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Is everyone against me?*RANT*
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*SCREAMS AT THE TOP OF HER LUNGS*
Okay, I have to do a six month pre op diet in order for my insurance to cover me, but whenever I tell someone that I'm on a diet and I'm going to get a band, they say: "Oh, you can do it on your own. You just have to be strong and not eat all those sweets. 'Kay sweetie?" (This was from my aunt who is not exactly skinny. More like "overweight"). Then she smiles at me and turns away.
My parents are EXACTLY the same. Oh you can do it on your own. You don't need the surgery. You just have to eat less, exercise more. You need to buy better clothes. You need to get a job and be busy. If you lose a lot of weight, will you still get the surgery? (Yes, because no matter how much I lose, I gain it all back and more. This is even with me following the diet!).
I mean, I need to get the surgery because I have never been skinny in my life. I have always been the fat one and I was always picked on through out my life. I just want to be under 200 lbs for once in my life. I just want to be able to have confidence in myself. I just want to be NORMAL! I hate feeling as though everyone is laughing at me or despising me because I'm a huge walrus.
I know now that I can't tell anyone that I'm on a diet and I'm getting surgery because it hurts too much when they say I can do it on my own. If I could do it on my own, I wouldn't be here! I'm seriously thinking that I'm doomed to be fat for the rest of my life because I can never be skinny. I know that being healthy isn't "end all be all", but when you've been picked on most of your life about your weight (and from family members, no doubt.) it feels like it.
*Side-note*: This isn't a pity party. I'm just ranting and expressing my views. The last thing I need is someone telling me to suck it up and stop being so self absorbed. If that's what you're going to say, don't say it. Okay? Thanks!