This is a question that has recently come to mind.. My kids are 8 and 11 and have never seen me thin. They don't recognize me in pictures before kids at all, and just before I started this journey they had made little comments about my weight. My kids are very intuned to my feeling and emotions, and I to theirs.. They often surprise me with things they say and questions they ask. They know when I need a hug as much as I know when they need one so I am a little concerned as to how they will deal with this.. The last time I was in the hospital I had broken my leg and when I came home our lives were put on hold for 6 months. I couldn't go anywhere with them that I had to walk very far, not even shopping. It was a horrible time for them and me so I hope I can reassure them that this won't be the same thing.

They have heard me mention the LapBAnd but I haven't sat them down yet.. any suggestions of what to say or not to say??

This should be a whole different ball game from the last time... If they are so intune to you, they will see how this will make you happier and healthier. Instead of having their lives put on hold because you can't get around, they will have a mother who is more able to be part of everything they do... Keep them informed, let them know what this means to you... They will be so proud of their mom and will be some of your best support... You'll do fine.... Best of luck.... Julie

wickedme...this will be so much different.. because now you are doing something so you can be with your children longer and I am not sure how your kids are, but from the way you talk about them they seem very loving.. My son is 7 and he loves taking care of his Mommy and Daddy.. so when my husband and I had our surgies we let our son stay home from school for 1 day to take care of us and help us through that day.. He was very loving and very helpful..All I told him when he asked what we had surgery for was that we wanted to make sure we could have help living a healthier life so we would be here for eachother and him longer.. He just smiled.. We have taught our son that it does not matter if a person is big or small, fat or skinny, we are all peole and deserve to be treated the same... He told me after my surgery he liked me just the way i was and at the size I was.. I just smiled at him and said thank you handsome, but mommy will be able to do more fun things with you... It wont change who I am.. Just what I can do with who I am...

I just suggest answering their questions honestly and being as open with them as you feel comfortable.. the more the better..

Best wishes

Edited October 21, 200817 yr by meschultz

You know, I was wondering the exact same thing. My girls are 16, 11, 9, 6, & 4. I have NEVER been any smaller than an 18 and I am praying and wishing that I get down there again. My 11 yr old said that she is afraid that I won't look the same or be the same "mom". I told her that no matter how much weight I loose, my disposition (sp?) will not change. I love them all the same and once I loose some weight, I will be able to take them to more places and do more things with them. I think your babies will react just fine to the change. They will see how good you are feeling and more than likely the confidence change too. Good luck!

April

My kids love it. They love the fact that most people these days are overweight and out of shape and they have the hot mum, lol. And they love boasting about the fact that I can run 10kms to their friends, they even fib and say they came with me.

They love that I dont wear daggy, embarrassing clothes too.

Of course, I never taught them thin is better. We had in fact talked about how everyone is the same and deserves the same respect on a number of occasions, particularly when I heard comments about other people. But the fat prejudice has set in, it comes from more than just home, I fear. And I suspect my journey, and my obvious relief not to be a fat person anymore has reinforced that for them. DH is now banded too which reinforces it doubly. We have definitely sent the message that it is not good to be fat and that we are willing to take quite drastic steps to avoid it. It was never my intention to reinforce the fat is bad message, but I think we have.

They are 12, 11 and 5. Of course, Eliza who's 5 remembers no different. But the boys do.

Edited October 21, 200817 yr by Jachut

My two boys, 10 and 5, were distressed when I told them I was having surgery to help me lose weight. My 10 year old said 'I like you squishy' and the 5 year old said "Mommies are supposed to be soft".

Personally, I think they were unhappy because they knew the days of making mommy's belly fat do the wave were numbered.

I did the whole explanation thing about how losing weight helps helps you lead a more healthy life but they weren't having any of it.

My solution? I simply pointed out that mommy would now be able to take them to the park more often, play laser tag with them for the first time ever and the best thing of all, mommy would be around a lot longer for them.

They liked that answer.

It also helped I let them videotape the belly wave and I did the 'fat butt dance' for them to record for posterity as well. For the record, the fat butt dance is done in your underwear and shaking your rear end as quickly as possible, usually to a song by the Wiggles OR Van Halen (hey, I'm an artist, people) and a good time is had by all.

In the end, they adapt. The husband on the other hand, is REALLY disturbed. He was home for lunch today, gave me a hug and said "Wow...I can actually get my arms around you now!''

And yes, he's still breathing. :grouphug: