But if you are used to being able to hide and suddenly you can't anymore, it's crazy!

Have you read my thread, "what else have you lost?" people have lost friends, marraiges, etc. because their attitude has changed in 2 important ways: 1), they have learned to put themselves first; and 2), they have stopped putting up with sh*t from others. People who don't want us to change and grow and be self-assured don'tlike those changes!

How did weight loss change how I feel about me? It made me feel like me. I was here all along :-) and I missed me. I was lost in a fat person - and was in denial about it for a long, LONG time. I love having a body that works for me again. I love being "normal." I love losing my frumpy look, and feeling like I look nice and neatr and prefessional again. I like being able to wear business suits to my hearings. This is who I walays knew I was.

I guess people DO react differently to me now - they act right :-) Does that sound weird? OH Pat you have got to come to a Tuesday meeting - Mia, who I was sitting next to yesterday, spoke (very tearfully) about this subject just a few weeks ago. No, Susan was not at the meeting yesterday, but I had walked 3 miles with her an hour earlier! We remain a big part of each others' lives, thank the Lord "-)

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OH! I forgot to announce - Michelle (Team Thrive, and at meeting yesterday) and I work in the same Department, and Friday we turned in our newsletter story that goes all over the county - about our weight loss surgeries! RNY for her, LAP-BAND® for me - both Kaiser, SSF for her and Richmond for me. It reads like a freakin' Thrive ad . . . . So we have "come out" about our WLS's to total strangers and clients now!! Wish us luck . . .deadline was friday, story should be out within 2 weeks! I'm a little nervous, but here goes!!!

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OH! I forgot to announce - Michelle (Team Thrive, and at meeting yesterday) and I work in the same Department, and Friday we turned in our newsletter story that goes all over the county - about our weight loss surgeries! RNY for her, LAP-BAND®® for me - both Kaiser, SSF for her and Richmond for me. It reads like a freakin' Thrive ad . . . . So we have "come out" about our WLS's to total strangers and clients now!! Wish us luck . . .deadline was friday, story should be out within 2 weeks! I'm a little nervous, but here goes!!!

Riley - I'm so proud of you - it takes guts - obvioulsy lots of people are supportive and in awe, but as you know there are those who think its the easy way, etc. You guys should be in one of their Thrive adds! You've all done so great.

I would really like to come to your Tuesday group - I need the personal contact (although I love this forum and these gals and use it every day.) Send me a personal message with info. I'm planning on going to the Thurs. group to try that one out.

I, too, am a professional woman and really wanted to believe that it was what you did, your results, and what was in your head that mattered. About a year ago we went through yet another reorganization and downsizing - all the management positions were up in the air. It took months and months for things to settle - they posted one layer at a time (so we didn't know if we would have a job for about 6 months - I am sole support of my family - husband doesn't work - another long story:mad:. So it was very very stressful). I was an IT director when I worked at GE and was a director where I work now but in a different area, but then changed jobs and went back into my main career in computer technology about 4 years ago with lots of encouragement about moving up if I took a job at the manager level. Well long story, during this reorg I applied for about 12 different sr. director jobs and didn't get 1 of them. I won't go into all the details, this is already too long a thread, but the bottom line is that it really did a number on me. At the time I was also really struggling with menopause and my husband not working and some trouble my older son had gotten into. Anyway, my confidence just went to hell. And of course I just gained more and more weight. Whenever I have lost weight in the past, my confidence / how I feel about myself is so much better. And I know that must make a difference in how I come across.

Riley - I don't know where my size 10s are anymore -if I kept them - I'll have to ask my husband if I have any clothes boxes in garage loft; I do have size 12's and I know where they are! I can't remember if I have any suits but I think I may have 1 or 2, but probably have some jacket and slacks. It we can figure out logictics (have to be on a weekend) you are welcome to borrow until I can fit back into them.

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Riley - one more thing - how do you get to your thread about 'what else you have lost."

I know I'm a tech manager, but this site baffles me!

Also, is there any quick way to get to this Kaiser Richmond thread when you first log on - I kept going to my profile list and selecting my subscription thread, but there must be a faster way.

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Riley - one more thing - how do you get to your thread about 'what else you have lost."

I know I'm a tech manager, but this site baffles me!

Also, is there any quick way to get to this Kaiser Richmond thread when you first log on - I kept going to my profile list and selecting my subscription thread, but there must be a faster way.

LOL Pat, exactly what I have been wondering but was afraid to ask! I drag down to my subscribed threads everytime, unless I see that the last post to the pre-op segment was our group then I just click nthere! I have no freaking idea how to do it the "short" way, but you are right, there has to be one!

For "what else have you lost", just go to post-op and search for that

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ANyone out there? Heather? John? Jes is out having fun - just us here I guess!

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      I have no clue where to upload this, so I'll put it here. This is pre-op vs the morning of my 6 month appointment! In office I weight 232, that's 88 lbs down since my highest weight, 75 lbs since my surgery weight! I can't believe this jacket fit... I am smaller now than the last time I was this size which the surgeon found really amusing. He's happy with where I am in my weight loss and estimates I'll be around 200 lbs by my 1 year anniversary! My lowest weight as an adult is 195, so that's pretty damn exciting to think I'll be near that at a year. Everything from there will be unknown territory!!

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