joeyramonesgirl

It says under my wonderful, sexy picture of Joey Ramone, that I joined lapbandtalk in September of 2008. Yet, I kind of left in December 2008 because I was misdiagnosed as having Recurrent Depressive Episodes. Unfortunately, being misdiagnosed with RDE instead of BP is common. I honestly now know what normal feels like. I know what it is to not having racing thought with that bad tinge of depression and suicidal ideation. Can you imagine? Being told you are depressed and given anti depressants and they work on everyone else but you? I was finally given a mood stabilizer in March and I have never felt better. My doctors are now treating me as someone with bipolar, instead of someone with depression. They are now looking at me with a clearer picture. Did I mention how nice it is to be normal? I tell you: IT FEELS GREAT!!!:smile2:

It says under my wonderful, sexy picture of Joey Ramone, that I joined lapbandtalk in September of 2008. Yet, I kind of left in December 2008 because I was misdiagnosed as having Recurrent Depressive Episodes. Unfortunately, being misdiagnosed with RDE instead of BP is common. I honestly now know what normal feels like. I know what it is to not having racing thought with that bad tinge of depression and suicidal ideation. Can you imagine? Being told you are depressed and given anti depressants and they work on everyone else but you? I was finally given a mood stabilizer in March and I have never felt better. My doctors are now treating me as someone with bipolar, instead of someone with depression. They are now looking at me with a clearer picture. Did I mention how nice it is to be normal? I tell you: IT FEELS GREAT!!!:rolleyes2:

Bypass or band? Band or bypass? Please sir, may I have both? God, I'm pathetic. I did so much research and time and looking up stuff that I thought I would never look up, and look where I am; I'm choosing RNY over the band. I believe that RNY would be better for me because I feel I keep with the upkeep of having a band. I might not get fills because I might think, "What's the point?" I think the RNY would better suit me because it is permenant. I can't go back and say, "Here, take this out of me because I don't want it anymore." Yes, with GB my pouch my stretch or I might get ulcers or I might leak stomach acid. Hell, I might even die during the surgery. But with the lapband there are risks too. I could die from surgery, my band could slip or worse: erode. I could not respond to it and that would just be a waste of money (in my opinion). I want to do what's best for me and my family. My bipolar is under control, but I still have that small twinge of depression left. And that is from being obese. I really wish I could accept myself because I know so many people who do accept me. But if I can't love myself, why does it matter. I need this surgery in order to feel comfortable again... You know...when I was at my lowest, 200 lbs, I felt so sexy and fun. But now at 250 lbs, I don't feel that anymore. I feel like a whale. I know surgery isn't a cure all and I don't expect that. What I do expect it to do is to HELP me lose weight, instead of going at it alone. I've told only a few people that I'll be getting weight loss surgery and their response is always, "Oh but you don't need it. You're a normal weight." or "But you're so pretty. Why would you do something like that?" I need to do it because if I don't, my weight will kill me! I feel as though the lapband, while it works great for other people, I honestly and truly think it's not for me. I wanted so bad and so long, but after digging through my soul (wow. that's deep), I found that I need something that will be with me forever. I don't think I could handle having a foreign object in my body. Maybe I'm just being a big baby with all this stuff. I don't know though. I just wish I had a magic 8 ball to tell me what surgery I should go with. JRG

Bypass or band? Band or bypass? Please sir, may I have both? God, I'm pathetic. I did so much research and time and looking up stuff that I thought I would never look up, and look where I am; I'm choosing RNY over the band. I believe that RNY would be better for me because I feel I keep with the upkeep of having a band. I might not get fills because I might think, "What's the point?" I think the RNY would better suit me because it is permenant. I can't go back and say, "Here, take this out of me because I don't want it anymore." Yes, with GB my pouch my stretch or I might get ulcers or I might leak stomach acid. Hell, I might even die during the surgery. But with the lapband there are risks too. I could die from surgery, my band could slip or worse: erode. I could not respond to it and that would just be a waste of money (in my opinion). I want to do what's best for me and my family. My bipolar is under control, but I still have that small twinge of depression left. And that is from being obese. I really wish I could accept myself because I know so many people who do accept me. But if I can't love myself, why does it matter. I need this surgery in order to feel comfortable again... You know...when I was at my lowest, 200 lbs, I felt so sexy and fun. But now at 250 lbs, I don't feel that anymore. I feel like a whale. I know surgery isn't a cure all and I don't expect that. What I do expect it to do is to HELP me lose weight, instead of going at it alone. I've told only a few people that I'll be getting weight loss surgery and their response is always, "Oh but you don't need it. You're a normal weight." or "But you're so pretty. Why would you do something like that?" I need to do it because if I don't, my weight will kill me! I feel as though the lapband, while it works great for other people, I honestly and truly think it's not for me. I wanted so bad and so long, but after digging through my soul (wow. that's deep), I found that I need something that will be with me forever. I don't think I could handle having a foreign object in my body. Maybe I'm just being a big baby with all this stuff. I don't know though. I just wish I had a magic 8 ball to tell me what surgery I should go with. JRG

Wow, thanks for the support and everything! So, here's what I've done yesterday: 1)Posted same question on obesityhelp.com and got a response that was more, "let's create waves than solve problems". Although I have to admit, it would be something I would do. 2)Called my insurance (bcbs PPO) and asked what I can do. They said they really can do nothing, but they gave me the number to the American Medical Association: 1-800-621-8335 (just in case anyone needs it, boom. There it is.) 3)Goes back to the anwser on OH.com and what parrotheadkathy and falloutgal suggested: go over to my doc's office and tell her to get my records and if she doesn't do it in a timely manner, let's say hour and a half, I will call the AMA and her hospital's ethics line. This is my plan of action. I actually created a log of what dates I called on and had letters sent to her, saying to PLEASE release my records. You know what? This thing is giving me unnecessary anxiety over just a few pieces of paper. I'm going to be telling that to her too. JRG

As you can see from the title, my doctor has not been sending in my records in to UIC (my hospital) and it has gotten my dander up. I've asked for my records more than a month and a half ago. I know she is violating IL HIPAA and also her ethics. I really don't know what to do, other than call my insurance and tell them that she is not giving up my records. I've even asked for them myself, but no go. And I've talked to UIC and they have exhausted all options. Does anyone have a clue on what to do next?:smile: Thanks, JRG

Hey all, Thanks for all the encouraging posts and private messages I've received over these past two weeks. It made me cry for the all outpouring of support I got. Thank you! *HUGS* I'm back. I just popped in to give you guys an update: I didn't go to the mental hospital like I wanted, but I went into an Intensive Outpatient Program (a day psyche war if you will) and I'll probably be there for a couple of months. I'm trying not to go on the computer as much because I believe that holds a lot of reasons why I'm depressed: bored, anxious, tired (and more. It's not just the computer either. It's sleeping, reading and non-social activities). For me, I'm still recovering and I just want to be mentally healthy. I'm still trying to take it one day at a time. Hope everyone is okay and love ya lots! Katie (AKA JRG)

Hey all, I have some bad news. I am admitting myself to a mental hospital and won't be able to be around for some time. The reason is, is because I've been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder and have been having panic attacks all month. I'll make this story somewhat short, so bear with me. I was home schooled all my life, until I begged my parents, to let me join a regular high school. Freshman year was okay, but my sophomore year was hell. I was stalked, sent death threats, was in verbal and physical fights with three girls from this school. Not only that, but the school administration told me it was my fault. The reason these girls picked on me? I was talking to guys and they said that I shouldn't even look at guys because a) I was fat, I was ugly and c) the guys I hang out with are just humoring me because they feel sorry for me. I couldn't take it anymore and I was seriously thinking of suicide. My parents pulled me out, but damage was done; I had severe (now upgraded to chronic) depression, general anxiety disorder and social anxiety disorder. This was a little more than four years ago and I'm still feeling the aftershocks. This year however, I enrolled in a community college and was a full time student. But as the days and weeks went on, I started having panic attacks and deepening depression. I keep thinking that everyone hates me and wants me to go. I really want to do well in my classes, but I can't concentrate and I just feel so...lost, confused and angry and hurt. I'm thinking of death and how wonderful the world would be without me. I just want to disappear and the world can move on. These thoughts are what prompted me to get help. I need to get better and not let these thoughts invade my mind anymore. I just ask that you think of me so I can get better. I'll be around tonight anwsering some questions on other boards (like, mineral make up:tongue2:). God bless and I wish everyone well, Katie AKA JoeyRamonesGirl

WHOOT! SNT you're in bandland (lucky duckie) :cool2: Hope everything went well and remember that those drugs are legal; so don't be asking for another band after the drugs wear off! :rolleyes2: :thumbdown::rose::thumbup::smile: YAY SickNTired!

Hey SickNTired! Surgery is coming! You'll do awesome and everything will turn out great! Make sure you tell us how everything went! YOU GO GIRL!

This is my opinion; if people have to link articles to things that THEY think are right, they obviously don't have enough information on the subject anyway. If you can't express your ideas clearly and precisely, what's the point of posting? Make your opinion your own, not someone else's. And don't say it's to back up what you are saying. Someone just thought of saying something better than you!! Now I don't mind if people post articles for how your body works, but when it says that scientists SUPPOSEDLY found the "fat" gene, "skinny" gene, "why-I-eat-everything" gene, I just walk away.

PICTURES...NOW...KITTENS...oh god, I just think I will get a cuteness overload! :biggrin:

Triple ditto counseling. I might also suggest psychotherapy as an option as well. Since food and/or your weight was an issue and probably took up most of your energy, you don't have anything else to concentrate on. If it's any comfort, I've been through psychotherapy, counseling and group therapy.The doctors and social workers want you to get better and be a better person. I say this stuff, because some people a stigma with any mental therapy or help.It's nothing bad to worry about because everyone needs it at some point in their lives. The sooner you get help, the sooner you can feel better. Now that you've taken care of your psychical health, get some help for your head. You'll totally see through this and be awesome!:biggrin: *HUGS*

*NOTE*: This doesn't deserve a new thread, so I'm just posting it here to let off some steam. ***RANT***:thumbup: I got canceled for my appointment today at the hospital. This happened last time too at the Kane Center. I had such a bad panic attack when this happened because it relates back to when I was young and I just connected the dots and I just lost it. I hate myself because maybe I don't deserve the band or any type of surgery; I'm just doomed to be fat the rest of my life. Now I know that's not true, but sometimes I can't help but feel...well, helpless. ***END RANT***:biggrin: Why does diet rootbeer taste so good? The gods should be punished!:wink2:

:blushing:Sorry. I want the band, but I hate going to the complications board because then I question if I want the band or not; with the sleeve, it's permanent, so really no worries (other than stretching of the pouch, leaks from the staples, etc.) No problem-o!:wink2: You worked so hard and now, you can get what you wanted to help change your life. Good job! Happy Bandeversery Luluc! Thoughts to the newbies on the board who want the band or pearls of wisdom? C'mon! Share!:biggrin: